Tropical Hazard: Oh Sh*t! Cobalins Can't Swim!
Arachnomancer, Book 3
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Tropical Hazard: Oh Sh*t! Cobalins Can't Swim!
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Narrated by:
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Qarie Marshall
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By:
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Dustin Tigner
About this listen
In a village of lazy, good-for-nothing Cobalins, one manly man—a true studly stud—stands above them all: the great, the powerful, the King of…Knock.
(Desley palms her forehead. You no be King of Shadows! Now we have to start over. Cobalins groan.)
The terrible Army of Light knows the secret location of Dedu Tedu Novus. War is here. There's absolutely no avoiding it.
Or is there?
Naturally, Dhane does the most unthinkable thing: employs an impromptu plan, his favorite type. It's dangerous, it's crazy, and it embarks them on a new adventure where it rains every day and the problems don't stop.
Can he save his village? Can he convince Challenger Sarah to help? Or is he only putting off the inevitable, the point where the Changed Reditai turn all those of Shadow into stone for their mysterious plans?
Tropical Hazard is the third installment in the hilarious—and sometimes serious—Arachnomancer series. Travel to a new zone, see the world, and eat spider tacos. Octoralis glares. Or… umm… don't. Don't do that last thing.
Notice: Arachnomancer was rated M for mature by a team of immature Cobalins. Listen at your own risk.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2024 Dustin Tigner (P)2024 Dreamscape LoreListeners also enjoyed...
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- By Amazon Customer on 12-08-24
By: Eric Buchman, and others
-
Project Hail Mary
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Ray Porter
- Length: 16 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 183,625
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 167,684
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 167,131
Ryland Grace is the sole survivor on a desperate, last-chance mission - and if he fails, humanity and the Earth itself will perish. Except that right now, he doesn't know that. He can't even remember his own name, let alone the nature of his assignment or how to complete it. All he knows is that he's been asleep for a very, very long time. And he's just been awakened to find himself millions of miles from home, with nothing but two corpses for company.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Bazinga
- By Davidgonzalezsr on 05-04-21
By: Andy Weir
-
George Orwell’s 1984
- An Audible Original adaptation
- By: George Orwell, Joe White - adaptation
- Narrated by: Andrew Garfield, Cynthia Erivo, Andrew Scott, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 8,885
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 8,442
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 8,441
It’s 1984, and life has changed beyond recognition. Airstrip One, formerly known as Great Britain, is a place where Big Brother is always watching, and nobody can hide. Except, perhaps, for Winston Smith. Whilst working at the Ministry of Truth, rewriting history, he secretly dreams of freedom. And in a world where love and sex are forbidden, where it’s hard to distinguish between friend and foe, he meets Julia and O’Brien and vows to rebel.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A Revelation!
- By wotsallthisthen on 04-07-24
By: George Orwell, and others
-
Starter Villain
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 10,801
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 9,598
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 9,592
Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
- By C. White on 09-19-23
By: John Scalzi
-
The Martian
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 37,916
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 33,733
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 33,629
Six days ago, astronaut Mark Watney became one of the first people to walk on Mars. Now, he's sure he'll be the first person to die there. After a dust storm nearly kills him and forces his crew to evacuate while thinking him dead, Mark finds himself stranded and completely alone with no way to even signal Earth that he’s alive - and even if he could get word out, his supplies would be gone long before a rescue could arrive. But Mark isn't ready to give up yet.
-
1 out of 5 stars
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I love Wil Wheaton but why not R. C. Bray?
- By L. Newman on 01-11-20
By: Andy Weir
-
Artemis
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Rosario Dawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 94,754
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 86,732
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 86,530
Jazz Bashara is a criminal. Well, sort of. Life on Artemis, the first and only city on the moon, is tough if you're not a rich tourist or an eccentric billionaire. So smuggling in the occasional harmless bit of contraband barely counts, right? Not when you've got debts to pay and your job as a porter barely covers the rent. Everything changes when Jazz sees the chance to commit the perfect crime, with a reward too lucrative to turn down.
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3 out of 5 stars
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A ferrari with no motor
- By will on 11-18-17
By: Andy Weir
-
The Signal
- By: Eric Buchman, Gabriel Urbina, Sarah Shachat
- Narrated by: Paget Brewster, full cast
- Length: 2 hrs and 39 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 529
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 506
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 507
Two astronomers have detected a strange, pulsing signal from deep space. Within hours, the US government goes into lockdown, restricting airspace and scrubbing scientific data. Was the signal an intercepted communication revealing alarming plans for an enemy’s military strike? Or has humanity at long last found proof of extraterrestrial life?
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
A great new twist on the “alien conspiracy” genre
- By Amazon Customer on 12-08-24
By: Eric Buchman, and others
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5 out of 5 stars
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Silas is inducted into the System, becoming the last in a long line of Earth's "forerunners." The rewards are great, but the danger is greater. We are not alone in the universe. The fate of five worlds hangs on how their forerunners perform. Will Silas have what it takes to win Earth a place in the multiverse? Or will Earth become another mining world stripped of all resources and left a barren husk floating in the cosmos?
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3 out of 5 stars
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the main characters annoying to a degree
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Ezekiel died on Earth only to be resurrected in the body of a Lich. Well, now he’d done it. He was only playing the villain to blow off steam, now he was stuck in the body of one.
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5 out of 5 stars
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3 out of 5 stars
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Dhane kicked the bucket in spectacular fashion, every bone crushed, every organ popped against the full force of a 40-ton garbage truck speeding through a red light. The only part of him intact—whole—entirely unaffected by the grisly affair was his soul. Souls are durable things, you see, like kids: they bounce. And bounce he did, into the abyss between worlds, drifting until one excited soul watcher fished him out and found him a new home, a heaven for gamers and nerds and everything in between.
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4 out of 5 stars
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5 out of 5 stars
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Silas is inducted into the System, becoming the last in a long line of Earth's "forerunners." The rewards are great, but the danger is greater. We are not alone in the universe. The fate of five worlds hangs on how their forerunners perform. Will Silas have what it takes to win Earth a place in the multiverse? Or will Earth become another mining world stripped of all resources and left a barren husk floating in the cosmos?
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3 out of 5 stars
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the main characters annoying to a degree
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Mark’s new life begins in the worst possible place—a burned-out village haunted by undead. Each morning these ravenous creatures disappear, only to return at night, driven by a relentless hunger. He'll need to stay low and think quick, because trapped and alone in the body of a child, he can’t level up in this new world. At least not yet. Soon Mark will learn that even among the living, safety isn’t guaranteed. When the small town that he ends up in turns out to be at the center of a conspiracy that threatens the world, he'll need to uncover the truth before it's too late.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Speedrunning the Multiverse
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Behold the Multiverse! Its countless realms overflow with terrific opportunities and terrible dangers—warring sects, priceless treasures, martial techniques, and all manner of horrible monsters abound. And Dorian has conquered them all. He’s a Godking—one of the most powerful creatures to ever exist. And as he sits from his throne at the literal summit of the world, bored out of his mind, one question comes to mind: what now? Do it all again, of course! But faster.
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4 out of 5 stars
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I only got about 5 hours in
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X-Treme American Dungeon League
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Garth had been the favorite for the number-one draft pick in the next season of the USA's top sport. His college career was supposed to end on a high note… but it didn't. Sabotaged in his final game, he found himself shut out of the Dungeon League of America, forced to retire his jersey in shame. With no other options, he leaned on his university degree and became a licensed psychiatrist and therapist. That should have been the end of his dungeon-crawling days. But then, a new dungeon appeared in his city.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Hot and Hilarious
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First Necromancer: Book One
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- By: Coldfang89
- Narrated by: Christian J. Gilliland
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 318
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 295
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In just seven days, the world will crumble. The System's Descent will usher in a new era of chaos: wild animals mutating, monstrous creatures emerging, and the cessation of modern technology. Humanity will be left defenseless. Drew Wright knows none of this. At least not until he is rudely ripped from his bed and thrust into a white room to undergo a taser-happy ‘Tutorial’. Turns out, he is one of a thousand randomly selected people to be forewarned of the approaching apocalypse. Now, he faces the delightful task of convincing his wife and mother of the devastation hurtling towards them.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Deeply Irrational Main Character
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By: Coldfang89
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Rogue Ascension
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 440
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 400
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Multiverse Z came knocking, snatching all the humans from Earth to integrate with their game-like realms of magic. No warning. No tutorial. It's an instant transition where eighteen-year-old Joey Eclipse is thrust from his relaxing night playing video games to a stone room with two doors. There's nobody but him. The system messages asking some cryptic questions: [Adventurer or Commoner?] [Greatness or Steadiness?] And more. Joey made his choices, choosing the path of a Great Adventurer, a limited and special category. A unique profile is designed for him.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Name of book is deceptive. 
- By Big Reader Lit on 02-14-24
By: Hunter Mythos
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Reborn as a Demonic Tree
- An Isekai LitRPG Adventure
- By: Xkarnation
- Narrated by: Ramón De Ocampo
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,293
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,075
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,075
Ashlock wakes in the courtyard of a demonic sect... as a tree. A tree that eats people. An odd start to a new life. Almost as strange as the humans flying through the skies on flaming swords and challenging the heavens. After all, this is a world where humans could chase the goal of immortality through the art of cultivation. But Ashlock is merely a sapling in a desolate courtyard, left alone with his thoughts and unable to speak to those passing him by. Unless he does something about it.
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5 out of 5 stars
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What an amazing yet frustrating perspective
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Rise of the Living Forge
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 453
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 414
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 414
Ever since Arwin was summoned as a child, all he has known is war. And now, to claim the demon queen's life and end the war, he has to sacrifice himself. But, as he deals the final blow, the Hero of Mankind is betrayed. Caught in a magical explosion thought to end him, Arwin awakens a month later to find that everyone has already moved on. His [Hero] class has changed to a unique blacksmith Class called [The Living Forge] that is empowered by consuming magical items, but some of his old passive [Titles] remain, giving him the power to forge his new future exactly the way he wants to.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Trade
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By: Actus
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Master Class
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- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 975
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 875
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Story5 out of 5 stars 874
The Demon Lord is dead. The System is broken. Somehow, Elias Hearthsong is neither of these things, despite being at the final battle of the Demon Wars. He is a Master Enchanter, perhaps the last one alive. Determined to keep a promise, he crosses the continent to protect his dead friend's legacy: a crumbling orphanage run by a beautiful kitsune. He isn't a teacher, nor does he have experience with children. But with the love of a few good women, anything can become possible.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Ok, but authors start to make weird choices...
- By Roy on 02-16-23
By: Annabelle Hawthorne, and others
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The First Law of Cultivation
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- By: KrazeKode
- Narrated by: Pavi Proczko
- Length: 21 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 734
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 576
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 576
Lu Jie woke up in a world filled with scheming sects, arrogant young masters, and the mad chase for the immortal heavens. He wanted none of it, and soon finds himself beaten bloody in a spar he didn't remember and treated as less than worthless. But his plan to escape the sect is interrupted by an old Alchemist's pills that heal him within moments—a magical cure. These medicines ignite the flame of curiosity to learn true magic in him. Lu Jie sets out to study the truths hidden within the world, and soon finds an all new path of cultivation that could take him to the very top.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Meh. BoC was better
- By O. C. Stevens on 06-26-23
By: KrazeKode
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Apocalypse Redux, Book One
- By: Jakob H. Greif
- Narrated by: Daniel Thomas May
- Length: 15 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 678
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 562
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 562
Isaac Thoma lived to see the last handful of survivors defeat the demonic champion. He is now alone, his past in ashes, the last and most powerful human on a blighted Earth. But what if he could go back? Hurled back in time, Isaac has one chance to change it all. A chance to warn humanity of their impending doom. A chance to stop the [System] before shortsightedness and lust for power can render humanity extinct.
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5 out of 5 stars
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top tier world, no stupid MC
- By Dshoayo on 12-11-22
By: Jakob H. Greif
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Demon Card Enforcer
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 221
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It’s Drop Night, the one night every decade when the gods hand out cards to a lucky few. If you get a deck, you’re a deckbearer capable of wondrous feats within the Great Game system. You can control powerful monsters and summon mantles that let you fight alongside your beasts. Ethan Wolfe, top enforcer for the Grimm family mob, has already been overlooked on two previous Drop Nights. People of his ilk seldom receive cards, as the gods tend to favor people who follow their divine mandates, but that doesn’t mean Wolfe can’t hope.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Worth the credit, great story
- By Scot on 10-05-24
By: John Stovall
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Reborn as a Demonic Tree 3
- An Isekai LitRPG Adventure
- By: XKarnation
- Narrated by: Ramón De Ocampo
- Length: 13 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
With the conclusion of the alchemy tournament sparking the flames of a civil war between two of the most powerful families in the Blood Lotus Sect, Ashlock and his sect find themselves swept up in the conflict.
By: XKarnation
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Forge Master
- A LitRPG Adventure (The Tower Series, Book 1)
- By: Seth Ring
- Narrated by: Eric Jason Martin
- Length: 14 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,084
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 880
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 880
Ascending should have been the easy part. But after being thrown into the void, Thorn finds himself stranded in a strange world filled with even stranger creatures. Together with his cute battle pet, the mysterious god beast Hati, and a sentient AI named Eve, Thorn must forge a place for himself in this new world. Unfortunately, the local guilds all have other ideas, and soon the Titan finds himself embroiled in plots that even his famed strength cannot help him with.
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3 out of 5 stars
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NOT THE FIRST BOOK
- By Executar on 03-13-23
By: Seth Ring
What listeners say about Tropical Hazard: Oh Sh*t! Cobalins Can't Swim!
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Survivor T
- 11-03-24
Funny
Several moments had me laughing. The performance was great he did a really good job. Overall an enjoyable listen.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Peyton
- 06-30-24
Never fails to get a laugh
After unfortunately finishing the third book in this amazing series it pains me to realize that I no longer have any arachnomancer books to listen to, this travesty fills me with disappointment such as Octoralis is filled with at Dhane’s thwarting of her romantic plans.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Ben
- 11-27-24
fun world!
I really like the world I this series! this book adds a whole new level of fun! looking forward to what's next!
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