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The Dance of Anger
- A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships
- Narrado por: Harriet Lerner
- Duración: 3 h y 2 m
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Resumen del Editor
In this vivid, engaging and eminently wise work, Dr. Lerner teaches women to identify the true sources of anger and to use anger as a powerful vehicle for creating meaningful and lasting change. The challenge of anger is at the heart of our struggle with intimacy, self-esteem, and joy. The Dance of Anger has inspired more "You changed my life" stories from both women and men than perhaps any other best seller on the American scene today.
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In her most affirming and life-changing book yet, Dr. Harriet Lerner teaches us how to restore love and connection with the people who matter the most. In The Dance of Connection we learn what to say (and not say).
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The Dance of Intimacy takes a careful look at relationships where intimacy is most challenged by too much emotional distance, too much intensity, or simply too much pain. In clear, direct, and dramatic terms, Dr. Lerner illustrates how we can move differently in these relationships, be they with a distant or unfaithful spouse, a depressed sister, a difficult mother, an alcoholic father, an uncommitted lover, a dying parent, or an estranged family member.
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Written from her dual perspective as a psychologist and a mother, Lerner brings us deeply personal tales that run the gamut from the hilarious to the heart-wrenching. From birth or adoption to the empty nest, The Mother Dance teaches the basic lessons of motherhood: that we are not in control of what happens to our children, that most of what we worry about doesn't happen, and that our children will love us with all our imperfections if we can do the same for them.
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Its worth a listen.
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Elaine Aron follows up her best sellers on the highly sensitive person with a groundbreaking new book on the undervalued self. She explains that self-esteem results from having a healthy balance of love and power in our lives. Readers will learn to incorporate love into situations that seem to require power and deal with power struggles that mask themselves as issues of love.
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Life Changing!
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Not what I would recommend as a therapist who works primarily with children
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PERFECT RESOURCE FOR SEPARATED/DIVORCED
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I needed this.
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Boring and patronizing
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lifesaver!
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Best-selling author Dr. John Townsend teaches you that love can actually be learned and gives you the steps and tools to become skilled in love. Using his trademark stories to flesh out the important principles, Dr. Townsend covers receiving love, connecting love, healing love, confronting love, romantic love, and surrendering love. Through his teaching, listeners will discover - and start enjoying - the words, actions, and experiences of authentic love.
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Very insightful
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Our Elders Really are the Experts!
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Lo que los oyentes dicen sobre The Dance of Anger
Calificaciones medias de los clientesReseñas - Selecciona las pestañas a continuación para cambiar el origen de las reseñas.
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- Scott
- 09-10-12
Dance of Anger
What did you love best about The Dance of Anger?
I liked the way it was formatted, it made it easy to follow. It was relatable to everyday life and certain current & past situations.
What was one of the most memorable moments of The Dance of Anger?
The overall discussion of the fear of standing up for yourself because of the confrontations that it can cause.
Which scene was your favorite?
There was no one point that stood out above any other. I found value throughout all the sections.
What did you learn from The Dance of Anger that you would use in your daily life?
Because of the volume of information in the book I will need to listen to it a second time before pulling things out to use. The author recommends you review the book to get the most out of the book.
Any additional comments?
The only thing that detracted from the book was the tone of the reader. The reader was monotone and dry. The information was valuable enough so it wasn't to hard to get past that and listen.
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- Leigha Heydt
- 04-15-20
Not Outdated! Universally Relevant!
Wow! I’m blown away that I did not stumble upon this book until now. I’m a 46 year old woman, in a long term marriage, with an 8 year old daughter. I’ve had a successful professional career and have been slightly obsessed with personal growth for the last 5 years, reading just about anything I can get my hands onto.
The concepts in this book are so helpful and simple that I am finding myself literally stunned that they had not been described to me before in years of therapy, with three different therapist! Im not saying I have regrets, but I could have saved thousands of dollars and gotten to the issue more directly with this book.
While the concepts are incredibly simple and accurate, I expect the solutions to be extremely difficult to implement and integrate, as the author even cautions, but worth it.
I agree with other reviewers that gender neutrality could be helpful in applying these concepts more widely on many levels. However, I also see this book as a moment in time, and sadly recognize the current state of continued inequality in power between the sexes, and the role we play as women in perpetuating that inequality, often subconsciously.
The personal examples had me riveted and unable to put the book down. My mouth literally gapped open at the similarities between the examples and my own experiences. It’s so comforting to know it’s such a prevalent dynamic.
Also, a word about the narration. I tend to prefer it when authors read their own non-fiction material, and this book was no exception. There is another recording, by a different narrator which people seem to like. I however found the tone of that narrator’s voice dated and slightly annoying. This recording may not be the same high quality as the other, and the author has a very slow pace, but I far prefer the author’s own inflections and was easily able to absorb the concepts and appreciated the slow pace once it unfolded.
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- Viktoriya Bogak
- 06-05-18
Highly recommend this book
This is a book not actually about the anger, but about how to talk to your loved once productively without blame and frustration.
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- Julie
- 01-21-15
Still relevant, still thinking about it
Where does The Dance of Anger rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
I don't read that many "self help" style books, so it's in its own category. But I still think about its lessons all the time, and I think it really helped me figure out some things in my own life and patterns, which I think is kind of amazing.
What other book might you compare The Dance of Anger to and why?
It's a little like Mating in Captivity--another book on relationships that brings together psychological studies and the experiences of the therapist. But I just remember the one major idea from the first book (space is sexy), and I think the Dance of Anger gave me a lot of different tools--what anger is doing for me, how to figure out the difference between which problems are mine and which are yours, and how to access my power again in any situation.
What does Harriet Lerner bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
I don't remember too much about the narration, which I think is a good thing. I think she did give it a conversational tone, which is nice.
What’s an idea from the book that you will remember?
"Whose problem is this?" When you get mad or have a fight, piece apart which things are about your past, your emotions, and your actions, and which belong to the other person. It helps remind you of what you have control over and what you don't, and to take responsibility for your own emotions and actions while still communicating with kindness.
Any additional comments?
It was written in a different time--I think relationships have changed a lot with feminism since the '80s. But we still have the same problems, and the book is definitely still very relevant. I recommend it to all my friends--even the guys, who I think would really benefit from the lessons in here too.
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- Tricia
- 06-04-09
This book changed my life
This book was recommended to me. I have ADD so books are hard to read so I bought this in audio form. It's easy to listen to. But everything makes so much sense. It changed all my relationships for the better, even the ones that I didn't think needed to be fixed. I recommend it to anyone with relationship issues, whether it's your parent/child relationship, inlaw relationship, husband/wife relationship, sibling relationship, etc.
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- Nicole H
- 05-16-15
Great book!
Full of examples to help apply to your life.
I would highly recommend this book to everyone. Angry is a tricky thing and this book helps people use it in a healthy way. And since everyone has or should feel anger in their life, this is applicable to all.
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- Teresa
- 02-07-13
good but missing the exercises
Where does The Dance of Anger rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
It was among my favorites
Who was your favorite character and why?
I liked the author's realistic perspective
What three words best describe Harriet Lerner’s voice?
authentic, unrehearsed, familiar
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
Many of the situations were familiar
Any additional comments?
I think it would be helpful to keep this in a rotation to listen to regularly. Very helpful advice.
At the end of the audio she mentions exercises you could do, but they're not included in the audio version.
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- ILoveBooks
- 01-16-21
Content was good
I don’t enjoy listening to this....so much so that I actuallly sped it up to get through it faster. The content was good but the creepy music was horrible!
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- Florence
- 04-11-16
Excellent Advice for better communication
I never realised that anger was such an important teacher and Harriet illustrates beautifully how to use that anger for better understanding of oneself and how to better communicate one's own needs. Will definitely be using these techniques to better communicate.
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- Cynthia Nouri
- 02-22-21
Essential reading
I remember seeing the cover of this book decades ago. If only I had read it then.
It took listening to a Brene Brown podcast with Harriet about opologizing for me to run straight to this book and read it. It is the reason why I finally moved forward with an Audible account
I was not disappointed. I have had family and personal therapy through the years and have learned tidbits of what Ms Lerner teaches. In this book she gives concrete real life role playing examples of how to dramatically improve your relationships especially with self. I can’t recommend it highly enough
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