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The Book of Dog: A Satire
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello
- Length: 9 hrs and 55 mins
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Publisher's summary
When their peoples mysteriously vanish, a pair of faithful dogs must work with their foul-mouthed feline friend to discover why, and how to bring them back home.
---------
Banger and Mash knew something strange was happening when their peoples’ scent began to fade. Sweetpea the cat knew it too, but…you know…he just wasn’t that worried about it. But when their human vanishes into thin air right before their noses, they race to get help from the other dogs in the village, only to discover that EVERYONE'S humans have disappeared.
Banger, a rescue with a traumatic past, convinces the other dogs that they must have done something Very Bad to incur this terrible punishment. Determined to become Perfect Dogs to entice the humans to return to them, a draconian system of laws is put into place to keep dogs from doing anything that might be seen as Bad—no more eating trash, no more sleeping on the couch, and definitely no humping. Sweetpea is more than happy to use his prodigious feline memory to help them keep track of their ever-more-complicated rules…so long as they refer to him as His Masterfulness, and pay him homage.
Mash, on the other hand, is not so sure that they’re going about it the right way. He wants to be a Good Dog, but he’s pretty sure that the whole reason the peoples loved them in the first place was because they were…well…dogs.
As differing philosophies give rise to conflict amongst the canines, a new theory of how they should behave arises from an unlikely source: Sweetpea--AKA, His Masterfulness--who is either the only cat capable of hearing the voice of the peoples…or maybe he’s just going crazy.
Satire and metaphysics come together in this humorous and often heartwarming tale about our four-legged friends, and how love conquers all.
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Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
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They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
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Heads Will Roll
- By: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrated by: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
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More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
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Made in America
- By: Bill Bryson
- Narrated by: William Roberts
- Length: 18 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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In Made in America, Bryson de-mythologizes his native land, explaining how a dusty hamlet with neither woods nor holly became Hollywood, how the Wild West wasn't won, why Americans say 'lootenant' and 'Toosday', how Americans were eating junk food long before the word itself was cooked up, as well as exposing the true origins of the G-string, the original $64,000 question, and Dr Kellogg of cornflakes fame.
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Bryson Not Reading Makes For a Rare Fail
- By John on 02-28-14
By: Bill Bryson
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The Heron
- By: Don Winslow
- Narrated by: Ed Harris
- Length: 1 hr and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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“The Heron” is the nickname a big-city accountant has attached to himself in his new home near San Diego, where he’s using the alias to avoid a hit man who may be after him. It seems a former client believes that The Heron has skipped town with several million dollars not his own. Don Winslow’s ensuing, entertaining yarn is by turns twisty, dark, and comical as we observe the delicate dance between the pursuer and the pursued.
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Awfully long middle for such a short story
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 07-29-22
By: Don Winslow
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American Psycho
- By: Bret Easton Ellis
- Narrated by: Pablo Schreiber
- Length: 16 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Patrick Bateman moves among the young and trendy in 1980s Manhattan. Young, handsome, and well educated, Bateman earns his fortune on Wall Street by day while spending his nights in ways we cannot begin to fathom. Expressing his true self through torture and murder, Bateman prefigures an apocalyptic horror that no society could bear to confront.
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Fanntastic book but maybe not for everyone....
- By So Fain on 03-27-11
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Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come
- One Introvert's Year of Saying Yes
- By: Jessica Pan
- Narrated by: Jessica Pan
- Length: 8 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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What would happen if a shy introvert lived like a gregarious extrovert for one year? If she knowingly and willingly put herself in perilous social situations that she’d normally avoid at all costs? Writer Jessica Pan intends to find out. With the help of various extrovert mentors, Jessica sets up a series of personal challenges (talk to strangers, perform stand-up comedy, host a dinner party, travel alone, make friends on the road, and much, much worse) to explore whether living like an extrovert can teach her lessons that might improve the quality of her life.
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Encouraging memoir: Sorry, cheer
- By Aaron Menz on 07-03-23
By: Jessica Pan
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Cut and Thirst
- A Short Story
- By: Margaret Atwood
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 1 hr and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Myrna, Leonie, and Chrissy meet every Thursday to sample fine cheeses, to reminisce about their former lives as professors, and lately, to muse about murder. Decades ago, a vicious cabal of male poets contrived—quite publicly and successfully—to undermine the writing career, confidence, and health of their dear friend Fern. Now, after Fern has taken a turn for the worse, her three old friends decide that it’s finally time to strike back—in secret, of course, since Fern is far too gentle to approve of a vendetta.
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Made me want a G&T
- By C. Seaver on 06-11-24
By: Margaret Atwood
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The Remaining
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In a steel-and-lead-encased bunker 20 feet below the basement level of his house, a soldier waits for his final orders. On the surface, a plague ravages the planet, infecting over 90% of the populace. The bacterium burrows through the brain, destroying all signs of humanity and leaving behind little more than base, prehistoric instincts. The infected turn into hyper-aggressive predators, with an insatiable desire to kill and feed. Someday soon, the soldier will have to open the hatch to his bunker, and step out into this new wasteland, to complete his mission....
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Die Hard Meets 28 Days Later
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A Harvest of Ash and Blood
- By: D.J. Molles
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- Length: 17 hrs and 21 mins
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Trying to escape a lifetime of regrets—and outrun his own demons—veteran soldier Lochled Thatcher embarks on the Fourth Crusade to Leftland, a country rich in magic. Desperate to save her brothers, Rony joins Lochled’s squad only to discover that war is very different from all the songs and fancy speeches. As politics and power clash, Kayna, a Seeker, and Ord, a priest of the Church of Alchemy, find their foundations of loyalty and faith shaken and crumbling. In this theater of chaos, magic, and treachery, soldier and priest alike will find their humanity in as much danger as their lives.
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Good story not a great performance
- By wpattison on 07-26-24
By: D.J. Molles
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Breaking Gods
- Godbreaker, Book 1
- By: D. J. Molles
- Narrated by: Christian Rummel
- Length: 9 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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In the beginning, the gods destroyed the world. Five hundred years later, things haven’t gotten much better for humans. The demigods that were left behind to guard over humanity have been using them as fodder for an endless civil war between themselves, and the humans just go on dutifully slaughtering each other, battle after battle. It’s not all bad, though. Perry McGown makes his living off those bloody, stinking battlefields. He works on a crew that reclaims all the spent shell casings. But if anyone found out that he was a deserter from the war, he’d be executed for heresy.
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Why does the author make it so hard to like the main character
- By Teressa Vanda on 10-02-19
By: D. J. Molles
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Harden
- Lee Harden, Book 1
- By: D. J. Molles
- Narrated by: Christian Rummel
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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It’s been three years since Lee Harden emerged from his bunker into a world gone mad. Governments have fallen. And new ones have taken their place. In the United Eastern States, Lee and his team of battle-hardened operatives walk a tightrope of survival, keeping their fledgling society safe from the creatures beyond their gates - and from the enemies within. Then, an ambush in hostile territory reveals a traitor in their midst - and leaves Lee barely clinging to life. Wounded and on the run, Lee and his team race to uncover the leak before it’s too late.
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Truly Exceptional
- By smb072 on 10-27-18
By: D. J. Molles
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The Santas
- By: D. J. Molles
- Narrated by: Adam Grupper
- Length: 5 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Santa's helpers don't always dispose of bodies, but that's what Tucker Smith is doing right now. Specifically, the body of his own Santa - one of thousands worldwide - who was just murdered in an apparent random act of violence. Now, Tucker will have to somehow manage to deliver Christmas to his assigned region while he struggles to patch things up with his family, all while training the replacement sent to him by The Organization and trying to uncover the mystery of who killed Santa. And there's only five days left until Christmas.
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I liked it.
- By Anth0ny909 on 12-09-20
By: D. J. Molles
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Ryan in UnWonderland
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- By: Craig Robertson
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello
- Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins
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Jon Ryan has some unfinished business. Since he caused the universe to reboot, well, he can't seem to find his wife of two billion years. That's one great big oops. He also can't find the massive time ship Aramthella and her human crew. Double oops. And then there's the matter of not knowing whey why there are several copies of key people in the new reality he must navigate. Triple oops. He actually knows one whole heck of a lot less about his current situation than seems healthy. But he's Jon Ryan, former fighter pilot turned android warrior for humankind.
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Another hit
- By Tristin on 03-26-24
By: Craig Robertson
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The Remaining
- By: D. J. Molles
- Narrated by: Christian Rummel
- Length: 8 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In a steel-and-lead-encased bunker 20 feet below the basement level of his house, a soldier waits for his final orders. On the surface, a plague ravages the planet, infecting over 90% of the populace. The bacterium burrows through the brain, destroying all signs of humanity and leaving behind little more than base, prehistoric instincts. The infected turn into hyper-aggressive predators, with an insatiable desire to kill and feed. Someday soon, the soldier will have to open the hatch to his bunker, and step out into this new wasteland, to complete his mission....
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Die Hard Meets 28 Days Later
- By G Wallace on 01-10-14
By: D. J. Molles
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A Harvest of Ash and Blood
- By: D.J. Molles
- Narrated by: Theo Solomon
- Length: 17 hrs and 21 mins
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Trying to escape a lifetime of regrets—and outrun his own demons—veteran soldier Lochled Thatcher embarks on the Fourth Crusade to Leftland, a country rich in magic. Desperate to save her brothers, Rony joins Lochled’s squad only to discover that war is very different from all the songs and fancy speeches. As politics and power clash, Kayna, a Seeker, and Ord, a priest of the Church of Alchemy, find their foundations of loyalty and faith shaken and crumbling. In this theater of chaos, magic, and treachery, soldier and priest alike will find their humanity in as much danger as their lives.
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Good story not a great performance
- By wpattison on 07-26-24
By: D.J. Molles
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Breaking Gods
- Godbreaker, Book 1
- By: D. J. Molles
- Narrated by: Christian Rummel
- Length: 9 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In the beginning, the gods destroyed the world. Five hundred years later, things haven’t gotten much better for humans. The demigods that were left behind to guard over humanity have been using them as fodder for an endless civil war between themselves, and the humans just go on dutifully slaughtering each other, battle after battle. It’s not all bad, though. Perry McGown makes his living off those bloody, stinking battlefields. He works on a crew that reclaims all the spent shell casings. But if anyone found out that he was a deserter from the war, he’d be executed for heresy.
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-
Why does the author make it so hard to like the main character
- By Teressa Vanda on 10-02-19
By: D. J. Molles
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Harden
- Lee Harden, Book 1
- By: D. J. Molles
- Narrated by: Christian Rummel
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
It’s been three years since Lee Harden emerged from his bunker into a world gone mad. Governments have fallen. And new ones have taken their place. In the United Eastern States, Lee and his team of battle-hardened operatives walk a tightrope of survival, keeping their fledgling society safe from the creatures beyond their gates - and from the enemies within. Then, an ambush in hostile territory reveals a traitor in their midst - and leaves Lee barely clinging to life. Wounded and on the run, Lee and his team race to uncover the leak before it’s too late.
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Truly Exceptional
- By smb072 on 10-27-18
By: D. J. Molles
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The Santas
- By: D. J. Molles
- Narrated by: Adam Grupper
- Length: 5 hrs and 35 mins
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Overall
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Santa's helpers don't always dispose of bodies, but that's what Tucker Smith is doing right now. Specifically, the body of his own Santa - one of thousands worldwide - who was just murdered in an apparent random act of violence. Now, Tucker will have to somehow manage to deliver Christmas to his assigned region while he struggles to patch things up with his family, all while training the replacement sent to him by The Organization and trying to uncover the mystery of who killed Santa. And there's only five days left until Christmas.
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I liked it.
- By Anth0ny909 on 12-09-20
By: D. J. Molles
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Ryan in UnWonderland
- The Whales of Time, Book 1
- By: Craig Robertson
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello
- Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Jon Ryan has some unfinished business. Since he caused the universe to reboot, well, he can't seem to find his wife of two billion years. That's one great big oops. He also can't find the massive time ship Aramthella and her human crew. Double oops. And then there's the matter of not knowing whey why there are several copies of key people in the new reality he must navigate. Triple oops. He actually knows one whole heck of a lot less about his current situation than seems healthy. But he's Jon Ryan, former fighter pilot turned android warrior for humankind.
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Another hit
- By Tristin on 03-26-24
By: Craig Robertson
What listeners say about The Book of Dog: A Satire
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Gregory Stewart
- 02-25-24
Thought and emotion provoking
I had no expectations when I started this book but was sucked in immediately. This book brought out so many emotions and thoughts about my interactions with my beloved furry friends and my people interactions as well. It is a wonderful book which I hope you enjoy as much as I did.
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- Erin Pritchett
- 03-10-24
I couldn't stop listening!
As with all of D.J. Molles' books, this one was so well written and amazing, I just couldn't stop listening to it. I love all of the characters and the journey they go through, a few places had my eyes leaking, both from laughter and from emotions. Scott Aiello is an exceptional narrator, perfect for this book. This is a must buy, you will be pleased you did!
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- Cathy King
- 12-20-23
Wonderful
I loved this book. Mash is a very good dog just trying to do the right thing in a strange new world. When all the peoples left some dogs tried to be perfect to bring them back. Some dogs hid their pain by acting like the peoples never loved them anyway so they threw out all the rules! Mash was banished for not taking sides but he was trying to do The Right Thing.
Living in the woods, Sweetpea the opinionated cat became his best and only friend. Sweetpea knew that neither pack’s side had it right, too.
Mash sticks to his path, Sweetpea follows her path and the lessons they learn will make you laugh and cry. Sometimes all at once.
You need to see where their paths lead. It’s a wonderful tale! Is it too much to hope for a sequel?!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Johnathan Breeland
- 03-11-24
Funny and Heart warming
first off I can't believe that the guy that wrote the remaining Universe wrote this book but I'm so glad that he did it's a breath of fresh air to go from reading some of the dark books that I read to reading this that is just so funny and heartwarming this Guy knows how to write a book and get you invested after listening to this I don't think there's a book that he'll put out that I won't check out you will laugh you will cry and you will have a good time doing it read it
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- Scott M.
- 01-18-24
Great book everyone should listen
What a great story that the world needs to hear thanks DJ we need more people like you
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- Paul G. Peppers
- 01-04-24
The cat was funny.
I found the parts where the cat was lead character very funny. the narrator captured the essence of cat.
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- Zack
- 01-04-24
Fun and Heartwarming Tale of Cats and Dogs!
What happens when all the peoples disappear and dogs and cats are left to their own devices?
This book answers that question and then some!
Not gonna lie, this book hit me in the feels as many times as it made me laugh! Amazing change of pace by Molles and a fun, refreshing story to have in your library. Interesting human parallels and absolutely spot on species specific behavioral accuracy! Narration was perfection (Again, species specific accuracy at its finest).
A must have for dog and cat lovers alike!
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- Jarad
- 01-15-24
Damn!!!
What a story! Hilarious and much more emotional than I expected. I love the other series by Molles, but this is far different from his other styles. Great performance as well! Sweetpea was my favorite!
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- Anonymous User
- 02-15-24
Love it!
The story is amazing! It's so well told, I couldn't put it down. The narrator did the best job of narrating and portraying each character. So much so that I could distinguish who was speaking even without him saying who was speaking. All in all 10 out of 10!
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- joseph d orsini
- 02-08-24
Fun read
I love a book that makes you laugh out load, and this one did often.
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