Get out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
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Get out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
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Narrated by:
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Mark Goulston
About this listen
Practical, proven self-help steps show how to transform 40 common self-defeating behaviors, including procrastination, envy, obsession, anger, self-pity, compulsion, neediness, guilt, rebellion, inaction, and more.
©1996 Mark Goulston and Philip Goldberg (P)2018 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Bonds That Make Us Free
- Healing Our Relationships, Coming to Ourselves
- By: C. Terry Warner
- Narrated by: C. Terry Warner
- Length: 10 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 330
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 277
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 274
Bonds That Make Us Free is a groundbreaking book that suggests the remedy for our troubling emotions by addressing their root causes. You'll learn how, in ways we scarcely suspect, we are responsible for feelings like anger, envy, and insecurity that we have blamed on others. Even though we fear to admit this, it is good news. If we produce these emotions, it falls within our power to stop them. But we have to understand our part in them far better than we do, and that is what this remarkable book teaches.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Helped save our marriage.
- By Kevin Gray on 02-15-19
By: C. Terry Warner
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The Good Karma Divorce
- Avoid Litigation, Turn Negative Emotions into Positive Actions, and Get On with the Rest of Your Life
- By: Judge Michele F. Lowrance
- Narrated by: Judge Michele F. Lowrance
- Length: 4 hrs and 20 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 57
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 37
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 36
The average divorce takes two years with a median cost of $30,000. Yet the true cost of divorce is more than time or money; it is the legacy of the decisions made during the process. No matter how long two people have been married, whether there are children or not, divorce often leads to bad choices that can forever alter a family's life. But what if you could reverse the stereotype and move regret-free through this process?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Thanks for the great advice!
- By Tom Clemente on 11-09-16
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Codependent No More
- How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
- By: Melody Beattie
- Narrated by: Melody Beattie
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,111
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 970
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 967
Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to a loved one’s self-destructive behavior, you may be codependent—and you may find yourself in this book. With personal reflections, exercises, and instructive stories drawn from Beattie’s own life and the lives of those she’s counseled, Codependent No More helps you break old patterns and maintain healthy boundaries, and offers a clear and achievable path to healing, hope, freedom, and happiness.
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2 out of 5 stars
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great book with unbearable reader
- By Nielah on 09-01-22
By: Melody Beattie
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How Can I Forgive You?
- The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To
- By: Janis A. Spring, Michael Spring
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 95
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 80
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 80
Until now, we have been taught that forgiveness is good for us and that good people forgive. Dr. Spring, a gifted therapist and the award-winning author of After the Affair, proposes a radical, life-affirming alternative that lets us overcome the corrosive effects of hate and get on with our lives - without forgiving. She also offers a powerful and unconventional model for genuine forgiveness - one that asks as much of the offender as it does of us.
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3 out of 5 stars
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I'm a Christian
- By jelady on 06-14-19
By: Janis A. Spring, and others
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Toxic Parents
- Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
- By: Craig Buck, Susan Forward
- Narrated by: Jo Anna Perrin
- Length: 10 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 771
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 648
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 642
In this remarkable self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward draws on case histories and the real-life voices of adult children of toxic parents to help you free yourself from the frustrating patterns of your relationship with your parents---and discover a new world of self-confidence, inner strength, and emotional independence.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Its worth a listen.
- By Amanda on 08-20-12
By: Craig Buck, and others
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Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents
- Practical Tools to Establish Boundaries and Reclaim Your Emotional Autonomy
- By: Lindsay C. Gibson PsyD
- Narrated by: Suzie Althens
- Length: 7 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 579
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 487
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 483
In this important sequel to Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, author Lindsay Gibson offers powerful tools to help you step back and protect yourself at the first sign of an emotional takeover, make sure your emotions and needs are respected, and break free from the coercive control of emotionally immature parents.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Asinine
- By Amazon Customer on 07-14-20
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Anger Management Workbook for Men
- Take Control of Your Anger and Master Your Emotions
- By: Aaron Karmin MA
- Narrated by: Brett Barry
- Length: 3 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 202
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 174
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 171
Clinical therapist Aaron Karmin teaches you the skills to manage your anger without aggression and build up your self-confidence, self-control, and self-respect. The Anger Management Workbook for Men goes beyond why men get angry and helps you get to the root of your anger. It gives you positive and productive anger management tools to strengthen the most important and most overlooked relationship in your life - your relationship with yourself.
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1 out of 5 stars
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just not good at all.
- By brian gregory on 06-02-22
By: Aaron Karmin MA
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12 Smart Things to Do When the Booze and Drugs Are Gone
- Choosing Emotional Sobriety Through Self-Awareness and Right Action
- By: Allen Berger PhD
- Narrated by: Matthew Boston
- Length: 5 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 32
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 25
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 25
Allen Berger, PhD, draws on the teachings of Bill W. and psychotherapy pioneers to offer 12 hallmarks of emotional sobriety that, when practiced, give people the confidence to be accountable for their behavior, ask for what they want and need, and grow and develop a deeper trust in the process of life. These smart things include: understanding who you are and what's important to you; learning not to take others' reactions personally; trusting your inner compass; and taking responsibility for your reactions to problematic situations.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Rich exploration and application of ES principles
- By rdkemper on 08-12-23
By: Allen Berger PhD
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10 Stupid Things Couples Do To Mess Up Their Relationships
- By: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
- Narrated by: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
- Length: 2 hrs and 37 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 200
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 129
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 125
In Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships, Dr. Laura Schlessinger calls for a return to traditional courtship. Courtship allows couples and their families to get acquainted with each other over a longer period of time, and provides structure and guidelines for that important process.
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5 out of 5 stars
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No brainer ideas that we can forget
- By Ali0531 on 07-06-15
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Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That?
- Encouragement for Women Involved with Angry and Controlling Men
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Gary Galone
- Length: 11 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 138
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 117
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 117
Like a constant friend, this collection of meditations is a source of strength and reassurance designed to speak to women like you, women in relationships with angry and controlling men. It helps you to digest what is happening a piece at a time, so you can gain clarity, safety, and freedom.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Just what I needed.
- By lori Goodson on 11-07-15
By: Lundy Bancroft
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Should I Stay or Should I Go?
- A Guide to Knowing If Your Relationship Can - and Should - Be Saved
- By: Lundy Bancroft, JAC Patrissi
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 13 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 276
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 234
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 233
In this supportive and straightforward guide, Lundy Bancroft, the author of Why Does He Do That?, and communication specialist JAC Patrissi offer a way for women to practically take stock of their relationships and move forward, with or without their partners.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Paradigm Shift
- By Sydnee Adams-Hancock on 04-08-16
By: Lundy Bancroft, and others
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Break Through
- When to Give In, How to Push Back
- By: Tim Clinton, Pat Springle
- Narrated by: Christopher Prince
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 29
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 22
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 22
When you really care about someone, it’s easy to get stuck in painful, even destructive patterns - caving in to a spouse’s manipulation, ignoring a live-at-home son’s irresponsibility, not confronting a friend’s addiction. We excuse people again and again, and then kick ourselves for not setting better boundaries. But this important audiobook, with its transformational tools from leading Christian counselor Tim Clinton and noted author Pat Springle, will guide you in not only breaking through to better relationships but making big changes for the better.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Worth the read
- By Jessie on 12-29-19
By: Tim Clinton, and others
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Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart
- 30 True Things You Need to Know Now
- By: Gordon Livingston
- Narrated by: James Jenner
- Length: 4 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 530
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 303
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 305
Full of things we may know but have not articulated to ourselves, Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart is a gentle and generous alternative to the trial-and-error learning that makes wisdom such an expensive commodity. For everyone who feels a sense of urgency that the clock ticks and still we aren't the person we'd like to be, it offers solace, guidance, and hope.
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4 out of 5 stars
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This guy is a straight shooter
- By Julia on 11-13-05
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Self-Esteem
- A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem
- By: Matthew McKay PhD, Patrick Fanning
- Narrated by: Gillian Vance
- Length: 13 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 51
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 35
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 35
The much-anticipated fourth edition of the best-selling classic by Matthew McKay, Self-Esteem is the go-to guide for those seeking to increase their sense of self-worth. This fully revised new edition features an innovative application of acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) to self-esteem and utilizes updated cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help listeners create positive change and thrive.
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1 out of 5 stars
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for professionals only
- By Sharon B on 01-12-21
By: Matthew McKay PhD, and others
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The Emotional Edge
- Discover Your Inner Age, Ignite Your Hidden Strengths, and Reroute Misdirected Fear to Live Your Fullest
- By: Crystal Andrus Morissette
- Narrated by: Andi Arndt
- Length: 9 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 23
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 19
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 18
The Emotional Edge is an exciting expansion of Crystal's successful brand - she has tackled weight management, confidence building, and spiritual growth; now she combines all that and more into her most powerful program yet. The Emotional Edge is a guide for letting go of the past and embracing a more empowered future. This audiobook is spiritual self-help designed to teach listeners how to overcome behavioral ruts and engage the world from a happier, more empowered place.
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5 out of 5 stars
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the world needs more of this.
- By Amber Jessop on 11-25-17
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The Journey of the Heroic Parent
- Your Child's Struggle & The Road Home
- By: Brad M. Reedy Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 201
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 169
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 169
When a child is hurting, it can be the most painful challenge a parent will face. With compassion and perspective, Dr. Brad Reedy offers hope and wisdom for children who struggle and the parents who love them. The Journey of the Heroic Parent will take you on a journey to a happier, healthier relationship with your struggling child - and yourself. Through lessons learned, mother, father, and child will achieve greater understanding, love, and humanity - no matter what the outcome.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Loved it! Will read over again and again!
- By wooplicity on 06-21-15
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2 out of 5 stars
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5 out of 5 stars
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Excellent Book!
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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Master Your Brain and Emotions to Overcome Anxiety, Depression and Negative Thoughts
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10 out of 10
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We oftentimes look towards the outside world to find the roots of our problems. However, most of the times, we should be looking inwards. Our mind and our emotions determine our state of being in the present moment. If those aspects are left unchecked, we can get easily overwhelmed and are left feeling unfulfilled every single day.
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Scarcity isn't just one of the key principles of influence, it's arguably the most powerful—invoking the kind of primal instincts that were essential to our ancestors' survival. It's also the explanation for why, in the mid-1990's, $29.99 Tickle-Me-Elmo dolls were being scalped for $7,000 apiece. In The Power of Scarcity, Dr. Mindy Weinstein leverages her deep expertise in both marketing and psychology to reveal how this influence principle can be used to boost sales, win negotiations, spark action, develop community, build customer loyalty, and more.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Modern day marketing explained!!!
- By Greg Welch on 12-05-24
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Start Now. Get Perfect Later.
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Hardly anyone gets it right the first time, but many of us are crippled by indecision and fear of failure. The desire to get it right can inhibit us from getting started. In this book Rob Moore, the best-selling author of Money, shows that the quickest way to perfect is starting right now and improving as you go. This book will show you how to launch your business or idea, begin the next phase of your career and overcome self-doubt - right away. Get perfect later; get started now.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Awesome book!
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The middle effect where most people quit on their goals.
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Are your thoughts holding you captive? I’ll never be good enough. Other people have better lives than I do. God couldn’t really love me. Jennie Allen knows what it’s like to swirl in a spiral of destructive thoughts, but she also knows we don’t have to stay stuck in toxic thinking patterns. As she discovered in her own life, God built a way for us to escape that downward spiral. Freedom comes when we refuse to be victims to our thoughts and realize we have already been equipped with power from God to fight and win the war for our minds.
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1 out of 5 stars
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So so
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Real Influence
- Persuade Without Pushing and Gain Without Giving In
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 23
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Authentic influence is about more than creating a strong initial connection - it's about sustaining professional relationships long after an agreement has been reached. Based on their commitment to listening, genuine engagement, and the pursuit of win-win outcomes, authors Mark Goulston and John Ullmen share a new method that business leaders can use to examine priorities, learn about the needs of key players, earn others' attention, motivate others to hear more, and add value with question and actions.
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5 out of 5 stars
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great teaching points
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By: Dr. John Ullmen, and others
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Self Sabotage No More
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 38
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After two decades of personal experience, study, and client work, she is finally releasing her knowledge, wisdom, and practices into a short, powerful book to help people get out of their own way once and for all. Self Sabotage No More are the mindsets and methods that Jennie’s been sharing and using with clients to great success and transformational results.
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5 out of 5 stars
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This book is changing many lifes
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Be the Lion
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- By: Tim Castle
- Narrated by: Garrett Goodison
- Length: 14 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 14
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 11
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 11
As an ambitious person, I inevitably have a lot on my plate. In just two years, I went through pretty much every life change you can imagine. I planned our wedding, got married, moved jobs, moved countries, wrote and published a book, completed an MBA, became a father to my baby son, and then coped with his sudden serious illness, all whilst working full time. I had to be the lion. I created new habits and thought patterns, and reconnected with my purpose to get sh*t done. I became stronger, a master of time management, productivity, and motivation. As a result my goals got closer.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I will step into the unknown
- By Anonymous User on 04-07-20
By: Tim Castle
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I Know What to Do So Why Don't I Do It? (Second Edition)
- Mind Your Emotions to End Procrastination and Achieve All Your Goals
- By: Nick Hall PhD
- Narrated by: Dan Strutzel
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 1
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Performance3 out of 5 stars 1
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1
Life becomes complicated when you realize that the motivation to start or delay a task is a tug-of-war between positive and negative emotions. Don’t blame lack of willpower, laziness, or low motivation if you aren’t achieving your goals. Motivation is not a skill. Like a muscle, it’s subject to fatigue when stretched. That’s why fascinating research in the field of psychoneuroimmunology has revealed another reason you may feel paralyzed to take action—one with the potential to dramatically transform your life.
By: Nick Hall PhD
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Emotional Intelligence: The Essential Guide to Improving Your Social Skills, Relationships and Boosting Your EQ
- Emotional Intelligence EQ, Book 1
- By: David Clark
- Narrated by: Sam Slydell
- Length: 1 hr and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 203
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 166
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 163
According to research, Emotional Intelligence (EQ) or quotient is far more important than ones intelligence quotient or technical abilities when it comes to determining a person’s overall success in life. Emotional intelligence directly impacts the way we formulate personal decisions, the way we mange behavior, and our ability to maneuver through social complexities. It is something that everybody is able to develop with time. This guide will provide all the essential knowledge needed to improve your EQ.
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5 out of 5 stars
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LOVED the majority of this book!
- By Tiffany Young on 10-10-20
By: David Clark
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Unfu*k Yourself
- Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life
- By: Gary John Bishop
- Narrated by: Gary John Bishop
- Length: 3 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 86,500
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 73,308
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 72,588
Are you tired of feeling f*cked up? If you are, Gary John Bishop has the answer. In this straightforward handbook, he gives you the tools and advice you need to demolish the slag weighing you down and become the truly unf--ked version of yourself. "Wake up to the miracle you are," he directs. "Here's what you've forgotten: You're a f--king miracle of being." It isn't other people that are standing in your way; it isn't even your circumstances that are blocking your ability to thrive. It's yourself and the negative self-talk you keep telling yourself.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Now I'm F'd for sure!
- By Kerry Strong on 08-24-17
By: Gary John Bishop
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Talking with Confidence for the Painfully Shy
- How to Overcome Nervousness, Speak-Up, and Speak Out in Any Social or Business Situation
- By: Don Gabor
- Narrated by: Don Gabor
- Length: 1 hr and 29 mins
- Abridged
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Overall3 out of 5 stars 19
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Performance3.5 out of 5 stars 12
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Story3 out of 5 stars 12
As much about "speaking in public" as it is about "public speaking, Talking with Confidence for the Painfully Shy can help even the most shy person speak up and speak out in any business or social situation.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Talking with Confidence for the Painfully Shy
- By Giulia on 02-26-08
By: Don Gabor
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Get the F*ck Out Your Own Way
- A Guide to Letting Go of the Sh*t That's Holding You Back
- By: MJ Harris
- Narrated by: MJ Harris
- Length: 7 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 130
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 123
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Story5 out of 5 stars 123
MJ Harris has got a lot of “best friends”. His hilarious, straightforward, raw advice has made him the go-to person across social media for everything you need to know about getting your s--t together. MJ knows you need help—but because you never learned how to properly handle the hurt and anger you’ve experienced in the past, it has become the emotional trash in the way of living your best life. Don’t nobody want that! Whether it’s fixing your family issues, relationships, situationships, money, or frenemies, MJ offers sage advice about how to stop blocking yourself from bigger and better.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Enlightening
- By Anonymous User on 05-20-24
By: MJ Harris
What listeners say about Get out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
Highly rated for:
Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Robert Thomas
- 01-03-21
Good Advice Given in an Understandable Format
This book contains significant advice and direction for a variety of self-defeating behaviors. It is easy to listen to although it is somewhat clinical or theoretical in nature. I would recommend it and found it helpful but it is not necessarily an easy, flowing book to read.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Kristi Judie
- 09-14-21
Absolutely wonderful
Thank you Mark for sharing your insight on life! I’m definitely going to be implementing your techniques, skills, and strategies. Wonderful book
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- debi
- 09-23-19
life changing
A very entertaining listen. Every moment had wisdom to impart. I'm making changes in my behavior. Then I'll listen again.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Kristal LaPorta
- 12-03-18
Intelligent
Powerful and insightful. Accurate, with a deep understanding of human nature. The stories and overall book are very easy to follow.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Jessica L. Graves
- 12-20-22
Helpful takeaways for life
I enjoyed listening to this book and felt that there were helpful takeaways from each chapter. While I typically enjoyed hearing the author, narrate the story in the genre, the narration could’ve been a bit more lively and engaging.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 03-02-19
Powerful
I never knew so much of my behaviors were based on situations I encountered as a child and inadvertently carried over to adulthood.
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14 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Calcifer kingsbury
- 04-07-20
Awareness Creator!!!
This book is absolutely incredible. it helps you delve deeper into WHY you react to things the way you do and where the root is. It helps you recognize areas in your life you didn't pay attention to. one of my favorite things is how it mentions that sometimes we need to be the parents our parents never had.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 03-31-20
Very helpful information on dealing with people
Information was clear and concise, examples were helpful, and pointing out things to remember was great for notes
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Scott B.
- 08-21-24
insightful
With so many self defeating actions in life, many insightful actions are presented. Well worth a read (listen) and a re-read.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- MindfulCreator
- 02-02-19
Another Insightful and Practical Masterpiece of Dr. Goulston
What I appreciate about Dr. Goulston’s books is his not only sharing valuable and insightful information, but putting his heart in his words. As an author, Dr. Goulston truly cares about the reader and does this best to give them all they need to change their own lives and help others to change their lives for better. Dr. Goulston even included specific action steps to made it easier for the reader. If you are an action taker, you can’t fail following the practical advice in this book.
Wishing you success in implementing what you learn from Dr. Goulston!
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2 people found this helpful