Tropical Hazard: Oh Sh*t! Cobalins Can't Swim!
Arachnomancer, Book 3
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Tropical Hazard: Oh Sh*t! Cobalins Can't Swim!
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Narrated by:
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Qarie Marshall
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By:
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Dustin Tigner
About this listen
In a village of lazy, good-for-nothing Cobalins, one manly man—a true studly stud—stands above them all: the great, the powerful, the King of…Knock.
(Desley palms her forehead. You no be King of Shadows! Now we have to start over. Cobalins groan.)
The terrible Army of Light knows the secret location of Dedu Tedu Novus. War is here. There's absolutely no avoiding it.
Or is there?
Naturally, Dhane does the most unthinkable thing: employs an impromptu plan, his favorite type. It's dangerous, it's crazy, and it embarks them on a new adventure where it rains every day and the problems don't stop.
Can he save his village? Can he convince Challenger Sarah to help? Or is he only putting off the inevitable, the point where the Changed Reditai turn all those of Shadow into stone for their mysterious plans?
Tropical Hazard is the third installment in the hilarious—and sometimes serious—Arachnomancer series. Travel to a new zone, see the world, and eat spider tacos. Octoralis glares. Or… umm… don't. Don't do that last thing.
Notice: Arachnomancer was rated M for mature by a team of immature Cobalins. Listen at your own risk.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2024 Dustin Tigner (P)2024 Dreamscape LoreListeners also enjoyed...
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Six days ago, astronaut Mark Watney became one of the first people to walk on Mars. Now, he's sure he'll be the first person to die there. After a dust storm nearly kills him and forces his crew to evacuate while thinking him dead, Mark finds himself stranded and completely alone with no way to even signal Earth that he’s alive - and even if he could get word out, his supplies would be gone long before a rescue could arrive. But Mark isn't ready to give up yet.
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1 out of 5 stars
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I love Wil Wheaton but why not R. C. Bray?
- By L. Newman on 01-11-20
By: Andy Weir
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Starter Villain
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 11,508
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 10,210
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 10,204
Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
- By C. White on 09-19-23
By: John Scalzi
-
The Signal
- By: Eric Buchman, Gabriel Urbina, Sarah Shachat
- Narrated by: Paget Brewster, full cast
- Length: 2 hrs and 39 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,634
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,564
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 2,565
Two astronomers have detected a strange, pulsing signal from deep space. Within hours, the US government goes into lockdown, restricting airspace and scrubbing scientific data. Was the signal an intercepted communication revealing alarming plans for an enemy’s military strike? Or has humanity at long last found proof of extraterrestrial life?
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3 out of 5 stars
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it did a good job keep me listening but disappointed at the ending
- By Tristan M. on 12-21-24
By: Eric Buchman, and others
-
George Orwell’s 1984
- An Audible Original adaptation
- By: George Orwell, Joe White - adaptation
- Narrated by: Andrew Garfield, Cynthia Erivo, Andrew Scott, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 10,502
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 9,948
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 9,947
It’s 1984, and life has changed beyond recognition. Airstrip One, formerly known as Great Britain, is a place where Big Brother is always watching, and nobody can hide. Except, perhaps, for Winston Smith. Whilst working at the Ministry of Truth, rewriting history, he secretly dreams of freedom. And in a world where love and sex are forbidden, where it’s hard to distinguish between friend and foe, he meets Julia and O’Brien and vows to rebel.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A Revelation!
- By wotsallthisthen on 04-07-24
By: George Orwell, and others
-
Artemis
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Rosario Dawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 95,185
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 87,102
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 86,900
Jazz Bashara is a criminal. Well, sort of. Life on Artemis, the first and only city on the moon, is tough if you're not a rich tourist or an eccentric billionaire. So smuggling in the occasional harmless bit of contraband barely counts, right? Not when you've got debts to pay and your job as a porter barely covers the rent. Everything changes when Jazz sees the chance to commit the perfect crime, with a reward too lucrative to turn down.
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3 out of 5 stars
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A ferrari with no motor
- By will on 11-18-17
By: Andy Weir
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- By: Dustin Tigner
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Dhane kicked the bucket in spectacular fashion, every bone crushed, every organ popped against the full force of a 40-ton garbage truck speeding through a red light. The only part of him intact—whole—entirely unaffected by the grisly affair was his soul. Souls are durable things, you see, like kids: they bounce. And bounce he did, into the abyss between worlds, drifting until one excited soul watcher fished him out and found him a new home, a heaven for gamers and nerds and everything in between.
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4 out of 5 stars
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rough
- By GrimReaperD13 on 08-04-23
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Bookworm to Badass
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- Length: 15 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 38
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 29
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 29
Sarah snuffed it, expired, breathed her last breath—also known as died, if you need it spelled out—in the most unlikely of places…the library. But do not fret! This is perfectly normal. What is not normal, however, is the persistence of one’s soul after shuffling off this mortal coil. To break the Cycle is strange and wrong and perverse. It goes against the very nature of existence: lives must eventually be recycled (responsibly). Lucky or unlucky, Sarah finds herself Cycle-broken and very much alive, depending on how strict you wish to be with that definition.
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5 out of 5 stars
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This was a fun read
- By clinton on 12-20-23
By: Dustin Tigner
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Dungeon Exploiters Bundle
- The Complete GameLit Series
- By: Dustin Tigner
- Narrated by: Jackie Meloche
- Length: 41 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2
Dungeon Exploiters is the complete GameLit trilogy of the previously published Dungeon Runner series. It's full of adventures, puzzles, and unusual paths to success. Watch Entin define the role of a Dungeon Runner and Eizel uncover dangerous secrets that threaten everyone in this new virtual world with endless possibilities.
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5 out of 5 stars
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great series
- By Danielle Smith on 01-06-25
By: Dustin Tigner
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Induction
- Welcome to the Multiverse, Book 1
- By: Sean Oswald
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 12 hrs and 20 mins
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,266
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 2,026
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,026
Silas is inducted into the System, becoming the last in a long line of Earth's "forerunners." The rewards are great, but the danger is greater. We are not alone in the universe. The fate of five worlds hangs on how their forerunners perform. Will Silas have what it takes to win Earth a place in the multiverse? Or will Earth become another mining world stripped of all resources and left a barren husk floating in the cosmos?
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3 out of 5 stars
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the main characters annoying to a degree
- By Anonymous User on 11-08-23
By: Sean Oswald
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Demon Card Enforcer
- A Deck-Building LitRPG (The Cerberus Cards, Book 1)
- By: John Stovall
- Narrated by: Justin Thomas James, Jeff Hays, Tiana Camacho
- Length: 11 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 291
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 264
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 264
It’s Drop Night, the one night every decade when the gods hand out cards to a lucky few. If you get a deck, you’re a deckbearer capable of wondrous feats within the Great Game system. You can control powerful monsters and summon mantles that let you fight alongside your beasts. Ethan Wolfe, top enforcer for the Grimm family mob, has already been overlooked on two previous Drop Nights. People of his ilk seldom receive cards, as the gods tend to favor people who follow their divine mandates, but that doesn’t mean Wolfe can’t hope.
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5 out of 5 stars
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an excellent play on cards
- By Tiffany Clark on 11-15-24
By: John Stovall
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She of Many Dragons
- She of Many Dragons, Book 1
- By: Honour Rae
- Narrated by: Sarah Beth Goer
- Length: 10 hrs and 19 mins
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 128
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 108
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Living a life of grinding poverty in the General Laborer class, Alice's only hope was the System would someday notice her and reward her hard work. That day arrives when she discovers a System-seed, a one-time chance to change from the lowest to the highest of classes. Now, she is a rare minion-master in charge of an ever-growing horde of dragons. Dragons that will not stay small and cute forever. As each grows and multiplies, so does her power.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A fun and exciting story
- By Carrie Smith on 11-02-24
By: Honour Rae
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Wrong Divinity
- Oh Sh*t! I F*cking Hate Spiders! (Arachnomancer, Book 1)
- By: Dustin Tigner
- Narrated by: Qarie Marshall, Reba Buhr
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 94
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 82
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 82
Dhane kicked the bucket in spectacular fashion, every bone crushed, every organ popped against the full force of a 40-ton garbage truck speeding through a red light. The only part of him intact—whole—entirely unaffected by the grisly affair was his soul. Souls are durable things, you see, like kids: they bounce. And bounce he did, into the abyss between worlds, drifting until one excited soul watcher fished him out and found him a new home, a heaven for gamers and nerds and everything in between.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
rough
- By GrimReaperD13 on 08-04-23
By: Dustin Tigner
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Bookworm to Badass
- By: Dustin Tigner
- Narrated by: Reba Buhr
- Length: 15 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 38
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 29
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 29
Sarah snuffed it, expired, breathed her last breath—also known as died, if you need it spelled out—in the most unlikely of places…the library. But do not fret! This is perfectly normal. What is not normal, however, is the persistence of one’s soul after shuffling off this mortal coil. To break the Cycle is strange and wrong and perverse. It goes against the very nature of existence: lives must eventually be recycled (responsibly). Lucky or unlucky, Sarah finds herself Cycle-broken and very much alive, depending on how strict you wish to be with that definition.
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5 out of 5 stars
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This was a fun read
- By clinton on 12-20-23
By: Dustin Tigner
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Dungeon Exploiters Bundle
- The Complete GameLit Series
- By: Dustin Tigner
- Narrated by: Jackie Meloche
- Length: 41 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2
Dungeon Exploiters is the complete GameLit trilogy of the previously published Dungeon Runner series. It's full of adventures, puzzles, and unusual paths to success. Watch Entin define the role of a Dungeon Runner and Eizel uncover dangerous secrets that threaten everyone in this new virtual world with endless possibilities.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
great series
- By Danielle Smith on 01-06-25
By: Dustin Tigner
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Induction
- Welcome to the Multiverse, Book 1
- By: Sean Oswald
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 12 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,266
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 2,026
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,026
Silas is inducted into the System, becoming the last in a long line of Earth's "forerunners." The rewards are great, but the danger is greater. We are not alone in the universe. The fate of five worlds hangs on how their forerunners perform. Will Silas have what it takes to win Earth a place in the multiverse? Or will Earth become another mining world stripped of all resources and left a barren husk floating in the cosmos?
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3 out of 5 stars
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the main characters annoying to a degree
- By Anonymous User on 11-08-23
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Demon Card Enforcer
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- By: John Stovall
- Narrated by: Justin Thomas James, Jeff Hays, Tiana Camacho
- Length: 11 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 291
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 264
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 264
It’s Drop Night, the one night every decade when the gods hand out cards to a lucky few. If you get a deck, you’re a deckbearer capable of wondrous feats within the Great Game system. You can control powerful monsters and summon mantles that let you fight alongside your beasts. Ethan Wolfe, top enforcer for the Grimm family mob, has already been overlooked on two previous Drop Nights. People of his ilk seldom receive cards, as the gods tend to favor people who follow their divine mandates, but that doesn’t mean Wolfe can’t hope.
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5 out of 5 stars
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an excellent play on cards
- By Tiffany Clark on 11-15-24
By: John Stovall
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She of Many Dragons
- She of Many Dragons, Book 1
- By: Honour Rae
- Narrated by: Sarah Beth Goer
- Length: 10 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 128
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 108
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 108
Living a life of grinding poverty in the General Laborer class, Alice's only hope was the System would someday notice her and reward her hard work. That day arrives when she discovers a System-seed, a one-time chance to change from the lowest to the highest of classes. Now, she is a rare minion-master in charge of an ever-growing horde of dragons. Dragons that will not stay small and cute forever. As each grows and multiplies, so does her power.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A fun and exciting story
- By Carrie Smith on 11-02-24
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What listeners say about Tropical Hazard: Oh Sh*t! Cobalins Can't Swim!
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story4 out of 5 stars
- Survivor T
- 11-03-24
Funny
Several moments had me laughing. The performance was great he did a really good job. Overall an enjoyable listen.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Ben
- 11-27-24
fun world!
I really like the world I this series! this book adds a whole new level of fun! looking forward to what's next!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Peyton
- 06-30-24
Never fails to get a laugh
After unfortunately finishing the third book in this amazing series it pains me to realize that I no longer have any arachnomancer books to listen to, this travesty fills me with disappointment such as Octoralis is filled with at Dhane’s thwarting of her romantic plans.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Mi amor
- 01-14-25
The whole book
I hope you finish this book series!! I read you weren't going to. Here's to hoping!!
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