Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me)

Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions and Hurtful Acts

By: Carol Tavris, Elliot Aronson

Narrated by: Marsha Mercant, Joe Barrett

Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins

Publisher's summary

Why do people dodge responsibility when things fall apart? Why the parade of public figures unable to own up when they screw up? Why the endless marital quarrels over who is right? Why can we see hypocrisy in others but not in ourselves? Are we all liars? Or do we really believe the stories we tell? Backed by years of research and delivered in lively, energetic prose, Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) offers a fascinating explanation of self-deception - how it works, the harm it can cause, and how we can overcome it.

©2008 Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson (P)2010 Audible, Inc.

Critic reviews

"Thanks, in part, to the scientific evidence it provides and the charm of its down-to-earth, commonsensical tone, Mistakes Were Made is convincing. Reading it, we recognize the behavior of our leaders, our loved ones, and—if we're honest—ourselves, and some of the more perplexing mysteries of human nature begin to seem a little clearer." (Francine Prose, O, The Oprah Magazine)

"By turns entertaining, illuminating and—when you recognize yourself in the stories it tells—mortifying." ( The Wall Street Journal)

Democrats=good. Republicans=bad.

You know what never gets old? Elitists Monday-morning quarterbacking Bush's decision to invade Iraq. And of course, there's that Ronald Reagan guy, let's not forget to point out his transgressions.

On the positive side if you can give the authors the benefit of the doubt and look past their thinly-veiled partisanship you will find a far better than average summary of the topic of cognitive dissonance and how it affects us. What I liked about this book is that the pause it gives me when attempting to render judgment is not a deal breaker. The author does not want the reader to be plagued by indecision. But they do want people to be aware of the larger picture in any disagreements.

Almost scary insightful

loved this book. Great analysis of how cognitive dissonance blinds us in important decision and what to do about.

Humbling

Know thyself because we are all irrational hypocrites. A bit painful at first having to self examine but like the message from this book says, the ego wants to keep building on cognitive dissonance and the soul just wants to be free. We all make mistakes, I hope we get to the point in our emotional evolution as a society where we recognize that an error is not a mistake, a mistake is refusing to acknowledge our errors and continuing with the delusion that we didn’t do anything wrong and we are not to blame. This is truly about extreme ownership, highly recommend this to everyone looking to improve themselves and be honest. It’s not a passive book, you should be ready to do some soul searching.

Great book

I liked the book at lot. Very informative and interesting. Will try to find another book like this one.

Great book

This was an awesome audiobook, i really enjoyed listening too. I hope there are more.
Narrating was very very superb.

Wow

This book was incredible. it is truly packed with so much useful information. the reader was also very pleasant to listen to. I'm taking so much knowledge with me, and I am sure it's a reread this book over and over again.

I enjoyed this book

The information was great to learn. I really liked the examples were right on. This book left me thinking and taking notice of my decisions.

Wow!! An amazing book!

This book gave me a whole new perspective on life & mistakes. This book was recommended to me & I am so grateful. Listening to it has been so healing & freeing. I hope you get the same out this book as I did.

Blew my expectations out of the water

I bought this book a long time ago as part of a sale, out of guilt. I know I have a really hard time admitting when I'm wrong, and hoped this book would help me get better at it. As you might imagine, this didn't make it seem like a fun read, so it was probably over a year before I listened to it.

It was NOT what I expected. Based on the title and the cover, I thought it would be a very self-involved therapy type book that might or might not be useful. It turned out to be a big picture, scientifically rigorous examination of confirmation bias and the devastating effect it has in every field ranging from medicine to law to war to personal relationships. I wish they'd make it mandatory reading for everyone in law enforcement, law, government, medicine, and social work. That said, I think everyone can benefit from reading it. Although I personally hope I'm never interrogated by the police, after listening to this book I think I'm a lot less likely to screw up if I am.

In the end, I think it could benefit from a little more "What can I personally do to make sure I catch myself when I'm falling prey to confirmation bias?" And "How can I get someone else stuck in confirmation bias to wake up?" The impression I got, though, was that science hasn't quite figured this out yet. I really hope they come out with an expanded, updated edition a few years from now. In the meantime, I'll recommend this version to everyone I know.

I do hope they change the cover & font to reflect the professionalism of the contents better. I'd hate to think other people are making the same mistake I did and judging the book by its cover.

great nonfiction

I enjoyed this nonfiction book that had sighted scientific research and also had anecdotal stories to illustrate the idea of cognitive dissonance and how it affects people.