Our merry band of murder hobos is forced by the Red Hand Syndicate to find a magic key for them. A ball is being held at the mansion where the key is kept, and there will probably be an orgy, so we are in a rush to get there, but first we must travel through the "tainted" forest.

Previously, in Episode 1, our newly formed band of Murder Hobos was forced into the tainted forest by the Red Hand Syndicate. They’ve ordered us to bring them a magic key by the end of the night or face certain death. The key is kept at mansion where a ball is being held tonight, and you know what that means—there’s probably going to be an orgy!

But first, we must fight off a tide of vermin, including disgusting deer carcass zombie creatures, swarms of bugs, and other nasties.

Enjoy!

Thank you for joining us for Half OK Dungeons and Dragons, Episode 3. This is Part 1 One-Off Campaign, Chapter 3, titled “How to Make Friends and Possess People.”

Previously, in Episode 2, our plucky band of Murder Hobos fought off zombie deer and swarms of bugs in the tainted forest. While looting, Gari found a cabbage baby head and ate it immediately, which is probably going to come back to bite him, literally…

We are on our way to a ball at a mansion in the forest to find a magic key for the Red Hand Syndicate or face certain death. But first, we will have lots of opportunities to make more horrible decisions as we navigate through the creepy forest. Enjoy!

Thank you for joining us for Half OK Dungeons and Dragons, Episode 4. This is Part 1 of our One-Off Campaign, Chapter 4, titled “Jesus Trice.”

Our demented band of Murder Hobos was forced into the tainted forest by the Red Hand Syndicate, who have ordered us to bring them a magic key by the end of the night or face certain death. After fighting off possession by fairy lights, zombie deer, swarms of insects, and sad, hungry Jack O’ Lantern people, we have made it just outside the creepy mansion where the key is kept. A ball is being held tonight, and you know what that means: Orgy! Orgy! Enjoy!

Contents:

1. I shook my charismatic titties for you!
2. Which floor is the orgy on?
3. You’re running full tilt, you p**** is wet…
4. ‘Blur’ them in a little
5. Suck the F***ING life out of this werebear!
6. I don’t know if you can ‘bear’ it.
7. Bosom buddies
8. You may need another drink before the orgy
9. (Break: "Sad Whale")
10. Maura burps the alphabet
11. Clusgoth the hugger
12. Regina’s vagina = a deflated beach ball
13. Docking
14. Double ZZ’s
15. This is, like, my 6th drink...
16. Jesus Trice
17. Yeah, what are you going to do, nap when there’s tentacles all over?

Thank you for joining us for Half OK Dungeons and Dragons, Episode 5. This is the second session of our One-Off Campaign. This campaign was only supposed to be a one-night long game but it stretched into 2 nights. Unfortunately, Gari/Troy was sick and couldn’t make it to the second game, so Lauren wanted him to guest host these episodes so he don’t feel left out. This first chapter of Part 2 is called, “It’s a Boy!” Awww!

Our scribe Sammy is going to recap the events of Part 1, Episodes 1 thru 4, and then our gang of murder hobos is going to have to help Gari deal with that cabbage baby head he ate before they sneak into the creepy mansion to retrieve the magic key for the Red Hand Syndicate.  Enjoy!

1. Sammy’s Recap
2. “Does anyone want to help him?” “Nooooo!”
3. Emergency C-section
4. It’s a boy!
5. Reminiscing about our childhoods
6. Break: "I Want to F***... You All (Prince Tribute)"
7. Can my cabbage baby eat through the door?
8. Other stuff

Thank you for joining us for Half OK Dungeons and Dragons, Episode 6. This is Part 2, a.k.a. the second session of our One-Off Campaign, Chapter 2 titled “At least you still have legs!” Unfortunately, I was sick for this session of the game, so Lauren wanted me to guest host these episodes so I don’t feel left out. 😊I finally get to find out what happened to my baby boy!

Regina and Sedarian or Sedaris—whatever! The one everyone says is handsome—are disguised as servants and bringing up wine from the cellar that’s full of mutagens for all the guests at the ball to drink. Amafray, Eulalie, Elodie and my cabbage baby are mingling with the other guests as best they can, which apparently is…not very well. But first, we’re going to find out what happened to Visaya, who successfully climbed up the shaft of the mansion—and that’s not a euphemism! She meets someone on the roof.

1. Visaya is in deep doo-doo
2. The fat woman and the nerd
3. Eric is getting Monistat for Christmas
4. Can my baby drink the wine?
5. Apparently, your character is dumb
6. Do you do the ‘dew with her?
7. Tatiana and Oberon preserve us!
8. Shoud’ve never touched that shaft!
9. It’s like a hemorrhoid
10. Your legs wither and blacken underneath you
11. Lalalalalalalala
12. Break: “Not listening (lalalala)” song by Lauren

1. Elodie breaks
2. Well, this is going to be a shit show…
3. Let the blood orgy begin!
4. Mesmerizing tits: a blessing and a curse
5. This sucks a$$!
6. At least you still have legs!
7. I thought you loved me, Eric!
8. I could drag you around?
9. I wouldn’t look yet…
10. He takes his time to lick his paw and claws

Thank you for joining us for Half OK Dungeons and Dragons, Episode 7. This is Part 3, a.k.a. the second session of our One-Off Campaign, Chapter 3 titled “Baby Slaw.” That doesn’t bode well for Gari Jr.! Gari (Troy) was sick for this session of the game, so he's guest hosting Part 2 so he doesn't feel left out.

So, the orgy at the ball at the creepy mansion turns out to be a blood orgy. The guests at the ball have tasted the tainted wine and mutated into bloodthirsty werecreatures. Eulalie spilled some of the wine on herself and is now struggling with her newfound Hunger.

Remember that key we are supposed to retrieve for the Red Hand Syndicate so we don’t die? Visaya was forced to drink the mutagenic wine by The Green Lady who has the key, and now Visaya has turned into a cyclops-worm thing. ☹️ This episode begins with Elody and Amafray trying to fight off werewolf creatures.

1. Reminds me of when I was married!
2. You stab him, but he likes it.
3. You get your snout in there
4. I still have fists, don’t I?
5. Eat wood, b****!
6. I rolled a one…
7. SURPRISE, MOTHER***ER!
8. Wookie talk
9. I have a shield and a dagger… and a baby…
10. You can hear your baby turn to slaw…

11. Stupid whore!

12. I’m going to throw you up into the tree!

13. Imma little druid elf/centipede!

14. Crown of Madness

Half OK: Dungeons and Dragons for Perverts.

Thank you for joining us for Half OK Dungeons and Dragons, Episode 8. This is Part 2, a.k.a. the second session of our One-Off Campaign. Gari was sick for this session of the game, so he's guest hosting these Part 2 episodes so he doesn't feel left out. Chapter 4 is titled “Welp.”

Visaya was turned into a sad worm creature, and later turned into a projectile by Sedaris and Regina. At least she’s still a useful part of the team! Elody transformed into a centipede to escape the bloodthirsty werecreature/party guests and has joined the other Murder Hobos on the roof. Eulalie got some of the mutagenic wine on her and now is struggling with The Hunger. Amafray has cast the “Crown of Madness” spell on the Green Lady who has that key we need to get for the Red Hand Syndicate so we don’t die.

1. I suck @$$
2. It’s like a ‘White Snake’ video. Only it’s a green snake!
3. We could… break our legs…
4. You don’t even have any legs
5. Just ride my t*ts!
6. Freeballing!
7. Her giant pillowy breasts saved you
8. ♫♪♪ Transform her… into a thing with one eye… ♫♪♪
9. Mirror Image
10. Eulalie bites it
11. Your bones are pulp
12. I’m gonna eat that lady!
13. Can we have an aside?

1. [Character] frappé
2. Big ol’ meaty chunks of [character’s name]
3. [So-and-so] is cut into ribbons
4. JK, you’re dead!
5. Well, she’s still alive… metabolically…
6. It detonates
7. You can talk to her, but her brains are scrambled eggs
8. Use her intestines as a rope!
9. Okay, she’s probably going to notice a bunch of guts going over the side…
10. Sweetie, I understand not having legs…

Join us next week as we begin our next campaign. Here’s a hint: we’re in the no-no place: Hell! 

Music and sound engineering by Lauren. Artwork by Sammy. Thank you again for joining us! Peace!