We Need to Hang Out

A Memoir of Making Friend

By: Billy Baker

Narrated by: Billy Baker

In this “entertaining mix of social science, memoir, and humor, as if a Daniel Goleman book were filtered through the lens of Will Ferrell” (The New York Times Book Review) a middle-aged man embarks on an entertaining and relatable quest to reprioritize his ties with his buddies and forge new friendships, all while balancing work, marriage, and kids.

At the age of forty, having settled into his busy career and active family life, Billy Baker discovers that he’s lost something crucial along the way: his friends. Other priorities always seemed to come first, until all his close friendships became distant memories. When he takes an assignment to write an article about the modern loneliness epidemic, he realizes just how common it is to be a middle-aged loner: almost fifty million Americans over the age of forty-five, especially men, suffer from chronic loneliness, which the surgeon general has declared one of the nation’s “greatest pathologies,” worse than smoking, obesity, or heart disease in increasing a person’s risk for premature death. Determined to defy these odds, Baker vows to salvage his lost friendships and blaze a path for men (and women) everywhere to improve their relationships old and new.

From leading a buried treasure hunt with his old college crew to organizing an impromptu “ditch day” for dozens of his former high school classmates to essentially starting a frat house for middle-aged guys in his neighborhood, Baker experiments with ways to keep in touch with his friends no matter how hectic their lives are—with surprising and deeply satisfying results.

Along the way, he talks to experts in sociology and psychology to investigate how such naturally social creatures as humans could become so profoundly isolated today. And he turns to real-life experts in lasting friendship, bravely joining a cruise packed entirely with crowds of female BFFs and learning the secrets of male bonding from a group of older dudes who faithfully meet up on the same night every week. “A refreshing and entertaining personal perspective on why men need male friends” (Kirkus Reviews, starred review), We Need to Hang Out is a celebration of companionship that is bursting with humor, candor, and charm.

Would've been good pre-Covid, even better now.

I feel like I'm right in the author's target audience for this. Male in his Sophomore or Junior year of middle-aged I think was his term. We've got all these people we're connected to but probably not as tight as we think (or would like to be). He weaves the research into his own story about getting better connections in his life in a way that doesn't feel like you're getting a lecture. You're on this journey with him and you care how it's turns out. So glad he read it himself. Can't say if it would be as impactful for women (which is an odd statement for a book with a part about a New Kids on the Block fan cruise), but as a guy I loved this. Listened to it in one day and immediately sent the link to my crew of friends.

The Prescription for Loneliness!

We all need to take time to listen to this book. Our world has really pulled us away from what is vital to our health. This book is the prescription to get our health back!

Worth the listen.

I'm 32, spend most of my time alone and seeing how the next chapters of my life are going to be more of the same if I don't make a change. I don't have the answers but now I have a few things I can try out and dig deeper into.

One of the good ones

Awesome and entertaining book. Author is funny and he tells his story in a relatable way that causes you to think about how you can improve your own friendships and relationships.