The Motherload

By: Sarah Hoover

Narrated by: Sarah Hoover

“The Motherload is for all the women who wish someone had told them the truth about motherhood. Honest, unapologetic, and brutally funny…it’s about developing the strength to care for yourself and, thereby, learning to care for another.” —Stephanie Danler, New York Times bestselling author of Sweetbitter

An intimately honest memoir about motherhood that dares to ask, what happens when “what to expect when you’re expecting” turns out to be months of rage, anguish, brain fog, and a total surrender of sex, career, and identity.

“The kid was objectively a tiny worm, even worse, a worm with my nose.” Welcome to Sarah Hoover’s unflinching take on motherhood and its expectations in which the beatific narrative women have been fed—one of immediate connection to your child followed by a joyful path of maternal discovery—turns out to be not quite true. In The Motherload, Hoover provides a candid, funny, and sobering look at the journey women undertake as expectant mothers and wives from the early days of pregnancy through labor and beyond.

Like most of us, Sarah Hoover grew up imagining a certain life for herself—career, love, marriage, children—and when Hoover moved from Indiana to New York City to study art history, the life she’d imagined began falling into place. She got her degree, landed a job in a gallery, made friends, and went on some exceptionally bad dates. She also met interesting artists, one of whom became her future husband (a whirlwind romance, theirs, exciting even with its imperfections). But when Hoover got pregnant, the life she imagined began to unravel.

She felt like an imposter in her own body. She grew distant from her friends and husband. She suffered from anxiety, fear, guilt, and shame. She also experienced trauma at the hands of one of her doctors—a stark trigger. And eventually, when her son was born, there was no… joy. Instead, she felt “disoriented, lonely, and like none of my clothes fit.” Why was she seeing and hearing things that weren’t there? Why was she so angry and miserable when she had everything she thought she wanted? Why was the life she’d built falling apart?

It took her months to discover that she was suffering from severe postpartum depression. And it took even longer to trace all the threads that came to inform her experience.

At its core, The Motherload is about learning to forgive yourself for not being what you’ve been told you must be and for not loving the way you’ve been told you should. It’s about the uniquely female experience of constantly grappling with expectation versus reality, no matter your circumstance, and a rejection of the cultural idea of the mother as a perfect being. It is a moving, exciting, roller coaster ride, and a propulsive addition to the canon of women’s literature.

©2025 Sarah Hoover (P)2025 Simon & Schuster Audio

Meaningful, difficult, funny

While the protracted description of her depressed brain’s defective thinking could be tedious at times, I think this is an important description of what postpartum depression can be like. I think it could be useful to women to understand the possible variance of symptoms in the condition and hear a story about how to overcome it. This book captures much of the emotional depth and complexity of motherhood, how joyful, profound, and harrowing it can be all at once. I also appreciated the discussion on how personal identity fluctuates during the process of becoming a mom. I found that relatable and true. Essentially, no holds barred here. I meaningful work that validates any feelings or experience about becoming a mom.

Absolutely devoured this!

Honest, funny, and vulnerable. Great book/audiobook. Highly recommend this. And the author does a great job of narrating.

Full circle journey

Real, vulnerable, and engaging. While the first half of the book may be almost scary for expecting moms, I felt proud of and inspired by the author’s personal growth by the end. -mom to a toddler

Amazing! 10/10

Loved everything about this book. Very raw, honest, vulnerable and just straight up relatable. I encourage all first time pregnant people to read and take notes especially when it comes to prepping n planning for the birth of your baby and your postpartum recovery…. As a society we fail to prep and plan for allllllllllll the changes that comes with becoming a parent for the first time. One of the biggest and hardest emotions I believe always comes up for first time parents is Grief…. Grief from the freedom and carefree life you had prior to now being on 24/7 baby duties from one second to the next. ITS HARDDDDD regardless if your 16 yrs old or 40! I love how this memoir takes you on her journey through it all and how she was able to find herself out of that dark time and find joy and happiness again.

Great book!

Honest. Raw. Relatable. Hilarious. Gut wrenching. Un-put-down-able. Healing. Sarah Hoover vulnerably and shamelessly writes about the paradoxes of motherhood by sharing her story.

A real, honest account of new motherhood

I’ve been pregnant four times, birthing three (lost one), So I’ve been through the motherhood experience. Sarah covers countless areas of new motherhood in the realist way, and her narration was lovely. This is how my friends and I talk about motherhood. It was refreshing and also took me right back to some of the most painful parts of those early years. It was definitely a hurts so good situation. I always appreciate honesty in experiences. We’re not alone. We’re all connected. TBH, I’ll listen again in about six months just to enjoy it all over again.

A great unfiltered perspective of becoming a mother

I loved the authors performance, it felt like catching up with a girlfriend. I love the author’s descriptions, she really paints a picture - which is so fitting for her. I felt a spectrum of emotions while listening to this book. I loved how raw, real, and truthful she is about her experiences. Would recommend to anyone who has become a mom.

Relatable and raw

Author is so open and vulnerable willing to share her deepest darkest truths - truths about becoming a mother in a world full of ambivalence (including our own) about the process. So much of her story resonated with my own, many years ago. Thank you🙏🏼

An unbridled account of early motherhood…

While not fully similar to my own struggle with postpartum depression, Sarah’s account of her experience really resonated with me. Well done.

Raw, real, sad, funny, witty.

I found this book to be a compelling and honest look at the complexities of being a human woman and mother. LOVED IT. Just couldn’t stop listening!