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More Bedtime Stories for Cynics
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman, Patrick Stewart, Alia Shawkat, Elliot Page, Jane Lynch, John Waters, Anjelica Huston, Wendell Pierce, Mike Birbiglia, Rachel Dratch, Matt Walsh, Nicole Byer, Harry Goaz, Aisling Bea, Gary Anthony Williams
- Length: 3 hrs and 25 mins
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Publisher's summary
2020 Audie Award, Humor
Nick Offerman and his posse of high-profile guests present this series of 12 short stories written in the style of classic kid’s tales, but with a decidedly adult approach.
If children's literature is any guide, we should all be able to magically fall asleep simply by saying goodnight to the things we can see from our beds. But any adult knows that our work anxieties and shameful memories would rather stay up all night and chat. That’s where Offerman and Co. come in—with clever and occasionally downright dark parodies of the classic kids genre. What really happened after Snow White died, from the perspective of the one medically trained dwarf? A naive wizard professor reports back from the trenches of an underprivileged school of magic. A middle-aged man is haunted by the voices of his own aging body. The stories will make you laugh, cry and probably squirm a little.
Performers include: Patrick Stewart, Alia Shawkat, Jane Lynch, Aparna Nancherla, Harry Goaz, Mike Birbiglia, Ellen Page, Rachel Dratch, Gary Anthony Williams, Nicole Byer, and Matt Walsh.
Please note that this audiobook contains explicit content.
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Our favorite moments from More Bedtime Stories for Cynics
About the Host
Best known as the indomitable Ron Swanson in the popular NBC television series Parks and Recreation, Nick Offerman is an uncommon quadruple threat: carpenter, comedian, actor, and author. Offerman first hit the New York Times bestseller list with the release of his semi-autobiographical work Paddle Your Own Canoe: One Man’s Fundamentals for Delicious Living, and followed it up with the best-selling Gumption: Relighting the Torch of Freedom with America’s Gutsiest Troublemakers and Good Clean Fun: Misadventures in Sawdust at Offerman Woodshop. Offerman co-wrote and co-narrated the Audie Award winning audiobook The Greatest Love Story Ever Told: An Oral History with his wife Megan Mullally. Currently he keeps busy producing and hosting a lighthearted crafting competition, Making It, alongside Amy Poehler for NBC.
About the Performer
Patrick Stewart is one of the most acclaimed performers working today, with numerous and varied roles on both the stage and screens big and small. He has been awarded multiple Golden Globe, Screen Actors Guild, Emmy, and Tony nominations for his work. Stewart was nominated for a Critics’ Choice Award for his performance in James Mangold’s Logan opposite Hugh Jackman. In addition to starring on the Starz comedy Blunt Talk as lead actor Walter Blunt, he also starred opposite Anton Yelchin in Jeremy Saulnier’s genre film Green Room which went to the Cannes Film Festival and Toronto International Film Festival. On Broadway and West End stages, Patrick has also appeared in A Life in the Theatre, The Master Builder, The Ride Down Mt. Morgan, and The Tempest. For his acclaimed solo production of A Christmas Carol, Stewart played over 40 characters, garnering an Olivier, Drama Desk, and WhatsOnStage Award.
About the Performer
Academy Award-winning actress and director Anjelica Huston continues her renowned family’s legacy in film. Throughout her career, Huston has received a Best Supporting Actress Oscar for her role as Maerose Prizzi in the black comedy Prizzi’s Honor, in which she starred opposite Jack Nicholson and Kathleen Turner. In 2005, Huston received a Golden Globe Award for her role in HBO’s original movie Iron Jawed Angels, in which she starred opposite Hilary Swank and Julia Ormond. Her directorial debut was an unflinching adaptation of Dorothy Allison’s best-selling memoir, Bastard Out of Carolina, which garnered Huston critical acclaim. She received an Emmy Award nomination for her work on the controversial drama, as well as a Directors Guild Award nomination. Huston is also a New York Times best-selling author. Her memoir A Story Lately Told: Coming of Age in Ireland, London, and New York was published in November 2013.
About the Performer
Aparna started out doing comedy in her hometown of Washington DC and now resides in New York City. She is a series regular in Comedy Central’s Corporate and has reprised her role of Anaya in season 3 of HBO’s Crashing. Aparna is also featured in the second season of Netflix’s The Standups. Other television credits include Netflix’s Master of None and Love, HBO’s High Maintenance, Comedy Central’s Inside Amy Schumer, and Hulu’s I Love You, America with Sarah Silverman. In 2018 she made her feature debut in the Paul Feig movie A Simple Favor. Aparna has been featured on and in NPR, Reader’s Digest, The Huffington Post, The Washington Post Magazine, XM Radio, and Slate V. She can regularly be seen performing at the Upright Citizen’s Brigade’s in LA and NYC. Her debut album Just Putting It Out There was released in July 2016 by Tig Notaro’s label Bentzen Ball Records and hit #4 on the Billboard Comedy Charts. Her TV writing credits include Late Night with Seth Meyers as well as being a regular correspondent/writer on FX’s Totally Biased with W. Kamau Bell.
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Alia Shawkat stars in the Jax Media produced TBS series Search Party which she also produces. She can be seen in Comedy Central’s Broad City, HBO’s Getting On, Amazon's Transparent, and in her best known role as Maeby Fünke in the cult series Arrested Development. Shawkat also starred in Sophie Hyde’s Animals opposite Holliday Grainger which premiered at the Sundance Film Festival. She can be seen in Ethan Hawke’s film Blaze, in the thriller Green Room, and in the Paul Reubens and Judd Apatow Netflix feature Pee-wee’s Big Holiday. Alia's other feature credits include Paint It Black, Nasty Baby, Wild Canaries, Night Moves, The To Do List, The Final Girls, Me Him Her, The Driftless Area, 20th Century Women, and Izzy Gets the F Across Town. Shawkat also lent her voice to the Gimlet scripted podcast Sandra
opposite Kristen Wiig and Ethan Hawke. In addition to acting, Alia is a talented jazz singer, pianist, and an accomplished painter and illustrator.
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Yellow Face
- A Semi-autobiographical Comedy
- By: David Henry Hwang
- Narrated by: Daniel Dae Kim (CK), Ashley Park, Wendell Pierce, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 44 mins
- Original Recording
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Winner of an Obie and a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize, and directed by Tony nominee Leigh Silverman, Yellow Face is as timely as ever, wrestling with issues of cultural appropriation, complicity, and artistic freedom. It’s brought to life in this audio-only revival by a stunning all-star cast (many playing themselves) led by Daniel Dae Kim.
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Funny, great audible performance, and good dialogue.
- By Ed the Canadian on 05-04-24
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Hot White Heist 2
- By: Adam Goldman
- Narrated by: Bowen Yang, Jane Lynch, Cynthia Nixon, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 38 mins
- Original Recording
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Two years after successfully melting down the top secret sperm bank under the Space Needle, the CLITO collective (Community of Lesbians Inclusive To Others) is thriving on their newly acquired private island, Lesbos 2. All is well in their queer utopia. Or is it? Investigative reporter Sarah Keebler (Sarah Steele) is piecing together the crew's previous heist for her bombshell true-crime podcast–and getting dangerously close to the truth.
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AS FUN AS SEASON1
- By Robert on 03-07-24
By: Adam Goldman
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Slaughterhouse-Five
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: James Franco
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
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Don't Quit Your Daytime Job, James
- By Keith on 11-20-15
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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Heads Will Roll
- By: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrated by: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
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More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
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Green Wing: Resuscitated
- By: Victoria Pile, James Henry, Oriane Messina, and others
- Narrated by: Oliver Chris, Olivia Colman, Pippa Haywood, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 17 mins
- Original Recording
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They’re back! The all-star cast multi-award-winning cult hit comedy returns, with more surreal goings-on in the lives and loves of the doctors and staff at East Hampton Hospital (warning: contains very little medical content).
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Wonderful to hear these voices again
- By LucilleB on 05-03-24
By: Victoria Pile, and others
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Cut and Thirst
- A Short Story
- By: Margaret Atwood
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 1 hr and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Myrna, Leonie, and Chrissy meet every Thursday to sample fine cheeses, to reminisce about their former lives as professors, and lately, to muse about murder. Decades ago, a vicious cabal of male poets contrived—quite publicly and successfully—to undermine the writing career, confidence, and health of their dear friend Fern. Now, after Fern has taken a turn for the worse, her three old friends decide that it’s finally time to strike back—in secret, of course, since Fern is far too gentle to approve of a vendetta.
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Oof.
- By D on 05-09-24
By: Margaret Atwood
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Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
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They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
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I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
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The Heron
- By: Don Winslow
- Narrated by: Ed Harris
- Length: 1 hr and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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“The Heron” is the nickname a big-city accountant has attached to himself in his new home near San Diego, where he’s using the alias to avoid a hit man who may be after him. It seems a former client believes that The Heron has skipped town with several million dollars not his own. Don Winslow’s ensuing, entertaining yarn is by turns twisty, dark, and comical as we observe the delicate dance between the pursuer and the pursued.
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Awfully long middle for such a short story
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 07-29-22
By: Don Winslow
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French & Saunders Titting About (Series 5)
- By: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders
- Narrated by: Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders
- Length: 3 hrs and 1 min
- Original Recording
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Once again, the legendary comedy duo unearth six vitally important subjects... and then tit about about them. From surviving on a desert island to being eaten by a cardboard crocodile, Dawn and Jennifer will entertain, inform and thoroughly tit about for your pleasure. (Batteries not included.)
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Chuckles with “Titting About”
- By Robin Johnston on 05-04-24
By: Dawn French, and others
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Brackish Waters
- By: Matt Boren
- Narrated by: Christina Applegate
- Length: 1 hr and 55 mins
- Original Recording
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When Kate wins an item at her children’s elementary school auction - an all-inclusive trip to SeaView at Sandpiper Bay - she thinks it’s just what her family needs after a decade of career disappointments and a marriage on its last legs. She has no reason to believe that said trip is a Fyre Festival-level fraud and, in fact, the catalyst to her unraveling. But it is. Oh, but it is.
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Christina Applegate is everything
- By Julie on 03-21-21
By: Matt Boren
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A woodworking audiobook *yawn*
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What’s in a name? A lot. The name Tinaca, for example, has been passed down in the Jones family for generations of women. In fact, the Joneses name a Tinaca every other generation, to let the name breathe a little. To let each Tinaca shine. And shine is exactly what Tinaca Jones intends to do.
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OMG MAKE IT STOP
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In Nick Offerman's view, we as a country can be doing a better job when it comes to decency. While most of the country has spent the last few years fighting about everything from politics to the existence of science, there are some things we can all agree about, like that we only really need one flavor of Oreo cookies. And that despite all the challenges we're currently facing, America can get it together if we can, simply, rise above it all, and admit that a lot what we're fighting about is actually pretty stupid, especially when told in Nick's signature comedic voice.
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Thank you The Daily Show!
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The Man on the Mountaintop tells the story of Holy Man Joe, an ageing and unassuming man who lives in a hermitage on top of a mountain. During the summer months, thousands of hopefuls line the path leading to his door, seeking his wisdom. From bombastic, wealthy nobles intent on cheating their way to the top to drunkards who gradually build the physical and mental strength they need to quit their addiction, The Man on the Mountaintop is a rousing tale full of humour, wit and life lessons.
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Great listen!
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Samantha is a professional seductress and con artist with a heart of gold. If she talked about her work, she’d tell you she only pilfers organs for medical research and that she only takes one kidney, and she only steals those kidneys from dishonest people. It’s hell on her social life. Abe is the doctor and Sam's partner in crime. He isn’t much of a criminal. Except for the kidney stealing. But he’s using that money to fund his research that he anticipates will be able to cure diabetes. So, all for a good cause...? You decide. Of course, it's hell on his social life.
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Dumb and funny
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Are the kids asleep? Yes? Good. This one isn’t for them. Now, if your weary, grown-up mind has been searching for a snarkier alternative to your favorite childhood tales, this Audible Original, hosted by Nick Offerman (Parks & Recreation), will scratch that itch - and then some. Enjoy a hilarious collection of short stories, featuring performances from the likes of Tommy Chong (Cheech & Chong), Tony Hale (Veep), Patton Oswalt (The Goldbergs), and David Spade (Saturday Night Live).
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A woodworking audiobook *yawn*
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What’s in a name? A lot. The name Tinaca, for example, has been passed down in the Jones family for generations of women. In fact, the Joneses name a Tinaca every other generation, to let the name breathe a little. To let each Tinaca shine. And shine is exactly what Tinaca Jones intends to do.
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OMG MAKE IT STOP
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By: Matt Boren
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All Rise
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In Nick Offerman's view, we as a country can be doing a better job when it comes to decency. While most of the country has spent the last few years fighting about everything from politics to the existence of science, there are some things we can all agree about, like that we only really need one flavor of Oreo cookies. And that despite all the challenges we're currently facing, America can get it together if we can, simply, rise above it all, and admit that a lot what we're fighting about is actually pretty stupid, especially when told in Nick's signature comedic voice.
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Thank you The Daily Show!
- By Corbet on 10-16-20
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The star of Parks and Recreation and author of the New York Times best seller Paddle Your Own Canoe returns with a second book that humorously highlights 21 figures from our nation’s history, from her inception to present day - Nick’s personal pantheon of “great Americans". After the great success of his autobiography, Paddle Your Own Canoe, Offerman now focuses on the lives of those who inspired him. From George Washington to Willie Nelson, he describes 21 heroic figures and why they inspire in him such great meaning.
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Swagger and mirth
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Bedtime Stories for Adults
- This Book Includes: Volume 1, Volume 2: Relaxing Sleep Stories for Meditation and Daily Stress Relief. Calm Your Mind to Ensure a Restful Deep Sleep.
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Story
Do you miss a good night sleep? If you have trouble relaxing, turning your mind off, and lulling the body to sleep, you are not alone. This is a really common problem, and the collection of calming tales inside this audiobook is your answer.
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Only positive thoughts
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By: Carolyn Mason
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You Are (A Comedy) Special
- A Simple 15-Step Self-Help Guide to Forcibly Force Yourself to Write and Perform a Full Hour of Stand-up Comedy
- By: Maria Bamford
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Story
Maria Bamford is a creative genius. But the process of creating is not something that “comes easily” or “is enjoyable” for her. So, over the years, she’s invented a number of helpful techniques for tricking, shaming, coercing herself into doing things. You Are (A Comedy) Special is 15-step comedic send up of a self help guide that examines Maria’s approach to stand-up in a hilarious fashion.
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Funny thoughtful and genuinely beneficial
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By: Maria Bamford
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Harry Clarke
- With Bonus Performance: Lillian
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- Original Recording
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A sexually charged and wickedly funny thriller starring Tony Award-winning actor Billy Crudup, Harry Clarke is the story of a shy Midwestern man leading an outrageous double life as the titular cocky Londoner. Moving to New York City and presenting himself as an Englishman, he charms his way into a wealthy family's life as the seductive and precocious Harry, whose increasingly risky and dangerous behavior threatens to undo more than his persona.
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Ugh - hated it
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By: David Cale
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Holiday Greetings from Sugar and Booze
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- Original Recording
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Holiday Greetings from Sugar and Booze is a music-filled holiday comedy starring Ana Gasteyer and Maya Rudolph, with a jolly cast including Patti LuPone, Rachel Dratch, and Richard Kind. In this heartwarming story of love and friendship, we follow the journey of “Sugar” and “Booze” as they go from inseparable college buddies to busy working moms who mostly keep in touch with each other, and their close friends and family, through annual holiday letters.
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Fun and easy listen
- By MARIE on 12-07-19
By: Ana Gasteyer, and others
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Twain’s Feast
- By: Audible Originals
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 4 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Mark Twain, beloved American writer, performer, and humorist, was a self-proclaimed glutton. With the help of a chef and some friends, Nick Offerman presents the story of Twain’s life through the lens of eight of Mark Twain’s favorite foods.
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Audible Recycling
- By Greg Hill on 11-17-18
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Bad Reception
- By: Justin Michael, Eric Martin
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- Unabridged
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Story
[Contains explicit content] Get ready for a completely improvised and unscripted Audible Original that invites you to listen in on the funniest phone calls from the world’s weirdest town. Bad Reception is an entirely improvised comedy, set entirely on the phone. A cast of over 40 top comedians and improvisers brings to life (and completely makes up) the story of South Grampers, Northern California - the Movie Theater Butter Capital of the World.
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Truly Astounding
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By: Justin Michael, and others
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#1 in Customer Service
- The Complete Adventures of Tom Stranger
- By: Larry Correia
- Narrated by: Adam Baldwin, Larry Correia
- Length: 8 hrs and 34 mins
- Original Recording
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Whether he’s underwriting for an overlord, or wearing a pocket protector in a pocket universe, Tom Stranger has just one policy: providing Quality Customer Service. No alien menace is too menacing, no galactic rift too rifty for the multiverse’s most-trusted Interdimensional Insurance Agent in these three brand-new adventures and two classic escapades.
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First half good
- By Ben Koch on 01-07-20
By: Larry Correia
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Where the Deer and the Antelope Play
- The Pastoral Observations of One Ignorant American Who Loves to Walk Outside
- By: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 11 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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A humorous and rousing set of literal and figurative sojourns as well as a mission statement about comprehending, protecting, and truly experiencing the outdoors, fueled by three journeys undertaken by actor, humorist, and New York Times best-selling author Nick Offerman
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By far his worst work to date.
- By Aron on 10-21-21
By: Nick Offerman
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Paddle Your Own Canoe
- One Man's Fundamentals for Delicious Living
- By: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 10 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing a perfect moustache, grilling red meat, wooing a woman - who better to deliver this tutelage than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in woodworking - he runs his own woodshop - Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman's childhood in small-town Minooka, Illinois, to his theater days in Chicago, beginnings as a carpenter/actor and the hilarious and magnificent seduction of his now-wife Megan Mullally.
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On the need to acknowledge the role luck plays
- By OpenMindedNotCredulous on 11-17-13
By: Nick Offerman
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An Act of God
- By: David Javerbaum
- Narrated by: Sean Hayes, Cheyenne Jackson, Colman Domingo, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 11 mins
- Original Recording
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The One with the first and last word on everything has finally arrived to set the record straight. After many millennia, and in just 90 minutes, God (assisted by his devoted angels) answers some of the deepest questions that have plagued mankind since Creation.
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Not funny at all.
- By Beto on 04-07-20
By: David Javerbaum
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Rivals! Frenemies Who Changed the World
- By: Scott McCormick
- Narrated by: Prentice Onayemi, Samantha Turret, Khristine Hvam, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Did you know that most of our dinosaur fossils were discovered because two grown men absolutely hated each other? It’s true! Rivals! Frenemies Who Changed the World is a riotous audio exclusive, like if Monty Python taught your history class. Each volume of four 30-minute histories will dig into the petty name-calling and grumbling grudges that led to many of the world’s greatest advancements, all delivered with a cheeky sense of humor. Choose sides: Cope or Marsh, the jerks who discovered so many dinosaurs; Hamilton or Burr, whose rivalry fueled American politics; and many more....
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Warning for parents...
- By Jetjaguar15 on 07-08-19
By: Scott McCormick
What listeners say about More Bedtime Stories for Cynics
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Performance
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- Kanga Mom
- 05-03-19
Quirky and Enjoyable
Excellent production of stories in the same vein as "A Boy and His Dog". LOVED the high quality of narrators. Could there EVER be a better voice than Anjelica Huston? There's truth in the stories, too: Rage is the cause of all real and lasting change!
This audiobook is short enough to make a long drive more bearable, or play the stories a few at a time for commute listening.
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14 people found this helpful
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- Bella
- 05-07-19
The stories were really fun !
I had a great time listening to these stories. They were hilarious. I would recommend this book to everyone not only cynics.
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8 people found this helpful
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- VeraLupe
- 05-06-19
Funny!
This is a very entertaining compilation. Can be considered a bit grim for some but just the right amount of amusing for some others. I loved it!
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8 people found this helpful
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- Kiera Fox
- 05-08-19
My Favorite was Nick Offerman's Intro to the Dog
Great fun!
Then stories took weird turns and twists that were captivating and made walking my dog even more FUN!
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4 people found this helpful
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- Luiso
- 05-15-19
I thoroughly enjoyed this book
I definitely recommend this book: both entertaining and fun. Please keep away from children ages 35 and under 😋
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3 people found this helpful
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- Andy S
- 05-10-19
AMAZING!
The narration was more like voice acting. The sound effects made it so immersive. the stories were hilarious and relaxing at the same time. If i could, I would show this to everyone I know. good to listen to during the day and when going to sleep.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Antony
- 05-07-19
great performance
The narators brought the short stories to live and made the imagery very real and exciting
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2 people found this helpful
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- moosky moscovith
- 05-31-19
This is the best book ever!
This may really be the best thing I have heard on Audible, no scratch that, the best thing I have ever heard PERIOD! The book consists several stories narrated by different famous cynics, with presentations and interludes to each story by the one and only, Ron Swanson! (Ron keeps calling himself Nick Offerman for some reason, but he can't fool me). The stories themselves are all cynical and realistic takes on famous children fantasy stories, or some original thoughts and feeling someone wrote.
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- Amazon Customer
- 05-21-19
Very funny and entertaining
super entertaining, great performances ..I never found a boring story while listening to this audio book
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- Daniel Cheshire
- 05-11-19
Nick Offerman is a national treasure.
This was a fun listen... lots of talent reading some sometimes shocking stories. Probably not everyone’s cup of tea, but if you’ve got a taste for the irreverent the I think it’s worth your time.
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