Showing results by narrator "Johnny Heller" in All Categories

Quixotic is a word that the dictionary defines as "extravagantly chivalrous or romantic; visionary...." and that is a fitting definition, indeed, for this charming retelling of Don Quixote, the 17t- century Spanish classic by Miguel de Cervantes, now updated for the modern listener. The gallant and fragile Quixote will touch listeners, as will his faithful squire Sancho Panza and the tragically beautiful heroine of the gentle Don’s chivalries, the fair Dulcinea.

Sixth-grader Milo Neal plans to do a science project on "The Complete Life Cycle of a Link in the Food Chain". But when he brings his specimen - a baby chick - to class, everyone falls in love with the cute ball of fluff. Soon she has a name: Henrietta. Not only is Henrietta the class pet, she's even chosen as mascot for the school hockey team! How can Milo finish his project, which calls for frying up his specimen and serving it to the judges of the science fair?

Hector, Terrence, and Dee have always wondered about their school lunch lady. What does she do when she isn't dishing out the daily special? Where does she live? Does she have a lot of cats at home? Little do they know, Lunch Lady doesn't just serve sloppy joes—she serves justice! Whatever danger lies ahead, it's no match for Lunch Lady in these two exciting adventures packed into one audiobook!

After fleeing Los Angeles during the last, desperate throes of the DRYP pandemic, medical resident Susan Barry and critically injured oil company executive Alan Wheeler know their toehold on survival in rural Liberty Valley won’t last. They need food, fuel, and help. At first, they reach out to other survivors by radio, but when a mysterious code starts, the other survival colonies disappear from the air one by one.

H. Bagwell Glomus built an empire out of cereal. In the 1920s, his Oaty Crisps were the most popular breakfast in the United States, and Mr. Glomus was the wealthiest man in the little town of Gildersleeve, Massachusetts. But he was not a happy man. In 1936, he took his own life and his will was never found. Legend has it that his last will and testament is hidden somewhere in his office, but so far, no one has been able to find it and claim the ten thousand dollar reward. Yet, no one has looked as hard as Johnny Dixon.

Seth Grahame-Smith delivers the definitive, essential guide to making it through a horror movie in one piece. As hilarious as it is useful (if you’re trapped in a scary flick, that is), How to Survive a Horror Movie covers all the bases. Trapped in a haunted house? Check. Stalked by an evil doll? Check. Wandering aimlessly through the remains of the old world as a plague of zombies sweeps over the planet? Check.

On October 3, 2005, Kapacziewski and his soldiers were coming to the end of their tour in Northern Iraq when their convoy was attacked by enemy fighters. A grenade fell through the gunner’s hatch and exploded, shattering Kapacziewski’s right leg below the knee, damaging his right hip, and severing a nerve and artery in his right arm. He endured more than forty surgeries, but his right leg still wasn’t healing as he had hoped, so in March 2007, Kapacziewski chose to have it amputated.

There’s no doubt about it: These kids are nerds. Awkward, unpopular, uncool as uncool can be—and yet, there’s something about these “nerds” that nobody else knows. These dweebs are actually superspies who use their dorky skills to battle the evil Hyena and other villainous baddies.

Combat veteran and author Hans Halberstadt takes listeners deeper inside the elusive world of snipers than ever before, from recruitment and training to the brutality of the killing fields. Based on hundreds of hours of exclusive interviews, Halberstadt gets inside the sniper mind and shows how snipers think and interact with each other, how missions are planned and executed, how the weapons work, and even what happens when a bullet finally strikes its target.

There are only a few hundred snipers from all the services put together in combat at any one time, making this true inside story a rare and important event.

Carl and his 15-year-old cousin stumble into a clearing to find the small tarpaper shack with the smoke coming out of the chimney. It may belong to a trapper. Or it could belong to a woodsy - a man who live in the woods because he can’t be with other people. But with night advancing quickly, the boys know they must find shelter from the coming storm - and fast. And that’s how they first meet the Foxman, a strange recluse with a face hideously deformed by a wartime injury. While Carl is just as glad to leave the shack after the storm, his cousin feels strangely drawn to the Foxman.

After decades covering war and disaster, best-selling author and acclaimed satirist P. J. O'Rourke takes on his scariest subjects yet: business, investment, finance, and the political chicanery behind them. Want to get rich overnight for free in three easy steps with no risk? Then don't buy this audiobook. This is P. J. at his finest, an audiobook not to be missed.

You're going to wish you never got this audiobook. Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school. Unfortunately, Cracked.com is more than happy to fill you in. Think you're going to choose whether or not to buy this book? Scientists say your brain secretly makes all your decisions 10 seconds before you even know what they are.

Take a bite out of the newest Vampire Files! A delicious new novel of the The Vampire files - in which our undead detective finds himself caught in the middle of a Chicago gangland war!

Insults are part of the fabric of daily life. But why do we insult each other? Why do insults cause us such pain? Can we do anything to prevent or lessen this pain? Most importantly, how can we overcome our inclination to insult others? In A Slap in the Face, William Irvine undertakes a wide-ranging investigation of insults, their history, the role they play in social relationships, and the science behind them.

Willful and high-spirited, exerting his independence at every turn, 10-year-old Robert "Robbie" Burns Hewitt plans to live life to the fullest - because the world is going to end at the turn of the century anyway! The year 1900 is fast approaching. Robbie decides that living by The Ten Commandments, which have been drilled into his head by his preacher father, is not meant for him - since he "ain’t got the knack for holiness." On his quest to be his own person, he stirs up trouble daily.

On a country lane in snowbound 1950s New Hampshire, a car goes skidding off the road. Professor Childermass and Johnny Dixon escape unscathed, but their car is stuck, and they are forced to walk into town. Johnny doesn’t mind. A curious young man, he has fun anytime the professor takes him out, because he’s treated like an adult. Together they’ve gotten into all sorts of supernatural scrapes, and this winter night they’ll face their toughest challenge yet. When Childermass suddenly vanishes, Johnny is the only one who can find him.

Elijah Rable rides into Destitution looking for some fun but ends up with a badge on his chest, a price on his head, and two women vying for his heart. Destitution is just a miserable little frontier town in the middle of nowhere. So why is the air thick with fear and greed? And why are its most powerful citizens hiring gunslingers? Joined by a female sharpshooter with more grit than a sandstorm, Rable gets busy trying to solve the mystery. But he’d better be quick if he wants to stop the war, save the folks counting on him, and get out of Destitution alive.

Detroit, mid-1930s: In a city abuzz over its unrivaled sports success, gun-loving baseball fan Dayton Dean became ensnared in the nefarious and deadly Black Legion. The secretive, Klan-like group was executing a wicked plan of terror, murdering enemies, flogging associates, and contemplating armed rebellion. The Legion boasted tens of thousands of members across the Midwest, among them politicians and prominent citizens - even, possibly, a beloved athlete.

Best-selling author Dan Gutman delights young listeners with the what-if appeal and gentle humor of his Baseball Card Adventures, featuring a time-travelling boy who loves baseball. When Stosh travels into the past to meet Roberto Clemente, a legendary ballplayer and a beloved humanitarian, he’s got only one goal - to warn Roberto not to get on the doomed plane that will end his life in a terrible crash.

A heartbreaking novel that offers no easy answers, Give a Boy a Gun addresses the growing problem of school violence. Although it is a work of fiction, it could tragically be the leading nightly news story in any community. After a high school shooting at her alma mater, a college journalism student returns home to interview students, teachers, parents, and friends of the suspects. Intermingled with her interviews are journal entries written by the two troubled boys responsible for the shooting.