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A Girl's Guide to Vampires
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 13 hrs and 15 mins
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Publisher's summary
Joy Randall's Top-five tips for vampire hunters:
- Location, location, location. Vampires won't be caught dead (ha!) in places like discos, 10-minute lube shops, or Switzerland. Remember, if you wouldn't be there, neither would a bloodsucker.
- Trust your eyes. You know the handsome, annoyingly arrogant, self-assured man in the shadows with long hair and a cleft in his chin? He's your vampire.
- No matter how tempting it might be, do not "accidentally" acquire a paper cut on your finger and suggest your vampire kiss it to make it better.
- Play it cool. Don't offer to accompany your prince of the night on the talk-show circuit, and whatever you do, don't offer him your heart!
- Most of all, remember: being a vampire is nothing to laugh about.
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Story
Delaney Markham has a special talent. Not only does she see dead people, she hears them. By the way, communicating with tormented spirits all day, every day really puts a kink in your love life. With no romantic entanglements to speak of, Delaney is free to use her gifts by holding seances to pay the bills. Except things go off the rails when she meets one unbelievably infuriating ghost, and as her luck would have it, he seems determined to hang around, like all the time!
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I’m sad it’s over…
- By Erica on 11-06-21
By: Dakota Cassidy
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Playing with Fire
- Silver Dragons, Book 1
- By: Katie MacAlister
- Narrated by: Barbara Rosenblat
- Length: 10 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Gabriel Tauhou, the leader of the silver dragons, can't take his eyes of May Northcott - not even when May, who has the unique talent of being able to hide in the shadows, has slipped from everyone else's sights. May, however, has little time for Gabriel - not when she's hiding from the Otherworld law, hunting down a blackmailer, and trying to avoid a demon lord's demands.
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The hilarous six class demon dog Jim is back!!
- By Jordy ♡♡♡♡ on 10-06-13
By: Katie MacAlister
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The Accidental Werewolf
- Accidentally Friends, Book 1
- By: Dakota Cassidy
- Narrated by: Meredith Mitchell
- Length: 10 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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When Marty Andrews gets bitten by a mangy mutt while walking her teacup poodle, her blond hair darkens, the hair on her legs starts growing at an alarming rate, and her mood swings put her dream job as a sales rep for Bobbie-Sue Cosmetics in serious jeopardy. Then a drool-worthy man shows up at her door claiming that he accidentally bit Marty. And since he's a werewolf, she is now, too. Thinking Keegan Flaherty is clearly insane, Marty refuses to believe a word until a kidnapping makes her realize there's more at stake than just her highlights.
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Too much sex
- By CrunchySocks on 03-17-15
By: Dakota Cassidy
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Hard Day's Knight
- By: Katie MacAlister
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 11 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Men in tights never looked so good. At least that's Pepper Marsh's first impression when she attends a jousting competition at the Rennaissance Faire in Ontario. An unemployed and unattached software engineer, Pepper has had enough of the computer geeks in her dating pool. She yearns for a man of yore. A man not afraid to stare death in the face... and laugh at it. A man with a big lance....
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What the...? Was that the book?
- By Howe Howse on 10-16-13
By: Katie MacAlister
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Dark Curse
- By: Christine Feehan
- Length: 13 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Lara Calladine is haunted by childhood memories of being held prisoner in an ice cave and kept sane by the whispered stories told to her by her imprisoned aunts. They instilled mage and Carpathian magic deep within her and then helped her escape. She has spent years searching for the cave in hopes of finding the answers to the riddle of her past as well as finding her aunts who may have given their lives saving her.
By: Christine Feehan
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You Sleigh Me Collection
- Two Otherworld Novellas
- By: Katie MacAlister
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Tempers are frayed when a group of dragons, Dark Ones, and poltergeists find themselves snowed in at an airport, all of whom are desperately trying to get home to celebrate the holidays. What might be a minor inconvenience slowly descends to chaos with a series of ever-escalating nightmarish events, not the least bit helped by Newfoundland demon dog Jim.
By: Katie MacAlister
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The Last Vampire: Books 1-3
- Last Vampire Bundle, Book 1
- By: R. A. Steffan, Jaelynn Woolf
- Narrated by: Gwendolyn Druyor
- Length: 20 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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There’s a smokin’ hot dead guy locked in my garden shed. That part’s bad enough. But now, he’s trying to get out...Growing up, my father always told me that I’d come to a bad end, just like my mom did when I was a kid. Hearing that kind of shit when you’re little eventually gets to a girl, but I can’t say I ever expected my "bad end" to involve an angry vampire with a severe case of iron deficiency and a panty-melting English accent.
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Slow, boring, and lots of whining
- By CCW on 04-30-19
By: R. A. Steffan, and others
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Some Girls Bite
- Chicagoland Vampires, Book 1
- By: Chloe Neill
- Narrated by: Cynthia Holloway
- Length: 11 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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They killed me. They healed me. They changed me. Sure, the life of a graduate student wasn't exactly glamorous, but it was mine. I was doing fine until Chicago's vampires announced their existence to the world---and then a rogue vampire attacked me. But he only got a sip before he was scared away by another bloodsucker...and this one decided that the best way to save my life was to make me the walking undead.
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Almost Great...
- By Jan on 01-10-11
By: Chloe Neill
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Between
- The Chronicles of Between, Book 1
- By: L. L. Starling
- Narrated by: Steve West, Emily Ellet
- Length: 32 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Sasha Pierce hasn’t had a single dream since she was a child...until she accepts a substitute teaching position in the charmingly witchy village of Old Middleton. Her first dream in twenty-five years ought to be enchanting, but her wonder quickly turns to shock when she realizes that it’s not a dream at all, but an entirely different sort of magic. Catapulted through an ancient portal into the fairytale kingdom of Between, Sasha’s astonishment is swiftly upgraded to panic when she accidentally performs a supposedly impossible feat and is declared the True Queen of Between.
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perfect narrators for my favorite characters
- By AnglophileLV on 03-07-23
By: L. L. Starling
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Born in Fire
- Demon Days, Vampire Nights World, Book 1
- By: K.F. Breene
- Narrated by: Nicole Poole
- Length: 10 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Supernatural Bounty Hunter isn't the sort of thing you see on LinkedIn. But with a rare type of magic like mine, I don't have many options. Dangerous or not, the job is mine. And it was going fine, until an old-as-sin vampire stole my mark, and with it, my pay day. Knowing I'm poor and desperate, he has offered me a job. I'll have to work by his side to help solve a top secret case. Everyone knows not to trust vampires. Especially a hot elder vampire.
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Entertaining New Series
- By HWin on 06-23-17
By: K.F. Breene
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Dead Until Dark
- Sookie Stackhouse Southern Vampire Mystery #1
- By: Charlaine Harris
- Narrated by: Johanna Parker
- Length: 9 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Vampires have officially "come out of the coffin", and Miss Sookie can't wait for one to come her way.
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Not what I expected
- By Holly on 09-17-08
By: Charlaine Harris
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White Trash Warlock
- The Adam Binder Novels, Book 1
- By: David R. Slayton
- Narrated by: Michael David Axtell
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Adam Binder has the Sight. It’s a power that runs in his bloodline: the ability to see beyond this world and into another, a realm of magic populated by elves, gnomes, and spirits of every kind. Years after his brother Bobby had him committed to a psych ward, Adam is ready to come to grips with who he is, to live his life on his terms, to find love, and maybe even use his magic to do some good. Hoping to track down his missing father, Adam follows a trail of cursed artifacts to Denver, only to discover that an ancient and horrifying spirit has taken possession of Bobby’s wife.
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Great narrator!
- By aaron on 11-25-20
By: David R. Slayton
What listeners say about A Girl's Guide to Vampires
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Mayd Marian
- 09-13-14
Can't believe this was written by Katie MacAlister
What would have made A Girl's Guide to Vampires better?
To start with better narration. It was so slow and draggy that after I passed half way in the book I sped up the narration that only helped a little bit. The story dragged on WAY to long.
Has A Girl's Guide to Vampires turned you off from other books in this genre?
No. I still love that genre and I even love most of Katie MacAlister's books and own many. Some I have read over and over.
How could the performance have been better?
The narration was way to slow extending the length of the book. It is totally unbelievable that Joy and Roxie could have actually been friends most of their lives. Each of them are portrayed as very annoying and they have no common values, ideas or anything to connect them as such BFFs. Karen White does a very good job with the actual voices, but for goodness sake she shouldn't have stretched out all of the dialog and descriptions and I could have done without the snobby way she made Joy sound. I don't expect all main female characters be someone I would want for a BFF...but it sure would be good if I didn't dislike her enough to hope that she would end up as a corpse also.
What character would you cut from A Girl's Guide to Vampires?
I could see a purpose for all of the characters actually. Just wish that they could all have been less annoying.
Any additional comments?
I love Katie MacAlister's other books. But this one definitely isn't up to her best. Also, I have read other books narrated by Karen White and she can do a better job than what was accomplished in this book, but she definitely isn't up to par with Barbara Rosenblat. I really wanted to read it to the end, but just couldn't handle listening to Karen White's voice any more or put up with the Joy and Roxie characters any more as she portrays them.
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- Amy
- 08-25-13
Terrible!
Any additional comments?
Bad story, bad reading, really terrible. Kept thinking it would get better.... it didn't.
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4 people found this helpful
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- SandyLee
- 05-31-18
Whiney women and over the top machismo
The lead & supporting female leads are the worst women ever. I would NEVER put up with Roxy's crap and inconsiderate behavior. This book just puts a stamp on the old adage that women aren't intelligent. The men were over the top with their crude behavior. Putting the two together just made it worse than ever. Makes me rethink taking advice of other paranormal readers.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Mother Of Cats
- 04-23-19
Stupid. Just stupid.
Ok this book was so stupid. So stupid. I don’t understand how it got as many stars as it did. It is just one big cliche. I honestly never thought I would encounter such a stupid book in my whole audible time. How could anyone any GUY could want someone who is a whiny little girl. I don’t know how old these two are, maybe 23? They sound like high school students wanting to be in a corny vampire book. Who the hell wants to go to Europe to find vampires? Even tho this is a book but I mean COME ON. I got to chapter 7 and stoped. I couldn’t continue. I like strong women who know what they want. This is just a disgrace to all women. Yah I’m done with this author.
The narrator was ok. She got melodramatic at a lot of times which made the story that much more stupid.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Diane
- 01-29-14
Laugh out loud? What? Did we read the same book?
The only saving grace in this book was the narrator. The lead female was irritating at best. The only reason I didn't return this book was based on others reviews thinking surely there was some substance but nada.
This might be a teenagers' good listen, but I expect more adult attitudes in the books I read and/or listen to. Not a female that isn't a person I could stay in a room with for more than 5 minutes without losing my mind.
Katie MacAlister, while a very good author, this book is a complete miss.
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- Q
- 08-01-22
It could've been good..
The main characters are aggravatingly narcissistic and, because of this, the plot was short-sighted and unimaginative.
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- Chels
- 05-09-24
Not for me
This book had potential. I wanted to like it, and listened to the entire story in hopes it would get better, but unfortunately it just didn't. There was no solid storyline and it was honestly more of a smut book than anything. Very scattered and not anything like I expected. I don't recommend.
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- Kindle Customer
- 04-04-13
NOT a Vampire Romance!!!
What disappointed you about A Girl's Guide to Vampires?
It's a VAMPIRE book and the vampire is not even one of two main charaters!
What was most disappointing about Katie MacAlister’s story?
The premise of the series is supposed to be a vampire finding his one true mate. Except that's NOT what happens. It felt like a waste of time and money when you expect to get a vampire romance, and then don't get that!
Have you listened to any of Karen White’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
I liked her performance fine.
If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from A Girl's Guide to Vampires?
If I could play editor, this book wouldn't have gone in this direction at all, or would have been returned to be rewritten.
Any additional comments?
If you name a book A Girl's Guide to Vampires, I expect one of the two main characters to BE a vampire.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Andrew
- 06-17-19
Boring
Got half way through and quit. Got annoyed with everything about it. Save your time.
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- Vandlean Mosier
- 08-22-20
This story really sucks, and by sucks I mean BAD.
🙁😤 DON'T WASTE A CREDIT ON THIS BOOK...
This is my first review, I've listened to hundreds of books through Audible. This is the first book that was so awful I had to say something!!! The characters in this story were terrible, stupid, and childish. The women characters were worse than any teenager that I've ever met..
I'm also very insulted for Ms. Lindsey Sands. Some one wrote a review comparing MacAlister's writing to Ms. Sands. That's rubbish. They are nothing alike. Ms. Sands takes you on an adventure that you don't want to end. In Ms. Sands books about Vampires and also in her Highlander series, her stories are inevitably SOOO much more entertaining. They are adventurous, funny, intriguing, and alot more steamy. If you want to read a good vampire book, read authors like Sands, Frost and Feehan. You'll get everything your looking for and much more. I'm sorry if this review is upsetting to any listeners out there, but in my opinion, every word was the truthful. 😠😳
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