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Boys & Sex
- Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent, and Navigating the New Masculinity
- Narrated by: Peggy Orenstein
- Length: 7 hrs and 28 mins
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Publisher's summary
The author of the groundbreaking New York Times best sellers Girls & Sex and Cinderella Ate My Daughter now turns her focus to the sexual lives of young men, once again offering "both an examination of sexual culture and a guide on how to improve it" (Washington Post).
Peggy Orenstein’s Girls & Sex broke ground, shattered taboos, and launched conversations about young women’s right to pleasure and agency in sexual encounters. It also had an unexpected effect on its author: Orenstein realized that talking about girls is only half the conversation. Boys are subject to the same cultural forces as girls - steeped in the same distorted media images and binary stereotypes of female sexiness and toxic masculinity - which equally affect how they navigate sexual and emotional relationships. In Boys & Sex, Peggy Orenstein dives back into the lives of young people to once again give voice to the unspoken, revealing how young men understand and negotiate the new rules of physical and emotional intimacy.
Drawing on comprehensive interviews with young men, psychologists, academics, and experts in the field, Boys & Sex dissects so-called locker room talk; how the word "hilarious" robs boys of empathy; pornography as the new sex education; boys’ understanding of hookup culture and consent; and their experience as both victims and perpetrators of sexual violence. By surfacing young men’s experience in all its complexity, Orenstein is able to unravel the hidden truths, hard lessons, and important realities of young male sexuality in today’s world. The result is a provocative and paradigm-shifting work that offers a much-needed vision of how boys can truly move forward as better men.
Supplemental enhancement PDF accompanies the audiobook.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
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Pink and pretty or predatory and hardened, sexualized girlhood influences our daughters from infancy onward, telling them that how a girl looks matters more than who she is. Somewhere between the exhilarating rise of Girl Power in the 1990s and today, the pursuit of physical perfection has been recast as a source - the source - of female empowerment. And commercialization has spread the message faster and farther, reaching girls at ever-younger ages.
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No solution just worry
- By Marie on 06-28-12
By: Peggy Orenstein
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Girls & Sex
- Navigating the Complicated New Landscape
- By: Peggy Orenstein
- Narrated by: Peggy Orenstein
- Length: 7 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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A generation gap has emerged between parents and their girls. Even in this age of helicopter parenting, the mothers and fathers of tomorrow's women have little idea what their daughters are up to sexually or how they feel about it. Drawing on in-depth interviews with over 70 young women and a wide range of psychologists, academics, and experts, renowned journalist Peggy Orenstein goes where most others fear to tread, pulling back the curtain on the hidden truths, hard lessons, and important possibilities of girls' sex lives in the modern world.
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Must read for anyone who has a daughter
- By Erin on 04-01-16
By: Peggy Orenstein
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Boyslut
- A Memoir and Manifesto
- By: Zachary Zane
- Narrated by: Zachary Zane
- Length: 6 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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A sex and relationship columnist bares it all in a series of essays—part memoir, part manifesto—that explore the author’s coming of age and coming out as a bisexual man and move toward embracing and celebrating sex unencumbered by shame.
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Great insight and information. Vain human.
- By Lauren B. on 07-27-23
By: Zachary Zane
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Magnificent Sex
- Lessons from Extraordinary Lovers
- By: Peggy J. Kleinplatz PhD, A. Dana Ménard PhD
- Narrated by: Holly Adams
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Magnificent Sex is based on the largest, in-depth interview study ever conducted with people who are having extraordinary sex. It gathers the nuggets for remarkable sex from the "experts", distilling them into an attainable blueprint for ordinary lovers who want to make erotic intimacy grow over the course of a lifetime.
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Narrators Take Note!!!
- By D. Belleau on 01-17-22
By: Peggy J. Kleinplatz PhD, and others
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Unraveling
- What I Learned About Life While Shearing Sheep, Dyeing Wool, and Making the World’s Ugliest Sweater
- By: Peggy Orenstein
- Narrated by: Peggy Orenstein
- Length: 5 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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The COVID pandemic propelled many people to change their lives in ways large and small. Some adopted puppies. Others stress-baked. Peggy Orenstein, a lifelong knitter, went just a little further. To keep herself engaged and cope with a series of seismic shifts in family life, she set out to make a garment from the ground up: learning to shear sheep, spin and dye yarn, then knitting herself a sweater.
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Nailed it!
- By Miss Effie on 02-19-23
By: Peggy Orenstein
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In Case You're Curious
- Questions About Sex from Young People with Answers from the Experts
- By: Planned Parenthood
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 4 hrs
- Unabridged
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Where can your average teen go to get all the reliable and accurate answers they need? In Case You're Curious, a text-and-answer program conceived by Planned Parenthood, has been providing this educational service for teens for years. And now In Case You're Curious is a big book of answers to the most popular and most interesting questions young people have about birth control, development, sexually transmitted diseases, and so much more.
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Cinderella Ate My Daughter
- Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture
- By: Peggy Orenstein
- Narrated by: Peggy Orenstein
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Pink and pretty or predatory and hardened, sexualized girlhood influences our daughters from infancy onward, telling them that how a girl looks matters more than who she is. Somewhere between the exhilarating rise of Girl Power in the 1990s and today, the pursuit of physical perfection has been recast as a source - the source - of female empowerment. And commercialization has spread the message faster and farther, reaching girls at ever-younger ages.
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No solution just worry
- By Marie on 06-28-12
By: Peggy Orenstein
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The Sex Talk You Never Got
- Reclaiming the Heart of Masculine Sexuality
- By: Sam Jolman, John Eldredge
- Narrated by: Sam Jolman, John Eldredge
- Length: 8 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Men today are starved for sexual formation. They've been failed by parents, churches, and culture alike, leading to widespread shame, confusion, and brokenness in the area of sexuality. In The Sex Talk You Never Got, therapist Sam Jolman helps men reconnect their God-given sexuality with innocence, awe, and joy, and shows listeners how to celebrate--instead of struggle against--the gift of sexual desire.
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Should be a must read for all engaged men and women
- By Amazon Customer on 08-23-24
By: Sam Jolman, and others
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The Teenage Brain
- A Neuroscientist's Survival Guide to Raising Adolescents and Young Adults
- By: Frances E. Jensen, Amy Ellis Nutt
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert, Frances E. Jensen
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Drawing on her research, knowledge, and clinical experience, internationally respected neurologist--and mother of two boys--Frances E. Jensen, MD, offers a revolutionary look at the adolescent brain, providing remarkable insights that translate into practical advice both for parents and teenagers.
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Preachy and Uninformative
- By endlessemma on 05-16-16
By: Frances E. Jensen, and others
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Of Boys and Men
- Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do About It
- By: Richard V. Reeves
- Narrated by: Richard V. Reeves
- Length: 6 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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The father of three sons, a journalist, and a Brookings Institution scholar, Richard V. Reeves has spent twenty-five years worrying about boys both at home and work. His new book, Of Boys and Men, tackles the complex and urgent crisis of boyhood and manhood. Reeves looks at the structural challenges that face boys and men and offers fresh and innovative solutions that turn the page on the corrosive narrative that plagues this issue. Of Boys and Men argues that helping the other half of society does not mean giving up on the ideal of gender equality.
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Regretful of My Knee-jerk Reaction To This Title 😔
- By Hazel Winters on 10-13-22
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Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen
- The Essential Conversations You Need to Have with Your Kids Before They Start High School
- By: Michelle Icard
- Narrated by: Michelle Icard
- Length: 10 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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The 14 essential conversations to have with your tween and early teenager to prepare them for the emotional, physical, and social challenges ahead, including scripts and advice to keep the communication going and stay connected during this critical developmental window.
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Critical race theory teachings
- By Mitch got ripped off on 06-10-21
By: Michelle Icard
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This Is So Awkward
- Modern Puberty Explained
- By: Cara Natterson MD, Vanessa Kroll Bennett
- Narrated by: Cara Natterson MD, Vanessa Kroll Bennett
- Length: 13 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Almost everything about puberty has changed since today's adults went through it. Bewildered adults have begged for reliable and relatable information about the modern adolescent experience. This Is So Awkward answers their call. Written by a pediatrician and a puberty educator—together the hosts of a lively and popular podcast on puberty, and moms to six teens between them—this is the handbook everyone has been searching for. Eye-opening and reassuring, This Is So Awkward will help adults understand the turbulent pubescent decade and become confident guides for today’s kids.
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Super helpful resource!
- By Brittany Brown Ceres on 02-29-24
By: Cara Natterson MD, and others
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How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk
- By: Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish
- Narrated by: Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish
- Length: 3 hrs and 18 mins
- Abridged
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Internationally acclaimed parenting experts Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish have helped millions of families with their breakthrough, best-selling books. Now, they return with a lively, down-to-earth guide that tackles the tough issues teens and parents face today. After years of research, lecturing, and feedback, Faber and Mazlish have developed an innovative approach to maintaining a candid, open, mutually respectful dialogue between parents and teens.
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Might be OK with different narrators
- By Roxanne on 02-14-08
By: Adele Faber, and others
What listeners say about Boys & Sex
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- L
- 01-12-20
A must-read for anyone who knows young men
In Boys & Sex, researcher Peggy Orenstein explores how toxic masculinity affects the sexual behavior of American Millenial and Gen Z boys. Her basic premise is that from an early age, male children in this demographic are taught to limit their emotional vocabulary, which only gets worse as they are exposed to media stereotypes, free internet porn, lack of sexual education at home and at school, and the unfulfilling expectation or reality of hookup culture, all of which combine to negatively impact their emotional and sexual literacy.
I identified with a lot of the anecdotal research in Boys & Sex. In particular, I like how the author explains that while the definition of womanhood has expanded to include many different types of women, men are still stuck with a 1950s ideal of male empowerment which basically consists of being stoic, dominant and emotionally inaccessible at all times (think Don Draper).
While I felt at times that Peggy Orenstein relied too much on her own assumptions and inherent biases when drawing conclusions about American boys, I would recommend this book, or at least the resources inside it, to everyone. It’s clearly targeted at parents with sons in high school and college but if you know any boys or young men, you will gain valuable insight into their lives and psyches from Boys & Sex. And no matter who you are, you will likely learn something about yourself too.
I really appreciate that rather than simply leaving the reader helpless to address the many factors influencing teen boys today - for example, the paywall hindering access to ethical, feminist porn and more broadly, ethical, feminist media in general - the author provides resources and tips for preventative and reformative measures. As a woman, I’m aware that I am disproportionally expected to provide emotional labor to men, but I was not familiar with research showing that young boys flat out do not express their feelings to other boys or men, meaning that women such as mothers or girlfriends are often their only confidantes. The author recommends that adults, especially father figures, talk to young boys about their feelings just as we would talk to young girls about theirs.
I also really liked the author’s ideas about restorative justice in cases of campus sexual assault (think the Aziz Ansari “Me Too” accusation), and her advice that parents should consistently emphasize the importance of sex as pleasure for everyone involved. As someone whose sexual education in school was only slightly more informative than the classic Mean Girls lines, “Don’t have sex. You will get pregnant and die,” and “If you touch each other, you will get chlamydia and die,” I feel that children and teenagers would benefit immensely from sexual education that touches on emotional as well as physical well-being. It seems incredibly novel that future generations of children and teens might be taught to touch themselves and others consensually for the purpose of pleasure, without the pressure and miscommunication that hinders my generation’s sexuality.
Overall, I would recommend this book to anyone. I would have appreciated more research regarding different demographics of boys and men but I learned a lot from this book and I’m sure I will consult it regularly.
The author did a good job narrating.
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6 people found this helpful
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- Scott Somers
- 01-18-20
I love her message
This view of human nature is incredible. The message is that education is the answer. Our children do not have enough information about relationships and sexuality. However, there were times when I listened that I didn't feel any acknowledgement to the nature of human competition, where males and females challenge one another to understand if mating is right. But the idea of communication, no matter the circumstances is the absolute key. Also, kids need to know to moderate themselves with drugs and alcohol.. Parents need to teach this instead of requiring abstinence. -Father of 4
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- Mr. P
- 11-13-23
An incredible book
I so appreciate the deep research, reflection, and care that went into to this book. I’ve returned to it multiple times and it has genuinely influenced my thinking and parenting.
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- Carol
- 03-10-20
Critical insight for parents, boys - everyone!
I had a gut feeling we need to be talking more to our son about sex, respect, consent etc. but did not know what to say beyond "you should wait but if you don't use protection and get consent." There is so much more to it than that. Reading this book, in which the author quotes frequently directly from her interviews with boys age 16-22 of varying gender identities, gender preferences and races, helps one understand, from many different perspectives, how boys see and experience the complicated world of hooking up, dating, desire and sex. Respect for girls - and an unfortunate, rampant lack thereof - is a recurring theme and clearly a problem that needs to be addressed. I think this may be the fastest I've ever read a non-fiction book. I have just the last chapter left = "Deep Breath: Talking about Sex." Hopefully that will help guide us through a lot more talking, though I also am hoping to get my son listen to the book.
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- Tawny Lara
- 03-17-21
Important, nuanced conversation.
This book gives me hope for the future of boys and men. Orenstein dedicated an entire chapter to trans masculinity and sex which offers a modern, nuanced take to the Boys & Sex conversation. She also explores the role alcohol plays in sexual assault, coercion, consent, and the pursuit of pleasure.
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Every parent needs to read this.
I am a mom of 5 boys. This was exactly what I need to learn about so I can raise and guide my boys into adulthood .
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- Stephen M Yturralde II
- 01-31-20
A fantastic and balanced take on Boys Sexuality
I wish I'd had this book growing up. Simply to know that other guys were thinking, feeling and doing similar things as we grew into our sexuality.
This book is a wonderful and non judgemental exploration of the reality of sex for young men today!
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- the convenient
- 01-21-20
Neccesary for us boys and men
This book hits home so hard. It felt like an epiphany moment for the male experience growing up and even now at almost 30. This is basically the first chance to see the forest away from the trees of masculinity. This is exactly what I, and I'm sure others, needed for personal growth.
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- Beth O
- 08-08-22
Incredibly interesting critical for parents of boys
Amazing book detailing what we need to know for our sons to become emotionally and physically responsible men. How to guide them into adulthood.
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- Laura
- 01-23-22
A must read for all adults - parents, guardians, coaches, teachers etc!
This is a must read for any adult. Whether we are a parent or coach or just an adult on in the world, we have a responsibility for leadership to our children and young adults. Ms Orenstein presents real life examples of how to get through the sometimes awkward conversations and why it’s absolutely essential that we do!
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