When you hear the word “perfectionist”, what comes to mind? Maybe you think of yourself?

Typically, it’s someone who holds themselves to impossibly and unachievably high standards, driven by fear of real or imagined consequences if they don’t get it (whatever “it” is) exactly right.

Because perfect is rarely possible, they never “measure up,” and they get discouraged and burn out. They’ve given away all their f**ks and feel like they never got any results or recognition for all their work, so they stop caring altogether.

To say the least, that makes them unproductive – which is exactly what Kathryn Mayer is here to change.

Kathryn was raised by a father who was a neurologist and a professor who taught her that your identity comes from the work you do and a homemaker mother who passed on perfectionism – that you have to work hard and if you’re going to do something, you must do it well or not at all.

As a child, Kathryn tried ballet and wasn’t good at it, then gymnastics which didn’t work out because she was too tall. Then she discovered tennis, which she enjoyed and showed real aptitude for. So, her mother put Kathryn in private lessons and then, because they were spending money on the lessons, she had to compete in tournaments.

Until she was 14, she did well in singles tournaments due to her height advantage over opponents her age, but then the other girls caught up in height. So, she switched to doubles, which she was also good at, but she lost her joy for tennis and quit.

When Kathryn went to college, she was Dean’s List level, but she graduated with no idea what to do as a career! So she hired a career coach, which began a three-year process of discovery that included mapping out a forty (yes, four-oh) year plan. Meanwhile, she went through five careers by the time she was 26 before landing what she thought would be her dream job in New York City.

The following years would see her try more careers, plus take a biking vacation with her husband to Cambodia. It was that trip where it struck her that it was actually okay if she rode in the van instead of fighting to ride her bike over the bad roads. It was okay to not do the thing she thought she was “supposed” to do.

Back home, she was “shoulding” all over herself, her career, and her life – which reminds me of the conversation back in episode 2 with Dara Goldberg where we talked about “shedding the shoulds.”

Finally, she had a boss who told her to lighten up because she was constantly frustrated. When his message didn’t get through, he pulled her aside and asked her a curious question: “Why don’t you try going to clown school?”

In a moment, when you meet Kathryn, you’ll see how all these threads came together and inspired her to mesh productivity with perfectionism. If you feel like you’re just not hacking it, this show is for you.

Kathryn’s hype song is “I’m Coming Out” by Diana Ross.

Resources:

• Kathyrn Mayer’s website: https://www.kcmayer.com/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kathryncmayer/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KCMConsulting/
• X (formerly Twitter): https://x.com/GrandSlamCoach
• Claim your copy of “The Productive Perfectionist: