The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control

A Path to Peace and Power

By: Katherine Morgan Schafler

Narrated by: Katherine Morgan Schafler

Length: 10 hrs and 29 mins

Publisher's summary

Selected for USA Today's Best Books of 2023

Selected as Editor's Pick in Amazon's Best Books of 2023

From psychotherapist Katherine Morgan Schafler, an invitation to every “recovering perfectionist” to challenge the way they look at perfectionism, and the way they look at themselves.

We’ve been looking at perfectionism all wrong. As psychotherapist and former on-site therapist at Google Katherine Morgan Schafler argues in The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control, you don’t have to stop being a perfectionist to be healthy. For women who are sick of being given the generic advice to “find balance,” a new approach has arrived.

Which of the five types of perfectionist are you? Classic, intense, Parisian, messy, or procrastinator? As you identify your unique perfectionist profile, you'll learn how to manage each form of perfectionism to work for you, not against you. Beyond managing it, you'll learn how to embrace and even enjoy your perfectionism. Yes, enjoy!

Full of stories and brimming with humor, empathy, and depth, this book is a love letter to the ambitious, high achieving, full-of-life clients who filled the author’s private practice, and who changed her life. It’s a clarion call for all women to dare to want more without feeling greedy or ungrateful. Ultimately, this book will show you how to make the single greatest trade you’ll ever make in your life, which is to exchange superficial control for real power.

©2023 Katherine Morgan Schafler (P)2023 Penguin Audio

Critic reviews

“From an emerging thought leader, an irresistible invitation to reclaim your natural state of wholeness, your joy and your life."—Deepak Chopra, New York Times bestselling author of Abundance

"A valuable, much-needed perspective that gives you permission to be more in a world that's telling you to be less.”—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

"An accessible, actionable guide for how to aim high without overthinking or punishing yourself along the way. This book is a must-read for anxious achievers who want to remain ambitious but could operate with a bit more self-compassion."—Liz Fosslien, coauthor and illustrator of the bestselling books Big Feelings and No Hard Feelings

Loved it!

As a perfectionist I really like the approach of accepting your perfectionism and working around it so it’s beneficial for you. I always hear comments about how you shouldn’t aim for perfection but those kind of comments don’t help because they feel like going against your essence. Katherine’s approach is amazing. Really enjoyed it!

Best book I’ve read in a decade

Bookmark after bookmark. A staple read for being a better human. Especially if you’re a perfectionist! 🎯

Fantastic

This book is Incredible. So many parts of it drove me to reflect and learn about myself and how I may be perceived by others, intentionally or otherwise.

Exactly what I needed.

I’ve been a perfectionist my whole life and this is the first book that I felt really understood me and gave me permission to not have to change who I am. A must read.

Best book ever

First, this book is for anyone with perfectionist tendencies, not just women. I’m a guy and I’m on my 4th listen to this book. I’ve read a LOT of self help type books and this , for me, finally identified my issues. Im a perfectionist. Which involves a lot of other things of course.

This is far and away the most helpful book I’ve EVER listened to from any genre. The author is brilliant and has the most wonderful , soothing, professional, kind voice. Seriously. I can’t believe the revelation in my life. Thank God for Katherine.

Truly remarkable

Words won’t be able to encapsulate how I feel about this book, but it’s the dictionary definition of a GAME. CHANGER. I have listened to over 60 titles and this is my first review. I’ve never felt so seen by an author and genuinely understood. It needs to be in the hands of anyone who considers themself to be ambitious or an over-achiever, even if you don’t necessarily jive with the term ‘perfectionist’ do yourself a favor and go out on a limb that could change/save your life. Thank you deeply to Katherine Morgan Shafler for this gift to the world.

If you liked Maybe You Should Talk To Someone

then love this book. I haven’t felt this connected to a book since ^. Katherine has taken every nonsensical, binary thought in the field of psychology and turned them all into a beautiful meld of, well… perfection.

Katherine Morgan Schaffer is a brilliant guide.

Her ability to break down and analyze aspects of what drives each of us to excel, the distinction between adaptive and maladaptive perfectionism, and the clearly articulated approaches to growth and change, have all been a balm to my spirit. She shows how women can cherish this superpower, versus the shaming “baby with the bath water” attitude we’ve been subjected to for decades. This work fills me with deep gratitude and hope. Thank you.

Amazing life lessons

This book is a must read for perfectionists but honestly most everyone could gather some brilliant messages about finding inner peace. I binge listened to this whole book in a day and that won’t be the only time.

Empowering to professional women

This book is the tipping point for a cultural change in how we evaluate women and ourselves. It’s the empowering voice I want to hear in my head, clarifying why and how I give effort. The author specifically uses her experience as a therapist for female executives at Google to identify themes in barriers and opportunities for these women to be fully unleashed in their potential. Highly recommend to all professional working women and mothers.