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Now we will take an in-depth look at one of the most controversial and difficult emotions for most people to experience: anger. Anger directed either at ourselves or in relation to other people is often at the core of many different issues that people bring into therapy. In today’s episode, we will start our exploration by delving first into the question, What is anger? We will consider how it is a primary human emotion that is observed across all cultures and across the lifespan. We will discuss what anger represents emotionally as well as what happens to our neurophysiology when we experience anger.

Next, we will discuss how anger as a universal emotion is directly linked to the nature of needs fulfillment. We will discuss how the idea of fulfilling our competing needs drives the very organization of society. We will observe briefly how all cultures must come to terms with the interaction between anger and needs. We will also explore the distinction between righteous anger and selfish anger.

Bringing the focus back to our personal lives, we will next explore how anger and its expression takes on personal meaning in each of our lives. We discuss how we are each trained to cope with our needs, and thus how to express anger, based on our earliest childhood experiences and in the countless interactions with our caregivers and environment. Next, we will explore how these early childhood experiences lead to several different, distinctive presentations of anger in adulthood. Anger often comes into the therapy room in one of several characteristic ways, and we will unpack these presentations and discuss what they tell us about our personal orientation to the emotion of anger and to getting our needs fulfilled.

Finally, we will discuss how we can begin to develop ways of dealing with our anger that will allow it to fulfill its proper and healthy function and not to pose a threat to our well-being or our relationships.

The emotion of anger is the natural response to recognizing that our needs are not being met. We can learn to manage this emotional activation and create new and healthy ways for us to identify, express, and negotiate in order to have our needs met in life.

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In this episode, we explore two fundamental principles in Clinical Psychology that have far-ranging implications for the way we feel, think, and relate to other people. These ideas are simple to understand, but they play an important role in diagnosing and treating a wide variety of mental disorders.

First, we discuss the concept of Needs Fulfillment. All living organisms are engaged in a lifelong struggle to meet their needs, and human beings are no different. We examine the array of needs humans have using the famous model developed by Psychologist Abraham Maslow. We explore the levels of his famous Hierarchy of Needs and explain how the concept of levels is relevant to understanding the ways in which we go about getting our needs met. We discuss how the concept of needs fulfillment provides a framework for understanding the most basic questions people bring into therapy: Why do people do what they do? and, Why do I do what I do?

Second, we introduce and examine the concept of Neuroplasticity. This exciting frontier in medical science unifies long-standing theories of learning with the most recent advances in brain imaging, which demonstrates how the structures of the brain adapt and re-shape themselves in response to the demands we put on them. Our brains are always learning, and what we pay attention to and practice over time shapes our brain to facilitate more efficient thinking patterns. Advances in neuroplasticity help us answer fundamental questions about how human beings learn and how we can understand and change our habits.

Then, we explore how these two simple ideas can come together to help us understand many of our most pressing questions about ourselves and other people. We discuss how a firm grasp of these principles can free us from taking things so personally and can give us a framework for shaping behavior in a more positive way.

While human behavior is complex and may seem impenetrable and mysterious, a familiarity with the fundamental principles that shape it can empower us to make radical and positive changes in the way we understand ourselves and other people. Knowledge truly can empower us to improve our lives.

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In this episode, we address the topic of Emotional Hijacking, a process where our emotions are stirred up in a way that we may struggle to make rational, healthy choices or engage in effective planning for our long-term benefit.

We examine the meaning of the phrase, and we review and explain the neurophysiological basis behind the process. We explore how systems that are designed to protect us in the face of danger can become a liability when the dynamics of a situation stir up strong emotions. Because of the way our brain and body function when in a crisis, we may not be able to think clearly or solve problems effectively when we are upset, angry, confused, or emotional.

We consider situations in which emotional hijacking may come into play. In the domain of our intimate, primary relationships, there may be an unhealthy cycle in which one partner becomes upset and the other partner ends up getting their way. In contrast with a collaborative and open approach to communication, emotional hijacking can cause a corrosive build-up of mistrust and resentment.

The process of emotional hijacking can also come into play in the broader domain of our societal relationships. In a negative way, some actors in a society may stir up strong emotions in order to induce people to act in a particular way that may not be in the best interest of all members of that population. During contentious political campaign seasons, exposure to media that inflames our passions may not set us up to calmly and rationally assess which policy approaches would be best for ourselves, our families, and our society. Finally, we discuss self-defense strategies against emotional hijacking, both personal and societal.

We can learn to monitor our level of emotional activation in order to calm ourselves down. We can implement personal strategies to manage our level of emotions and make use of our broader faculties in order to make better decisions about our personal and societal future.

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I recently asked a group of people familiar with the podcast what subjects they would like to hear addressed in a future episode. With little hesitation, two people suggested the topic of Religious Trauma. This is a topic that comes up fairly regularly in therapy sessions. As a trauma specialist, I have met people who have been through all kinds of difficult situations, and a sizable number of them have been injured at the hands of someone who is in some way identified with a particular religious or spiritual group.

In this episode, we explore the topic from several angles. First, we will discuss working definitions of what Religious Trauma is. The conditions of Religious Trauma are often complex, and the specific injuries people suffer are varied. There are different ways people describe this phenomenon, and their perspective is often a product of their own agenda and belief system.

Second, we will look at what accounts for the injuries sustained when someone has been victimized in the name of a particular religion or belief system. We will discuss why Religious Trauma is a real trauma, and we will look at the impact of the particular agent of injury.

Third, we will look at some of the ways victims of Religious Trauma present in therapy. We will explore the general reactions people have when they have been injured in this specific way, and we will discuss how this form of trauma injures people by distorting the very natural human drive to make meaning of our lives and our place in the world.

Fourth, we will then discuss some approaches to begin healing from this devastating form of trauma. Of course, there is not one specific technique or approach for all people due to the complexity and variety of ways people could be affected, but there are sound principles of healing that will help anyone who is struggling with this kind of injury.

Finally, we will close the discussion with a message of hope about what healing looks like. It is our birthright as human beings to explore our place in the world and to ultimately achieve a level of understanding and acceptance that brings peace and joy back into our life.

If you or someone you know has been victimized by a religious group or a person acting in the name of a religious group, this episode of Peace, Love, & Psychology can help you along in your healing journey.

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It is impossible to go anywhere in life if we do not know where we want to go. In this episode, we explore a famous technique used throughout the history of psychotherapy to help people clarify their direction in life. Known by many names, this exercise is commonly referred to as the “Lottery Question.” By practicing this technique, even if we are not currently in therapy, we can bring our core values into focus, analyze what is most important to us, identify what would bring purpose and meaning into our life, and set a course toward a more fulfilling life.

We first examine why this exercise is so useful in many different kinds of therapy, and we consider why it is so difficult for us to focus on what we truly want in life. We explore some common reasons for this process of self-censoring, and in so doing, we set the stage for making the most of this technique. We discuss how this exercise, when approached with the correct intent, helps us to move beyond the pleasure-centered thoughts and fantasies we all entertain and to identify the deeper values that can guide us toward living a life of meaning. We briefly describe how this exercise—a form of free writing—engages a process similar to the free association technique used in classical psychoanalysis.

We then discuss the procedure and guidelines for making the most of the lottery question exercise. The goal is to equip the listener with concrete information that will allow them to engage in the exercise with confidence.

We then explain how to interpret the results of the exercise. We point out what to notice about the results of the technique by observing the recurring themes and looking out for responses that are surprising. By reviewing the results and grouping them into common themes, we can begin to discern among desires that may be material in nature, relational desires, self-development desires, career or educational desires, and aspirations to serve others and connect with our community. By noticing our inner reaction to the values-based goals, we can narrow down our many responses to a handful of options that energize us and fire our imagination. We can then work through a reverse-engineering process that links our most-cherished aspirations with our current situation in life. This process of working backwards from the future to the present will suggest a number of steps we can begin to take today toward our goals.

Living with purpose involves clarifying our core values and then engaging our imagination to envision future activities that can be powerful expressions of these cherished values. Practicing the lottery question technique is practical way start the process of aligning our daily schedule with activities that will bring higher levels of meaning into our life.

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Although there are not as many books and resources about it, the topic of friendship comes up often in therapy. In a general sense, problems with friends and friendship fall into one of two broad categories: problems with the relationship dynamics in existing friendships, or the lack of friends and meaningful friendships.

In this episode, we begin by discussing the evolution of friendship over the lifespan. We discuss how many people form their first close friendships and friend groups, and we examine how the nature and composition of these relationships will change as we pass through different stages of life.

By reviewing how life stages affect our relationships, we can begin to understand the problems in relationship dynamics that form in friend groups over time. Most often, tension with our existing friends arises when our lives take us in different directions. By allowing for grace and dedicating ourselves to communicating more openly, we can renew the bond of friendship and allow for a more flexible and resilient relationship that can grow and adapt to the changing circumstances in our lives. Friendships that last over time tend to allow for growth and change in the individuals who share affection and common values.

For people who find themselves without meaningful friendships, it can be difficult to make friends as adults, a fairly common topic in psychotherapy. First, we discuss how our attitude and social behavior influence our chances of making meaningful connections with new people we meet. While we are often worried about our own presentation, we need to learn to focus on and express interest in other people in order to facilitate connecting with them. Second, we discuss how identifying our values and seeking opportunities to engage in social activities that emphasize these important personal values will give us the best chance of connecting in meaningful ways with other people.

As with all of our relationships, the path to enjoying fulfilling friendships lies in expressing genuine interest in others and creating opportunities to engage in social activities that reflect our core values.

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This episode is an in-depth discussion of meditation as it is specifically used in Behavioral Health settings to produce positive effects on psychological well-being. First, we discuss what meditation is, starting with a good definition: that it is a practice in which an individual uses a technique to train attention and awareness, to achieve a mentally clear and emotionally calm state, and to attain spiritual enlightenment. We break down these components of meditation and explain how meditation in psychological treatment focuses on the initial elements of this definition. We will contrast the meditation used in behavioral health from the kind that is designed for spiritual enlightenment.

Meditating for psychological well-being can be done by a wide range of people from different backgrounds. It does not require adopting any particular spiritual, religious, or cultural belief system. We explore the three general categories of meditation practices based on the type of focus used. We also distinguish meditation from a couple of related practices that might produce meditative states, but which are not the same as a pure meditation practice that yields the most direct benefits for our mental health.

Second, we explore why meditation is often a component of mind-body psychological approaches. We discuss a brief overview of the many benefits of meditation. We also address some of the most common questions and concerns people bring up in the clinic related to the practice of meditation, including some of the reasons people why some people try meditating but are not able to stick with it long enough to experience any benefit from it.

Third, we will describe a simple and accessible technique for meditating that anyone can practice which is designed to produce numerous benefits for psychological health. Specific instructions are given regarding: what to focus on, how to sit, what to wear, what to do with your hands, and how to clear the mind and regain focus. By implementing this simple and practical technique, anyone can begin a meditation practice and begin to experience increased ability to pay attention, improved ability to focus our awareness, greater mental clarity, and emotional calmness.

In this episode, we will learn a technique for meditation that is a simple and practical way for anyone to gain the many psychological benefits associated with a regular meditation practice.

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This second episode focusing on the experience of chronic pain focuses on how psychologists and counselors support the patient in pain treatment. We first discuss how a person being treated for chronic pain would come to also be in psychological treatment. There are two pathways: the patient may be referred by their treating physician, or the patient may refer themselves.

Physicians who treat pain tend to refer a patient to therapy for one of three general reasons. First, the physician may be considering a medication treatment plan that involves the use of powerful, pain-relieving opiate medication. When a physician is planning to pursue this form of treatment, it is usually recommended for the patient to be evaluated for risk factors that might argue against that treatment approach. In these cases, the physician may refer the patient for an Opioid Risk Evaluation. Second, if a patient might benefit from the implantation of a medical device, such as Spinal Cord or Peripheral Nerve Stimulator, their doctor may refer the patient for a psychological evaluation. This step is typically required by most major insurance carriers before they will pre-authorize such a procedure. The focus of the Device Evaluation is to ensure that the patient is informed about the procedure and does not have any history that might contraindicate the implantation of a durable medical device. Third, if a physician observes that some aspect of the pain treatment is causing excessive stress to a patient in a way that might be making treatment more difficult for that patient, the doctor may refer them for psychological support. These types of referrals fall under the general heading of treatment interference, meaning that the patient’s stress level might be making their recovery from chronic pain more difficult or even ineffective.

When a person in pain treatment recognizes that some aspect of the process is causing them difficulty, that person may choose to seek psychological support on their own. This is a self-referral to therapy. The therapist will listen to and support the patient in expressing their concerns and work with that person to develop affirmative strategies to cope with the stress of their pain treatment.

Once a patient is in therapy, there are several cognitive-behavioral approaches that can help them adjust to their medical treatment and get the most benefit from it. Mind-body approaches that facilitate self-regulation while supporting healthy adjustment of expectations are beneficial to patients in treatment. Helping the patient manage their communication with the treatment team is also a way to reduce stress and provide better feedback about the medical treatment plan. Keeping a pain journal, using a treatment tracker, and having a support & recovery plan all help the patient stay actively engaged in treatment and cope more successfully with what can often be a stressful experience.

By engaging psychological support as they undergo pain treatment, a person can draw on proven interventions and coping skills to make the pain journey less stressful and to make pain treatment more effective.

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