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Tropical Hazard: Oh Sh*t! Cobalins Can't Swim!
- Arachnomancer, Book 3
- Narrated by: Qarie Marshall
- Length: 15 hrs and 10 mins
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Tropical Hazard: Oh Sh*t! Cobalins Can't Swim!
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Publisher's summary
In a village of lazy, good-for-nothing Cobalins, one manly man—a true studly stud—stands above them all: the great, the powerful, the King of…Knock.
(Desley palms her forehead. You no be King of Shadows! Now we have to start over. Cobalins groan.)
The terrible Army of Light knows the secret location of Dedu Tedu Novus. War is here. There's absolutely no avoiding it.
Or is there?
Naturally, Dhane does the most unthinkable thing: employs an impromptu plan, his favorite type. It's dangerous, it's crazy, and it embarks them on a new adventure where it rains every day and the problems don't stop.
Can he save his village? Can he convince Challenger Sarah to help? Or is he only putting off the inevitable, the point where the Changed Reditai turn all those of Shadow into stone for their mysterious plans?
Tropical Hazard is the third installment in the hilarious—and sometimes serious—Arachnomancer series. Travel to a new zone, see the world, and eat spider tacos. Octoralis glares. Or… umm… don't. Don't do that last thing.
Notice: Arachnomancer was rated M for mature by a team of immature Cobalins. Listen at your own risk.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
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- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,649
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 5,407
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 5,406
It’s 1984, and life has changed beyond recognition. Airstrip One, formerly known as Great Britain, is a place where Big Brother is always watching, and nobody can hide. Except, perhaps, for Winston Smith. Whilst working at the Ministry of Truth, rewriting history, he secretly dreams of freedom. And in a world where love and sex are forbidden, where it’s hard to distinguish between friend and foe, he meets Julia and O’Brien and vows to rebel.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
A Revelation!
- By wotsallthisthen on 04-07-24
By: George Orwell, and others
-
Tansy Bloom, Monster Hunter
- By: L. J. Weller
- Narrated by: Tanya Reynolds
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 403
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 387
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 387
Three months ago, Tansy Bloom quit monster hunting. Since then, she’s been trying to live a normal life (whatever that means), but ending up single, unemployed, and living on a boat outside her godfather’s pub definitely wasn’t part of the plan. So, when Tansy’s ex-husband – fellow monster hunter Rex Barclay – turns up like a bad penny and asks for her help with his latest investigation, Tansy reluctantly agrees. At first, the job appears to be a straightforward monster hunt – following a spate of large creature sightings, Rex believes a werewolf is on the loose in Norfolk.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
Romance Whiplash
- By Julie on 07-18-24
By: L. J. Weller
-
The Martian
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 36,714
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 32,693
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 32,589
Six days ago, astronaut Mark Watney became one of the first people to walk on Mars. Now, he's sure he'll be the first person to die there. After a dust storm nearly kills him and forces his crew to evacuate while thinking him dead, Mark finds himself stranded and completely alone with no way to even signal Earth that he’s alive - and even if he could get word out, his supplies would be gone long before a rescue could arrive. But Mark isn't ready to give up yet.
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1 out of 5 stars
-
I love Wil Wheaton but why not R. C. Bray?
- By L. Newman on 01-11-20
By: Andy Weir
-
Artemis
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Rosario Dawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 93,963
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 86,060
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 85,858
Jazz Bashara is a criminal. Well, sort of. Life on Artemis, the first and only city on the moon, is tough if you're not a rich tourist or an eccentric billionaire. So smuggling in the occasional harmless bit of contraband barely counts, right? Not when you've got debts to pay and your job as a porter barely covers the rent. Everything changes when Jazz sees the chance to commit the perfect crime, with a reward too lucrative to turn down.
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3 out of 5 stars
-
A ferrari with no motor
- By will on 11-18-17
By: Andy Weir
-
Starter Villain
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 8,688
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 7,724
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 7,718
Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
- By C. White on 09-19-23
By: John Scalzi
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Dhane kicked the bucket in spectacular fashion, every bone crushed, every organ popped against the full force of a 40-ton garbage truck speeding through a red light. The only part of him intact—whole—entirely unaffected by the grisly affair was his soul. Souls are durable things, you see, like kids: they bounce. And bounce he did, into the abyss between worlds, drifting until one excited soul watcher fished him out and found him a new home, a heaven for gamers and nerds and everything in between.
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Sarah snuffed it, expired, breathed her last breath—also known as died, if you need it spelled out—in the most unlikely of places…the library. But do not fret! This is perfectly normal. What is not normal, however, is the persistence of one’s soul after shuffling off this mortal coil. To break the Cycle is strange and wrong and perverse. It goes against the very nature of existence: lives must eventually be recycled (responsibly). Lucky or unlucky, Sarah finds herself Cycle-broken and very much alive, depending on how strict you wish to be with that definition.
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5 out of 5 stars
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This was a fun read
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One sunny day, a routine airshow ended with me flying through a portal to another world. Here, warplanes aren’t the only thing in the sky. Oh, and my mind has a tendency to see what others are thinking. Now, amongst airships, beautiful beastkin, floating continents and telepathic powers, I’ll have to pick a side to fight for. When I do, I'll have to prove my loyalty, my skill, and play my part in saving this world from an evil that crossed from my world into this one. On the ground, I’m just a man, but in the air, I’m as powerful as a dragon.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A few minutes ago, Meghan Moretti's biggest concern was getting the kids' athletic clothes washed in time for practice this evening. Now, it seems that Earth has been forced into participating in some high-stakes intergalactic reality television. All electrical wiring has been slagged, and most combustibles neutralized. Some kind of evil space rodents are appearing on the front lawn, too.
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4 out of 5 stars
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just eating no review here.
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The Shadow of Heaven - A Sword & Sorcery LitRPG Dark Fantasy with Heroes, Elves, Dragons, Vampires, a Quest, and Lots of RPG-Style Combat
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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The goblin horde is coming, driven by a dark Sorcerer eager to drive the dwarven race into extinction. Reborn as a dungeon core inside a fabled gem known as the Brisingstone, Bowen vows to use this new life to protect what is left of his people and avenge those who could not be saved. With new-found powers, Bowen learns to create golems of stone and clay to act on his behalf. With half-remembered mining skills, Bowen rekindles the forge of his ancestors and, under the guidance of his new Dungeon fairy, teaches his golems to create metal automatons of war.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Horrible
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Wrong Divinity
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Dhane kicked the bucket in spectacular fashion, every bone crushed, every organ popped against the full force of a 40-ton garbage truck speeding through a red light. The only part of him intact—whole—entirely unaffected by the grisly affair was his soul. Souls are durable things, you see, like kids: they bounce. And bounce he did, into the abyss between worlds, drifting until one excited soul watcher fished him out and found him a new home, a heaven for gamers and nerds and everything in between.
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4 out of 5 stars
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rough
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 30
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Sarah snuffed it, expired, breathed her last breath—also known as died, if you need it spelled out—in the most unlikely of places…the library. But do not fret! This is perfectly normal. What is not normal, however, is the persistence of one’s soul after shuffling off this mortal coil. To break the Cycle is strange and wrong and perverse. It goes against the very nature of existence: lives must eventually be recycled (responsibly). Lucky or unlucky, Sarah finds herself Cycle-broken and very much alive, depending on how strict you wish to be with that definition.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 64
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 55
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One sunny day, a routine airshow ended with me flying through a portal to another world. Here, warplanes aren’t the only thing in the sky. Oh, and my mind has a tendency to see what others are thinking. Now, amongst airships, beautiful beastkin, floating continents and telepathic powers, I’ll have to pick a side to fight for. When I do, I'll have to prove my loyalty, my skill, and play my part in saving this world from an evil that crossed from my world into this one. On the ground, I’m just a man, but in the air, I’m as powerful as a dragon.
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
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Golem Dungeon
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 73
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The goblin horde is coming, driven by a dark Sorcerer eager to drive the dwarven race into extinction. Reborn as a dungeon core inside a fabled gem known as the Brisingstone, Bowen vows to use this new life to protect what is left of his people and avenge those who could not be saved. With new-found powers, Bowen learns to create golems of stone and clay to act on his behalf. With half-remembered mining skills, Bowen rekindles the forge of his ancestors and, under the guidance of his new Dungeon fairy, teaches his golems to create metal automatons of war.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Horrible
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Redemption's Cost
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 36
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 31
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 31
Ezekiel died on Earth only to be resurrected in the body of a Lich. Well, now he’d done it. He was only playing the villain to blow off steam, now he was stuck in the body of one.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Not overwhelming stats!
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The Throne War - A Sword & Sorcery LitRPG Dark Fantasy with a Boy Thief, a Knight, a Ninja, a Sorceress, Monsters, an Evil King, and Lots of RPG-Style Combat
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
Author’s Note: This novel is “LitRPG Lite,” which means that it does not give explicit stats, levels, etc., but it is very much RPG-inspired fantasy literature, in which characters acquire items and weapons and spells, gain experience and increase in power by fighting and defeating enemies, and obtain quests that require them to venture into dungeons and fight monsters and defeat bosses, with the ultimate goal of defeating a final boss. I would say that the inspiration for this novel comes more from games than from novels: what directly inspired this book is Final Fantasy and Dungeons...
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The Odyssey of Nath Dragon Collection
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 2
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 2
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Led by a mysterious diabolical menace, cunning dark elves hatch a deadly scheme that will destroy Nath Dragon and his kin. Forced to run or die, Nath is thrust from the sanctuary of Dragon Home and into the wild. With nobody to trust and nowhere to go, the young warrior sets out to uncover answers that his rivals will kill to protect.
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Quest Master
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 20
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I woke and found myself in an ancient temple—naked, alone and without any memory of my past. Even the name my status screen displays—"Valerian Hawkblade"—is unfamiliar to me. It's a good name. A champion's name. Fate joins me with a pair of adventurers searching the long abandoned temple. Nikita, a human warrior, and her friend Kazumi, an elven mage, are seeking a magic weapon to defeat Baron Skeg. I pledge my aid in their quest for vengeance and together we begin a journey of leveling up, winning treasure, and upgrading our gear.
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5 out of 5 stars
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great book
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Immerse yourself in the extraordinary tale of Kazuki, an otaku with a deep infatuation for cat girls, who suddenly finds himself in the enchanting Silver City. Here, a variety of fantastical races coexist harmoniously, but it's the cat girls who command Kazuki's attention. Kazuki's life takes a thrilling turn when he rescues a beautiful cat girl executive from danger, landing him a role as Security Specialist at 'Whisker Wonders,' a prominent cat girl consulting firm.
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5 out of 5 stars
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heart felt moments
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Dread Knight
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 48
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 43
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 43
Centuries ago, a cabal of powerful mages cast a disastrous spell that corrupted the source of magic, transforming much of the world's population into merciless monsters called Riven. Empires crumbled. Civilization collapsed. Yet an ember of hope remains. Duncan Keene is a Dread Knight, a dark warrior empowered by an unholy pact with a demon lord. He has sacrificed everything to save the world from the Riven—his family, his future, even his very soul. When he finds himself unexpectedly partnered with the last uncorrupted angel in the world, she makes it her mission to redeem him.
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5 out of 5 stars
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give me some more
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Champion's Trial
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- By: JJ Bookerson
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 135
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 109
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When a God of War barged into his apartment, Jake had no idea what to expect... but it wasn't being forced into a never-ending war against evil invaders, or that the battle would strangely resemble the MMORPG games he loved. Working hard and building himself up from almost nothing, Jake would need every bit of knowledge and preparation to master his new class of Summoner. Joined by a sly Demoness with an ancient past and a shy Valkyrie hoping to prove herself in battle, they'll find excitement and enjoyment as they level and grow in power.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Check This One Out
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By: JJ Bookerson
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The Tower of Aetherius: A Progression Fantasy
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 30
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 27
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Story4 out of 5 stars 27
When Aesca Lampi wakes up in the form of her character from Eldest Fantasy Wars Online, she's annoyed by the historical inaccuracies. (Video-game-style scrolls? Really?) That is, until a building collapses on top of her, revealing she's on a fantastical island centered around the impossibly tall, glowing Tower of Aetherius . . . with an array of dangerous creatures—including jaguar hybrids, velociraptors, and giant, flesh-eating lizards—in the way. (Oh, joy.)
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4 out of 5 stars
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Pretty Solid
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The Panchira Protocol
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
Peeping Tom has spent years locked up in a mental institution because of his penchant for lifting girl's skirts. So when a busload of Catholic schoolgirls arrives on the scene, he thinks all his Christmases have come at once. But these aren't normal schoolgirls. They're here to chew gum and kick ass, and they're all out of gum.
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Mark of the Crijik: A LitRPG Adventure
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- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 414
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 353
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 352
Andross Silver has a nice life...until he is pushed off a building and finds himself in a new world. Reborn into a family that wants to kill him, gifted with a System, and armed with determination, Andross must rise to the challenges of a strange new world he suddenly finds himself in. His only blessing is the Mark of the Crijik, a magical gift from a divine being that bestows great powers onto those that possess it. It also kills them at the age of 25. Andross must master magic to help him carve a path to greatness.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Refreshing Lit RPG without the angst
- By Charles Johnson on 11-02-22
By: ThinkTwice
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My Secret Portal to a Fantasy World
- My Secret Portal to a Fantasy World, Book 1
- By: D. Levesque
- Narrated by: Giancarlo Herrera, Hannah Schooner
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 85
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 75
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 75
Jack Pritcher has hit rock bottom, losing his home and job. Just when he believes his sanity might be next, he's presented with an opportunity that sounds utterly unbelievable. The offer on the table is to become a guardian of a Portal, a doorway to another world. But there's a twist – he must keep it a secret. Portals, it turns out, are alive in some way. They possess sentience and dictate their own set of rules that guardians must follow, under the penalty of death.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Warning, If your Not into World Building This is not for you
- By Amazon Customer on 04-11-24
By: D. Levesque
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Knights Apocalyptica
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- By: Zach Skye
- Narrated by: Roger Clark
- Length: 21 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 97
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 88
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 88
The Earth met its end, bathed in holy fire. Rifts spill monsters into our world. Chaos reigns. Now, the Kingdom of Cindrus is the last bastion of humanity. The last vestiges of a broken people clinging to life deep underground. But not all hope is lost. Erec has been blessed by the Goddess. From a line of disgraced nobility, he seeks to reclaim his family's honor and join the prestigious academy, the institution that trains the next generation of Knights.
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4 out of 5 stars
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MC has no agency and is abused by his AI
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By: Zach Skye
What listeners say about Tropical Hazard: Oh Sh*t! Cobalins Can't Swim!
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Peyton
- 06-30-24
Never fails to get a laugh
After unfortunately finishing the third book in this amazing series it pains me to realize that I no longer have any arachnomancer books to listen to, this travesty fills me with disappointment such as Octoralis is filled with at Dhane’s thwarting of her romantic plans.
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