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All the Rage
- Mothers, Fathers, and the Myth of Equal Partnership
- Narrated by: Abby Craden
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
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Publisher's summary
Picking up where All Joy and No Fun left off, All the Rage sets out to understand why, in an age of so-called equality, full-time working mothers still carry.
The inequity of domestic life is one of the most profound and perplexing conundrums of our time. In an era of seemingly unprecedented feminist activism, enlightenment, and change, data shows that one area of gender inequality stubbornly remains: the unequal amount of parental work that falls on women, no matter their class or professional status. All the Rage investigates the cause of this pervasive inequity to answer why, in households where both parents work full-time, mothers’ contributions - even those women who earn more than their partners - still outweigh fathers’ when it comes to raising children and maintaining a home.
How can this be? How, in a culture that has studied and lauded the benefits of fathers’ being active, present partners in child-rearing - benefits that extend far beyond the well-being of the kids themselves - can a commitment to fairness in marriage melt away upon the arrival of children?
Darcy Lockman drills deep to find answers, exploring how the feminist promise of true domestic partnership almost never, in fact, comes to pass. Starting with her own case study as ground zero, she moves outward, chronicling the experiences of a diverse cross-section of women raising children with men; visiting new mothers’ groups and pioneering co-parenting specialists; and interviewing experts across academic fields, from gender studies professors and anthropologists to neuroscientists and primatologists.
Lockman identifies three tenets that have upheld the cultural gender division of labor and peels back the reasons both men and women are culpable. Her findings are startling - and offer a catalyst for true change.
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In this timely and necessary book, New York Times opinion writer Jessica Grose dismantles two hundred years of unrealistic parenting expectations and empowers today’s mothers to make choices that actually serve themselves, their children, and their communities.
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Well done - leaves a little to be desired
- By Chendo on 12-29-22
By: Jessica Grose
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How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids
- By: Jancee Dunn
- Narrated by: Jancee Dunn
- Length: 7 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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A hilariously candid account of one woman's quest to bring her post-baby marriage back from the brink, with life-changing, real-world advice.
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Not quite what I was hoping for.
- By Oldschoolreasons on 04-25-19
By: Jancee Dunn
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Fed Up
- Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward
- By: Gemma Hartley
- Narrated by: Therese Plummer
- Length: 8 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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A rousing call to arms, packed with surprising insights, that explores how carrying "the mental load" - the thankless day-to-day anticipating of needs and solving of problems large and small - is adversely affecting women’s lives and feeding gender inequality, and shows the way forward for better balancing our lives.
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5% helpful content, 95% rant and repeat
- By SideQuest on 11-25-18
By: Gemma Hartley
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To Have and to Hold
- Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma
- By: Molly Millwood
- Narrated by: Molly Millwood
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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A clinical psychologist’s exploration of the modern dilemmas women face in the wake of new motherhood. When Molly Millwood became a mother, she was fully prepared for what she would gain: an adorable baby boy; hard-won mothering skills; and a messy, chaotic, beautiful life. But what she did not expect was what she would lose: aspects of her identity, a baseline level of happiness, a general sense of well-being.
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Pretty good
- By C Sandell on 03-07-21
By: Molly Millwood
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Equal Partners
- Improving Gender Equality at Home
- By: Kate Mangino
- Narrated by: Suehyla El-Attar
- Length: 9 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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As American society shut down due to COVID, millions of women had to leave their jobs to take on full-time childcare. As the country opens back up, women continue to struggle to balance the demands of work and home life. Kate Mangino, a professional facilitator for twenty years, has written a comprehensive, practical guide for listeners and their partners about gender norms and household balance. Yes, part of our gender problem is structural, and that requires policy change. But much of our gender problem is social, and that requires us to change.
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Very much needed book
- By joey on 08-21-22
By: Kate Mangino
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Emotional Labor
- The Invisible Work Shaping Our Lives and How to Claim Our Power
- By: Rose Hackman
- Narrated by: Rose Hackman
- Length: 8 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Emotional labor is essential to our society and economy, but it’s so often invisible. In this groundbreaking, journalistic deep dive, Rose Hackman shares the stories of hundreds of women, tracing the history of this kind of work and exposing common manifestations of the phenomenon. But Hackman doesn’t simply diagnose a problem—she empowers us to combat this insidious force and forge pathways for radical evolution, justice, and change.
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Fantastic
- By Amazon Customer on 04-17-23
By: Rose Hackman
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Fair Play
- A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live) (Reese's Book Club)
- By: Eve Rodsky
- Narrated by: Eve Rodsky
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Fair Play is a time- and anxiety-saving system that offers couples a completely new way to divvy up chores and responsibilities. Rodsky interviewed more than 500 men and women from all walks of life to figure out what the invisible work in a family actually entails and how to get it all done efficiently. With four easy-to-follow rules, 100 household tasks, and a series of conversation starters for you and your partner, Fair Play helps you prioritize what's important to your family and who should take the lead on every chore from laundry to homework to dinner.
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For Coupled People
- By Brandy Patrick on 10-02-19
By: Eve Rodsky
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Rage Becomes Her
- The Power of Women's Anger
- By: Soraya Chemaly
- Narrated by: Soraya Chemaly
- Length: 11 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Women are angry, and it isn’t hard to figure out why. We are underpaid and overworked. Too sensitive or not sensitive enough. Too dowdy or too made-up. Too big or too thin. Sluts or prudes. We are harassed, told we are asking for it, and asked if it would kill us to smile. Yes, yes it would. Contrary to the rhetoric of popular “self-help” and an entire lifetime of being told otherwise, our rage is one of the most important resources we have, our sharpest tool against both personal and political oppression.
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Holy Raging Hell
- By Enid Quimby on 10-17-18
By: Soraya Chemaly
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Entitled
- How Male Privilege Hurts Women
- By: Kate Manne
- Narrated by: Cynthia Farrell
- Length: 6 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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In this bold and stylish critique, Cornell philosopher Kate Manne offers a radical new framework for understanding misogyny. Ranging widely across the culture, from Harvey Weinstein and the Brett Kavanaugh hearings to “Cat Person” and the political misfortunes of Elizabeth Warren, Manne’s book shows how privileged men’s sense of entitlement - to sex, yes, but more insidiously to admiration, care, bodily autonomy, knowledge, and power - is a pervasive social problem with often devastating consequences.
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New to the subject
- By Bruno on 08-20-20
By: Kate Manne
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Feminism Is for Everybody
- Passionate Politics
- By: bell hooks
- Narrated by: Robin Miles
- Length: 4 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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What is feminism? In this short, accessible primer, Bell Hooks explores the nature of feminism and its positive promise to eliminate sexism, sexist exploitation, and oppression. With her characteristic clarity and directness, Hooks encourages readers to see how feminism can touch and change their lives - to see that feminism is for everybody.
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Excellent Introduction to Feminism
- By Listens-a-lot on 03-29-18
By: bell hooks
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Down Girl
- The Logic of Misogyny
- By: Kate Manne
- Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
- Length: 10 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Misogyny is a hot topic, yet it's often misunderstood. What is misogyny, exactly? Who deserves to be called a misogynist? How does misogyny contrast with sexism, and why is it prone to persist - or increase - even when sexist gender roles are waning? This book is an exploration of misogyny in public life and politics by the moral philosopher Kate Manne. It argues that misogyny should not be understood primarily in terms of the hatred or hostility some men feel toward all or most women. Rather, it's primarily about controlling, policing, punishing, and exiling the "bad" women.
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Five Star Book w/bad Narration
- By Cherrybomb on 02-08-19
By: Kate Manne
What listeners say about All the Rage
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- LivB
- 07-01-20
Bravo
Such a great book. It is well thought out and written. I personally loved hearing the research and data driven analysis behind all the points and chapters. Worth another read/hearing.
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- Saige R.
- 12-07-22
Omg, finally someone who gets it!
Loved it. Well voiced and not bland or flat. So happy I found this book. I literally cried to have someone finally understand what I've been trying to communicate to my husband about teamwork in our relationship and not wanting to tell him to do things. He's not a kid, lol, so he should be capable of see full trash = take out trash. Having the burden of "tell me what we need to do" is draining. Like, how could I know if I didn't go look either? Just check it! Example, but yeah.
EDIT: changing to 4 stars. I had my husband sit with me to listen to this and while it has given us some language to use like "stonewalling" and "cognitive load", much of the dialog reads as a lengthy complaint. I don't think we need three chapters at the beginning to describe women's discontent, though the data offered about couples who really are equal having more sexis an important one. Like, no duh. If she feels supported and not like a slave, of course she'll like you more. You have to be attracted to someone to want to have sex with them (usually), and how can you want that when you're full of resentment and wondering if you should just divorce and run away? Haha. But the reason I'm knocking it down a star is because it doesn't provide productive solutions to the problem. It states the problem with lots of reasons men should want to be equals and maybe don't know how to be, but doesn't give you something to work on or with to improve the situation. I would pair it with something that has constructive how tos with it.
For me, this is a huge part of the baby making decision. I already have my hands full. There's no flipping way I'm adding a second dependent on me to the equation, especially one that definitely can't help themselves for 4-6 years depending on intelligence.
My husband has started trying more, but I still get more "send me a list" or "did you venmo me for my half of the grocery?" when he could do all that himself. But listening to this together has enabled me to stop enabling his helplessness. When he does that, I say, "I'm not the house manager. Why don't you go peek at the laundry a few times a week to see if it needs to be done?" He came home with groceries the other day, though it was mostly stuff from our list on the fridge, he usually never does any shopping, so that's a big step in the right direction already. I'm trying to ease him into being independent as a human again, but also stepping back more to let him just think about things and deal with them.
Ladies, make your husbands listen to this with you if you entered the relationship as equals and he was absolutely on board about it in the past. If they still don't get it after this and want to improve sharing cognitive load of family and home tasks, they never will. Run. Don't have kids with that person.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Brooks Rainey Pearson
- 06-12-19
Must read for men
It was almost overwhelming how often this book described the patterns of inequity that exist in my own marriage, and the things my wife says her friends also experience with their husbands. The mental load is a real thing, and this book is an incredible resource for helping to get your head out of your ...
Any man who is surprised by the resentment women feel needs to read this.
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7 people found this helpful
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- Sarah
- 01-04-20
Worth a read
Though there is a fair amount of research cited, this book is mostly a nuanced articulation of the challenges working mothers face around division of household and childcare labor. Understanding that this is indeed happening is a crucial step towards changing it.
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- Louisa Maria Korkie
- 10-03-20
A book for any couple thinking of having kids
This book had some great insights backed by science. There are few mothers who wouldn't connect with the stories in this book. I wish it wasn't so heavily targeted at women as I think this should be mandatory reading for men in committed relationships.
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- Lisa
- 06-06-19
Amazing book!
Thank you for putting down on paper everything that women all over the world have known and felt for decades. I feel seen and heard. I feel validated. I feel overwhelmed with what we are trying to achieve as women in this world. The weight of it seems to always fall to us, but hopefully, men will read this book as well and finally take it upon themselves to pick up their equal share and do the right thing... and their kids will see them doing it.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Elizabeth
- 01-20-20
FINALLY, an author comes along and NAILS it!
I'm a mother of 2, married to a progressive husband who, in so many ways, is my very best friend. Before we had children, we knew one another for well over a decade and I would have insisted on his being a feminist and egalitarian thinker. Again, before we had children. Then, somehow, little by little and, then, all at once, the lion's share of domestic labor fell into my lap. Not only the obvious stuff like childcare. Something more insidious set in, as my head filled with mental lists, the work of "noticing" detailed necessities around the household, a kind of air-traffic-control of domestic details swirling around my head, daily. The laundry, replenishing groceries, responding to bday party RSVP's, clipping toe nails, brushing teeth, all of the things, that, taken together, add up to our children's quality of life.
In short, responsibility for the standards we live in, they fell on me. The cost has been my freedom, and the effect--as Ms. Lockman puts it--is my shocking new status as second class citizen in my own home.
Not to mention, similar to Ms. Lockman, I never saw it coming.
Before I read this book, I could never seem to locate any articles, parenting blogs, FB posts, academic articles or anything that would describe so precisely the nuances of this horrendous cycle. Always, the writing seemed to fall short, misidentifying the central role that men play in generating the problem. Failing to identify it as their issue before it spills over to become a dynamic matter, between us.
Then I picked up ALL THE RAGE, and Ms. Lockman finally, FINALLY spoke to the sophisticated presentation of this issue, of supposedly 'progressive' men who seem entirely unaware that their ideas of equality do more to change their perceptions of themselves than they do to actually change their day-to-day behavior.
ALL THE RAGE gets to the heart of the matter: casting aside comparisons between modern day progressive men vs the Don Draper dads of the past, instead directing our attention where it truly belongs: an unapologetic, side-by-side comparison of the workload **between fathers and mothers**. Are men allowed to get away with doing less--at the expense of their partners? THAT is the question. Period. Point blank. And, if so, then why?
Ms. Lockman draws upon history and social science research, but her focus is squarely on the personal. So accurate are her nuanced descriptions of these every day inequities, I felt she was with me in my home, observing and writing about the most complicated and confusing points of tension between my husband and I, as we struggle to reconcile who we thought we would be as parents with who we really are. The takeaways are validating, heartbreaking and enraging all the at once.
Brava! Thank you Ms. Lockman, for directing the conversation where it truly belongs, finally.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Erin
- 05-21-19
The book that more women need
This book was amazing! It really laid out my biggest concerns about having children and made me feel like I'm no longer being gaslighted. Women doing most of the work of childcare is a result of our patriarchal society and deep socialization... It is NOT "natural". We need to fight the system and I feel like this book is a great start. We need to fight the system for everyone's happiness.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Heather Bruhn
- 08-01-19
Validating
Loved the content and the performance. This book is everything I've felt for so many years actually written out and explained.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Aurelian Cotuna
- 02-01-20
A great book, eye opening if you are a man
Reading this book I had the chance to see a different perspective on parenting and on house labouring and distribution of tasks.
I believe that both men and women need to be equally involved into a relationship and into parenting.
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