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Scarred
- The True Story of How I Escaped NXIVM, the Cult That Bound My Life
- Narrated by: Sarah Edmondson
- Length: 7 hrs and 43 mins
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Publisher's summary
The shocking and subversive memoir of a 12-year-NXIVM-member-turned-whistleblower, and her inspiring true story of abuse, escape, and redemption.
"Master, would you brand me? It would be an honor."
Scarred follows actress Sarah Edmondson's account of her recruitment into the NXIVM cult, founded by Keith Raniere. It narrates in detail the 12 years she spent within the organization, during which she enrolled over 2,000 members, chronicling her breaking point and her harrowing fight to get out, help others, and heal.
- Complete with personal photographs, this tell-all follows Sarah from the moment she takes her first NXIVM seminar, to the invitation she accepts from her best friend, Lauren Salzman, into DOS - a "secret sisterhood" within the cult - to her journey toward becoming a key witness in the federal case against its founders.
- Listeners will learn how cults like NXIVM get started, why people get involved (and stay), and the importance of whistleblowers who bring light to illegal and unethical practices.
- Sarah Edmondson is a Canadian actress and playwright who has starred in the CBS series Salvation and more than 12 films for the Hallmark Channel and Lifetime. She is featured in the CBC podcast Uncover: Escaping NXIVM and The Vow, the upcoming HBO documentary series on NXIVM.
Scarred isn't just about NXIVM. It is also a story about abuses of power, the role female friendships play in cults, and how sometimes the search to be "better" can override everything else.
- A thrilling listen for fans of true crime and cults, as well as listeners of podcasts like My Favorite Murder and Up and Vanished.
- Great for fans of Troublemaker: Surviving Hollywood and Scientology by Leah Remini, Escape by Carolyn Jessop, Beyond Belief by Jenna Miscavige Hill, and Bad Blood by John Carreyrou.
- Evokes questions about friendship, ethics, good, and evil, making it a perfect selection for book clubs.
Audio edition read by the author.
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life changing
- By Diana Kiesel on 08-05-20
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Life with the Afterlife
- 13 Truths I Learned about Ghosts
- By: Amy Bruni, Julie Tremaine
- Narrated by: Amy Bruni, Christine Lakin
- Length: 6 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Amy Bruni, co-star of Kindred Spirits and one of the world's leading paranormal investigators, has learned a lot about ghosts over her years of research and first-hand experience. Now, in Life with the Afterlife, she shares the insight she has gleaned and how it has shaped her unique approach to interacting with the spirits of the dead and those who encounter them.
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This is a great book!
- By R. Dess on 11-21-20
By: Amy Bruni, and others
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Captive
- A Mother's Crusade to Save Her Daughter from a Terrifying Cult
- By: Catherine Oxenberg, Natasha Stoynoff
- Narrated by: Catherine Oxenberg
- Length: 10 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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In 2011, Catherine joined her daughter, India, at a leadership seminar for a new organization called NXIVM. Her 20-year-old daughter was on the threshold of building a new company, and they both thought this program might help her achieve her dream. But quickly, Catherine saw a sinister side to what appeared to be a self-help organization designed to help its clients become the best versions of themselves. Catherine watched in horror as her daughter fell further and further down the rabbit hole, becoming brainwashed by the organization’s charismatic leader.
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Not as good as a I hoped....
- By Fallon Martin on 11-12-19
By: Catherine Oxenberg, and others
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Don't Call It a Cult
- The Shocking Story of Keith Raniere and the Women of NXIVM
- By: Sarah Berman
- Narrated by: Ewa Wolniczek
- Length: 10 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Investigative journalist Sarah Berman explores the shocking practices of NXIVM, a cult run by Keith Raniere and many enablers. Through the accounts of central NXIVM figures, Berman uncovers how dozens of women seeking creative coaching and networking opportunities instead were blackmailed, literally branded, near-starved, and enslaved. Don't Call It a Cult is a riveting account of NXIVM's rise to power, its ability to evade prosecution for decades, and the investigation that finally revealed its dark secrets to the world.
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Detailed (best for those already interested)
- By JR on 05-02-21
By: Sarah Berman
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Still Learning
- A Memoir
- By: India Oxenberg
- Narrated by: India Oxenberg
- Length: 6 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Still Learning is India Oxenberg’s intimate, first-person account of how she was lured into and, seven years later, escaped from the NXIVM cult, DOS. As the secret sorority within NXIVM's vast Ponzi network, DOS was created by Keith Raniere and his acolytes to serve as a source of "slaves" to Keith and the other “masters”. Despite the fantastical headlines, the focus of Still Learning reflects what many parents and age peers of India’s will recognize as a far more familiar 20-something conundrum - a new adult trying to discover who she is.
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The best book on Nxivm so far
- By rebekah s. on 11-04-20
By: India Oxenberg
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The Program
- Inside the Mind of Keith Raniere and the Rise and Fall of NXIVM
- By: Toni Natalie, Chet Hardin
- Narrated by: Toni Natalie
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Many have heard of NXIVM and its creator, Keith Raniere, the unassuming Albany man now prosecuted for ensnaring tens of thousands of people in the US, Mexico, Canada, and elsewhere to do his bidding and pay millions of dollars to participate in his self-improvement methodology. But where did Keith Raniere begin? Enter Toni Natalie, Keith's Patient Zero, the first one indoctrinated into Raniere's methodology and the first one to escape.
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Important addation to the NXIVM story
- By Dennis Hinkamp on 10-20-19
By: Toni Natalie, and others
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Waiting for an Echo
- The Madness of American Incarceration
- By: Christine Montross
- Narrated by: Christine Montross
- Length: 10 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Dr. Christine Montross has spent her career treating the most severely ill psychiatric patients. Several years ago, she set out to investigate why so many of her patients got caught up in the legal system when discharged from her care - and what happened to them therein. Waiting for an Echo is a riveting, rarely seen glimpse into American incarceration. It is also a damning account of policies that have criminalized mental illness, shifting large numbers of people who belong in therapeutic settings into punitive ones.
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life changing
- By Diana Kiesel on 08-05-20
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Life with the Afterlife
- 13 Truths I Learned about Ghosts
- By: Amy Bruni, Julie Tremaine
- Narrated by: Amy Bruni, Christine Lakin
- Length: 6 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Amy Bruni, co-star of Kindred Spirits and one of the world's leading paranormal investigators, has learned a lot about ghosts over her years of research and first-hand experience. Now, in Life with the Afterlife, she shares the insight she has gleaned and how it has shaped her unique approach to interacting with the spirits of the dead and those who encounter them.
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This is a great book!
- By R. Dess on 11-21-20
By: Amy Bruni, and others
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The Angel Makers
- Arsenic, a Midwife, and Modern History’s Most Astonishing Murder Ring
- By: Patti McCracken
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
- Length: 10 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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The Angel Makers is a true-crime story like no other—a 1920s midwife who may have been the century’s most prolific killer leading a murder ring of women responsible for the deaths of at least 160 men.
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Interesting Story, Questionable Execution
- By Claire H Denham on 03-27-23
By: Patti McCracken
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The Facemaker
- A Visionary Surgeon's Battle to Mend the Disfigured Soldiers of World War I
- By: Lindsey Fitzharris
- Narrated by: Daniel Gillies
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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From the moment the first machine gun rang out over the Western Front, one thing was clear: mankind’s military technology had wildly surpassed its medical capabilities. Bodies were battered, gouged, hacked, and gassed. The First World War claimed millions of lives and left millions more wounded and disfigured. In the midst of this brutality, however, there were also those who strove to alleviate suffering. The Facemaker tells the extraordinary story of such an individual: the pioneering plastic surgeon Harold Gillies.
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My favorite author
- By Dani on 06-07-22
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Cannibalism
- By: Bill Schutt
- Narrated by: Tom Perkins
- Length: 8 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Eating one's own kind is a completely natural behavior in thousands of species, including humans. Throughout history we have engaged in cannibalism for reasons related to famine, burial rites, and medicine. Cannibalism has also been used as a form of terrorism and as the ultimate expression of filial piety. With unexpected wit and a wealth of knowledge, Bill Schutt takes us on a tour of the field, exploring exciting new avenues of research and investigating questions like why so many fish eat their offspring and some amphibians consume their mothers' skin.
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Ruined it at the end
- By Kimberly Ames on 12-07-17
By: Bill Schutt
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18 Tiny Deaths
- The Untold Story of Frances Glessner Lee and the Invention of Modern Forensics
- By: Bruce Goldfarb
- Narrated by: Nan McNamara
- Length: 8 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Frances Glessner Lee, born a socialite to a wealthy and influential Chicago family in the 1870s, was never meant to have a career, let alone one steeped in death and depravity. Yet she developed a fascination with the investigation of violent crimes and made it her life's work. Best known for creating the Nutshell Studies of Unexplained Death, a series of dollhouses that appear charming - until you notice the macabre little details: an overturned chair, or a blood-spattered comforter.
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Another improbable lady giant
- By A. W. Einstein Jr. on 03-21-20
By: Bruce Goldfarb
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Tell Me Everything
- The Story of a Private Investigation
- By: Erika Krouse
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
- Length: 9 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Erika Krouse has one of those faces. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this,” people say, spilling confessions. In fall 2002, Erika accepts a new contract job investigating lawsuits as a private investigator. The role seems perfect for her, but she quickly realizes she has no idea what she’s doing. Then a lawyer named Grayson assigns her to investigate a sexual assault, a college student who was attacked by football players and recruits at a party a year earlier. Erika knows she should turn the assignment down.
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Love this author
- By Jessica on 04-08-22
By: Erika Krouse
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The Unidentified
- Mythical Monsters, Alien Encounters, and Our Obsession with the Unexplained
- By: Colin Dickey
- Narrated by: Will Damron
- Length: 10 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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In a world where rational, scientific explanations are more available than ever, belief in the unprovable and irrational - in fringe - is on the rise: from Atlantis to aliens, from Flat Earth to the Loch Ness monster, the list goes on. It seems the more our maps of the known world get filled in, the more we crave mysterious locations full of strange creatures. Enter Colin Dickey, cultural historian and tour guide of the weird.
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Skeptic's Analysis of Weird America
- By Adrian on 11-23-20
By: Colin Dickey
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We Carry Their Bones
- The Search for Justice at the Dozier School for Boys
- By: Erin Kimmerle
- Narrated by: Janina Edwards
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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The Arthur G. Dozier Boys School was a well-guarded secret in Florida for over a century, until reports of cruelty, abuse, and “mysterious” deaths shut the institution down in 2011. Established in 1900, the juvenile reform school accepted children as young as six years of age for crimes as harmless as truancy or trespassing. The boys sent there, many of whom were Black, were subject to brutal abuse, routinely hired out to local farmers by the school’s management as indentured labor, and died either at the school or attempting to escape its brutal conditions.
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The word Bones
- By Charlene J on 08-19-24
By: Erin Kimmerle
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Hell in the Heartland
- Murder, Meth, and the Case of Two Missing Girls
- By: Jax Miller
- Narrated by: Amy Landon
- Length: 11 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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On December 30, 1999, in rural Oklahoma, 16-year-old Ashley Freeman and her best friend, Lauria Bible, were having a sleepover. The next morning, the Freeman family trailer was in flames and both girls were missing. While rumors of drug debts, revenge, and police collusion abounded in the years that followed, the case remained unsolved, and the girls were never found.
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Remember it's unsolved
- By Carol on 09-16-20
By: Jax Miller
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All the Living and the Dead
- From Embalmers to Executioners, an Exploration of the People Who Have Made Death Their Life's Work
- By: Hayley Campbell
- Narrated by: Hayley Campbell
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Fueled by a childhood fascination with death, journalist Hayley Campbell searches for answers in the people who make a living by working with the dead. Along the way, she encounters mass fatality investigators, embalmers, and a former executioner who is responsible for ending sixty-two lives. She meets gravediggers who have already dug their own graves, visits a cryonics facility in Michigan, goes for late-night Chinese with a homicide detective, and questions a man whose job it is to make crime scenes disappear.
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Excellent
- By Noelle on 09-01-22
By: Hayley Campbell
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Data Baby
- My Life in a Psychological Experiment
- By: Susannah Breslin
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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When Susannah Breslin is a toddler, her parents enroll her in an exclusive laboratory preschool at the University of California, Berkeley, where she becomes one of 128 children who are research subjects in an unprecedented 30-year psychological experiment that predicts who she and her cohort will grow up to be. Decades later, trapped in an abusive marriage to a man with a violent history and battling breast cancer, she starts to wonder how growing up under a microscope shaped the person she became and her life choices. Is she the narrator of the story of her life, or is something else?
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There should be a law. Oh wait there is.
- By all our stories on 05-31-24
By: Susannah Breslin
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The Education of a Coroner
- Lessons in Investigating Death
- By: John Bateson
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 11 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Ken Holmes worked in the Marin County Coroner's Office for 36 years, starting as a death investigator and ending as the three-term, elected coroner. As he grew into the job - which is different from what is depicted on television - Holmes learned a variety of skills, from finding hidden clues at death scenes, interviewing witnesses effectively, managing bystanders and reporters, preparing testimony for court, to notifying families of a death with sensitivity and compassion.
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Excellent read. What an Education.
- By Amazon Customer on 11-10-17
By: John Bateson
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Boys Enter the House
- The Victims of John Wayne Gacy and the Lives They Left Behind
- By: David Nelson
- Narrated by: T. Ryder Smith
- Length: 12 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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As investigators brought out the bagged remains of several dozen young men from a small Chicago ranch home and paraded them in front of a crowd of TV reporters and spectators, attention quickly turned to the owner of the house. John Gacy was an upstanding citizen, active in local politics and charities, famous for his themed parties and appearances as Pogo the Clown. But in the winter of 1978-79, he became known as one of many so-called “sex murderers” who had begun gaining notoriety in the random brutality of the 1970s.
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What we really needed to know about the Gacy murders.
- By Aaron on 03-02-24
By: David Nelson
What listeners say about Scarred
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Victoria Eriksson
- 05-30-20
5 stars
Wonderful
I read this in the span of a single 24 hr period, couldn't put it down. For anyone who has been part of any sort of destructive cult, or thinks they are part of such a group, you should absolutely read this. It helps clarify exactly what qualifies, how to see red flags clearly.
I have already been healing for about 10 years from a destructive psychotherapy cult, but that made it a more meaningful experience because Sarah helped to usher in an era that involves more justice and understanding than existed in American society and law for people like us than existed when I was leaving my own destructive cult. And for the Keith Renieres of the world, the narcissistic sociopathic leaders of said groups, too.
Thank you
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- Anonymous User
- 07-09-21
Love! Love! Love!
Amazing book! Could not put it down and a must read!!!! Highly recommend this read!
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- Glenn Franco Simmons
- 09-03-21
Sarah, a hero
Your strength saved many, Sarah. May your stepmother's memory be a blessing. Pray for her, as she prays for you. Peace.
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- N. Profit
- 12-23-21
Beautiful & heartfelt
I’ve been saving this for some time. Today, I had the house to myself to clean before the holidays and listened to the WHOLE thing in one go. Sure this is a story about uncovering a destructive cult… but more importantly, this is an amazing journey of a brave, strong woman, reclaiming her life. I teared up at the introduction and all through the acknowledgements! I laughed and I cried. Thank you for sharing your story with the world, Sarah 💗
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- BLShu
- 02-14-23
Thank you for your story
Thank you so much for sharing this story, it was great to learn more specifics of your journey outside of The Vow.
Great performance!
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- Carolina
- 06-19-24
Must read/listen
Sarah’s personal story allows people to learn about the quiet threat of groups like nxivm that hide in plain sight all over the world. This is the beginning of what I hope is a cultural shift toward cult/coercive and high control group awareness
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- Jeffrey Dalziel
- 06-22-21
read by Sara herself!!!
what really amazed me was that Sara narrated her own book, which seems to be pretty rare. I usually struggle to finish books but this one was an exception. Captivating and extremely well told story. I recommend!
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- Candice C
- 07-16-21
Excellent read
Sarah’s voice reading it, takes you right there! I didn’t know much about NXIVM until the docu-series “the vow” came out. This book takes you right into Sarah’s journey in NXIVM. She breaks everything down in detail & gives an in depth look at how indoctrination into NXIVM began unknowingly. She takes you all the way up to the pivotal “lightbulb” moment she has & how she finally was able to break free. Though I knew some of her story, this book lays it all completely out.
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- Amazon Customer
- 06-01-21
Really Appreciate Sarah Edmondson for writing this book
I really enjoyed hearing Sarah’s portrayal of her side of the story of DOS and Nxvim. This story is heartbreaking, riveting and at times excruciating for most of the women on the inside. So i am so happy to hear Sarah push past the pain and embarrassment to be open and honest in order to help herself heal but also help other women get out and empower them to speak up
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- maryann wotton
- 02-27-20
Thank you Sarah for your courage!
Amazing story for any woman who has suffered the trauma of an abusive relationship. She details the slow-building manipulation of this LYING sociopath. As a former domestic violence counselor, I recommend this book HIGHLY for anyone leaving an abusive relationship. It may be triggering, but the author's candid recounting of her experiences will be validating with anyone who has been manipulated to this level. There is hope. You can leave, and you can have a better life. Predators of this type are the worst because they look for good, well-meaning people to exploit and control. You can't imagine anyone being so maniacal until it happens to you or someone you love.
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