The Betrayal Bond

Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships

By: Patrick Carnes Ph.D.

Narrated by: Paul Costanzo

Exploitive relationships can create trauma bonds-chains that link a victim to someone who is dangerous to them. Divorce, employee relations, litigation of any type, incest and child abuse, family and marital systems, domestic violence, hostage negotiations, kidnapping, professional exploitation and religious abuse are all areas of trauma bonding. All these relationships share one thing: they are situations of incredible intensity or importance where there is an exploitation of trust or power.

In The Betrayal Bond, Patrick Carnes presents an in-depth study of these relationships, why they form, who is most susceptible, and how they become so powerful. He shows how to recognize when traumatic bonding has occurred and gives a checklist for examining relationships. He then provides steps to safely extricate from these relationships. This is a book you will turn to again and again for inspiration and insight, while professionals will find it an invaluable reference work.

©1997 Patrick J. Carnes (P)2017 Tantor

Helpful for the unintended audience too

Although written for those overcoming betrayal bonds, I found myself able to understand the logic of other people in my life. Many times, I caught myself writing down specific things said, and spending days reflecting.

Awesome Read

I gave this book 5 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 it truly opened my eyes to a lot of what I've experienced as a child and now a adult. I would recommend this book to someone who is ready to deal with past hurts and move on to a new future.

Very helpful

When boundaries have been crossed. Traumas you didn't know were traumas. These were the people you were supposed to be able to trust. I help clients work through childhood wounds and healing their inner child. I have some clients with trauma bonds (betrayal bonds) and this was helpful on verifying some things I see that they remain in denial about. It will help me with some of my approaches in how to open up certain conversations that might help them reframe things to see from a different perspective so they can heal from some extreme betrayals.
I also really enjoyed the guided journey!

Punch To The Gut

From beginning to end, what was said in this book and revealed to me about myself felt like gut punches and soul stabs. Often accompanied by heavy, deep soul sighs. This book really hit home. Highly recommended! When I got to the parts that required me to complete exercises, I felt anxious. Probably because it was a change from just talking about my misery and made me actually do something about it. The exercises were revealing, relevant, and effective. This book just "gets me". If it wasn't meant for everyone, I would've thought this book was written just for me. I can honestly say I got more out of one listen to this book than the 3 months of therapy I've had since I took FMLA leave to deal with my mental health issues. I only wish I would've found it sooner.

Deep AF

I am very grateful for this book and the straightforward presentation of really sensitive material. It is not only informative but instructional. I will be doing all the work suggested and have already recommended to many friends. If you are considering reading this book, I am suggesting it to you now. You won’t regret it.

Very Helpful

I learned a lot from listening to this book. it answered some very puzzling issues for me. I certainly won't be struggling over areas of my life for answers anymore.

Insightful

The author does an amazing job of simplifying the horrific nature of being entangled in trauma bonds. A must read for survivors.

Worst narrator!

Narrator has a horrible lisp with his “S” and it’s incredibly difficult to listen to this audiobook!! I wish I had the actual book to read and could return this audiobook. I may not be able to finish it.

Great information and practices

This book contained so much helpful information and examples of the information presented. Great book!

Resonates to my core

I have been relistening to capture more. The content has facilitated a paradigm shift within me after a life of abuse, betrayal and trauma.