The Confidence Gap

A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt

De: Russ Harris, Steven Hayes PhD - foreword

Narrado por: Graeme Malcolm

Too many of us miss out on opportunities in life because we lack self-confidence. Whether it's public speaking, taking on a leadership role, or asking someone for a date, there are situations in which we just don't feel equipped to handle the challenges we face. Russ Harris offers a surprising solution to low self-confidence, shyness, and insecurity: Rather than trying to "get over" our fears, he says, the secret is to form a new and wiser relationship with them. Paradoxically, it's only when we stop struggling against our fearfulness that we begin to find lasting freedom from it. Drawing on the techniques of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), a cutting-edge form of cognitive-behavioral therapy, The Confidence Gap explains how to: Free yourself from common misconceptions about what confidence is and how to build it; transform your relationship with fear and anxiety; clarify your core values and use them as your inspiration and motivation; use mindfulness to effectively handle negative thoughts and feelings.

©2011 Russ Harris (P)2014 Audible Inc.

Changed my life, really.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) has changed my life, and this was the audiobook that introduced me to it. The practices of ACT have dug me out of several deep holes in my life already.

When I listened to this audiobook about a year ago, I had listened to a few audiobooks about confidence already, but this was the first one that made intuitive sense to me. I trusted the advice given, maybe because I have a background with practicing Buddhist meditation, so the mindfulness advice aligned with my beliefs.

Learning about "experiential avoidance" is what really changed my life, because I realized it was exactly what I was doing. This book helped me recognize my self-sabotaging patterns and change them.

In addition to this book, the other audiobook that really helped introduce me to ACT was "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life" by Stephen C Hayes. I recommend that audiobook, too.

One of the best foundational pieces of advice from this book, which I will remember forever: "The actions of confidence come first, the feelings of confidence come later."

No Secrets Here

What's your favorite flavor of self-help? Not for me the magical thinking of "The Secret," or the faux-religiousity of "The Four Agreements." The constant vigil to think positive makes me run screaming, though if they help you, great.

Russ Harris is a guru for the pessimist set. Mindfulness without the affirmations. There's no magic here. But there are plenty of thought exercises to help you accept yourself and to make your best decisions, sitting with your anxieties and fear, but seeing past them.

Solid helpful advice along with Graeme Malcolm's effortless narration that makes you feel you're in safe hands. This is just my cup of tea.

Increadibly insightful, life changing!

Finally, the missing piece of the puzzle! So much different from the last book I listened to on confidence, this author has a deep understanding of the topic and doesn't give you the same old "be positive" and "believe in yourself" crap you've heard over and over again. I'm putting these strategies and new understanding to use in business and in my personal life immediately! Soooo thankful I came across this book, where have you been my whole adult life? The information I've gained on confidence, values, and fulfillment is priceless. Fantastic work!

Counter intuitively brilliant.

I really enjoyed the book.
It was counterintuitive, and presented a lot of ideas that I've never heard before.
While the performance was not terribly exciting, I think the ideas have a lot of merit. This book is a contrast to a lot of self-help/motivation books.

I definitely recommend it. A worthwhile read.

Contrarian view

Gives you view as-is vs sugar coating. Makes it simpler to believe vs PMA books

Great book!

Great book! Motivational but grounded in reality. Very helpful mental tools to use on a daily basis.

Great audiobook with a few slips

I gave it 4 stars overall and in performance because there are chapters that are not complete, all of a sudden you notice how the chapter comes to an end without finishing the sentence/idea so that makes one feel like there's some information one is missing. Other than that, you'll have a lot of takeaways from this audiobook that are sincere and feel natural, not forced.

One of those books you should reread!

Outstanding book for self reflection and awareness. I’m using this strategy for myself and my employees.

Great new perspective, outstanding tools

I’ve read and listened to a good amount of self-help books... but this one actually is different. There are several tools throughout this book which I’ve found very effective, mostly because of the perspective and reasoning associated with them. I think it’s essential to understand the concepts of why these tools work. They simply do and I’m happy I’ve listened to this book. Actions of confidence first, feelings of confidence comes later!

Great info

I loved this book. I wish I had read it back in my 20’s. I’ll be recommending this to my kids and friends!