The Origins of You

How Breaking Family Patterns Can Liberate the Way We Live and Love

By: Vienna Pharaon

Narrated by: Vienna Pharaon

NATIONAL BESTSELLER

From licensed therapist and popular Instagram relationship expert Vienna Pharaon (@mindfulmft, +683K followers) comes a profound guide to understanding and overcoming wounds from your Family of Origin—the foundation of how we relate to others, ourselves, and the world around us.

None of us had a perfect childhood; we are all carrying around behaviors that don’t serve us—and may in fact be hurting us. But it doesn’t have to be that way, says licensed marriage and family therapist Vienna Pharaon. Our past might create our patterns, but we can change those patterns for the better...with the right tools.

In The Origins of You, Pharaon has unlocked a healing process to help us understand our Family of Origin—the family and framework we grew up within—and examine what worked (and didn’t) in that system. Unhealed pain (or “wounds”) in that Family of Origin will manifest in our adult behaviors in surprising ways, from work challenges to interpersonal struggles. But the good news: armed with the knowledge about our past, we can actually rewire our programming to meaningfully improve our relationships and our lives, right now and in the future.

It doesn’t matter whether you’ve been in therapy for decades, or whether therapy isn’t for you. It doesn’t matter if you had a great childhood, or a terrible one. You can create change and resolve things from the past that need your attention. Complete with guided introspection, personal experiences, client stories, and frameworks for having difficult conversations to complement each chapter, The Origins of You will teach you how to break family patterns and help you liberate the way you live and love.

©2023 Vienna Pharaon (P)2023 Penguin Audio

Critic reviews

One of Amazon’s Best Books of the Month
One of Hollywood Reporter’s Best Gifts for Sparking Optimism

“The Origins of You offers us a promise: our family of origin, no matter how damaged it might have been, does not determine our destiny. With empathy and wisdom, Vienna Pharaon explains how our past creates our patterns—patterns we’re still living out today—and how we can shift those habits to create a new, healthier path for ourselves. Vienna's book is a gift.” —Nedra Glover Tawwab, author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace

“Change your behavior, change your life. Licensed therapist and relationship expert Vienna Pharaon wrote The Origins of You to help readers break unhealthy patterns of behavior in order to enjoy a better way of life. Each chapter includes worksheets for introspection, which will help you heal old wounds to create meaningful change in relationships with others as well as yourself.” —Hollywood Reporter

“[Pharaon] offers tools to communicate and set boundaries in relationships, and encourages readers to make changes to take control of their own relationship dynamics and move beyond their past trauma…She encourages readers to seek out therapy, while still offering them a starting place to understand their trauma and guide them through the work that they will need to do as they move forward…Will appeal to fans of Pharaon’s Instagram page and those seeking a self-help guide to help them navigate family patterns and take control of their love lives.” —Library Journal

Wow, that was good

This is one of the best self reflective books. I learned so much and came out with a broad understanding of my relationships with family and friends. Thank you I’m forever changed.

So good for those of us on a healing journey!

This is a must for anyone who is trying to grow and heal. I think I’m going to buy the paper copy to go back and highlight things I want to remember!

Powerful

This book definitely was unique in the space of psychotherapy and psychology. I gained a lot from it and hope more people will take the deep dive even though it may feel uncomfortable or hard , it’s work that’s worthwhile ! Great read

The best self discovery book ever written

Wow, just wow. I have consumed a fair amount of self help books but this is hands down the best one. Pharaon’s ability to make this approachable is remarkable. Standing ovation.

10/10 recommend for every human

This book provides a blueprint to get to the deep dark places within us and how to heal them

Amazing

Highly recommend for anyone seeking introspection. I will be gifting this to my close friends who are curious about their lives and want a deeper relationship with themselves and others.

Brilliantly healing

My daughter, Christina recommended this book to me, now I understand why. I recommend it to every mother and daughter who are looking for a new path forward.

Relatability and Soothing

Wow, I feel so grateful to have discovered this book. I was having a pretty bad argument with my dad and my sister suggested reading this. I came to find, I am my father’s daughter and I portray a lot of his character defects. I never realized I had a worthiness wound that runs so deep into my childhood and has affected my relationships with men and my finances. Ouufff! I will be listening to this book again to instill the boundaries, conflict resolution and communication in my behavior patterns. It clicks, but I need to stick! This is actually explained in the book in some of the sessions and she walks through how to move forward. Thank you for writing this, I think you just changed my relationship and financial success story for good as it will be hard to ignore the hard truths I’ve learned about myself.

Great contribution for all!

Great book. It is well laid out and written, Provides useful framework to understand the origins of our reactive behavior and how to address them to live a fuller, healthier, and more connected life.

Such a Gift

I listened to this book in one day. It was so well organized, very smart and sensitive. Beautifully done as well as delivered. A must listen for anyone on a healing journey. Congratulations Vienna!