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The Confidence Gap

By: Russ Harris, Steven Hayes PhD - foreword
Narrated by: Graeme Malcolm
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Editorial review


By Seth Hartman, Audible Editor

THE CONFIDENCE GAP HELPS YOU GROW AT YOUR OWN PACE

In a sea of compelling and well-researched books focused on self-betterment, The Confidence Gap offers one of the most earnest and achievable goals. In terms of pure personal impact, Russ Harris’s words left a strong impression on me and continue to affect my life.

I tend to be pretty skeptical when authors attempt to change my mindset. When it comes to books that make promises like this, I am more of a "guilty until proven innocent" type of guy. This book, however, really did reframe some of my most foundational qualities. Adopting clinically proven techniques from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Dr. Harris seeks to rewrite our relationships with our own anxieties and limitations.

A psychotherapist and a medical doctor, Dr. Harris believes that we are misusing what he considers to be some of our most useful instincts. He advises that attempting to apply brute force to insecurities will generally not only end in failure and frustration, but can even create a worse relationship to that particular feeling. At first, I did not understand where he was taking this point, but Harris quickly offers an elegant solution. Rather than seeing my weaknesses as a burden, I could instead apply them as assets to tackle life’s greatest obstacles. This is no snake oil pitch, as all of Dr. Harris’s claims are backed up by verified Acceptance and Commitment Therapy research.

Dr. Harris’s pragmatic approach to self-development really resonated with me. I am not the kind of person who believes in quick fixes, and that is not what The Confidence Gap offers. Rather than relying on a gimmicks and, ultimately, skimming the surface of self-confidence, Harris challenged me to look within myself, identify what I believe is holding me back, and then make it my ally. As I know from experience, this process requires work—luckily, this book comes with plenty of exercises to help its many lessons sink in. After investing time and effort in The Confidence Gap, I have found that I look at my own limitations with a deeper understanding and with something resembling fondness.

While any fan of self-development media will likely enjoy this book, I think this is an especially good one for skeptics like me. Dr. Harris makes no bones about some of life's most difficult hurdles. He knows that there are countless self-help titles out there, and he does not attempt to compete with them by spewing the same mantras we have all heard countless times. This is self-development for people who recognize their blemishes and personal hang-ups. Rather than seeking to fix your life in one go, Harris will guide you to instill values that are designed to help build confidence from the ground up.

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Publisher's summary

Too many of us miss out on opportunities in life because we lack self-confidence. Whether it's public speaking, taking on a leadership role, or asking someone for a date, there are situations in which we just don't feel equipped to handle the challenges we face. Russ Harris offers a surprising solution to low self-confidence, shyness, and insecurity: Rather than trying to "get over" our fears, he says, the secret is to form a new and wiser relationship with them. Paradoxically, it's only when we stop struggling against our fearfulness that we begin to find lasting freedom from it. Drawing on the techniques of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), a cutting-edge form of cognitive-behavioral therapy, The Confidence Gap explains how to: Free yourself from common misconceptions about what confidence is and how to build it; transform your relationship with fear and anxiety; clarify your core values and use them as your inspiration and motivation; use mindfulness to effectively handle negative thoughts and feelings.

©2011 Russ Harris (P)2014 Audible Inc.

Featured Article: The Audible Essentials—The Top 100 Well-Being Listens of All Time


We assembled our editors, scoured listener reviews, polled our most-trusted colleagues, and listened our ears off to bring you this list of 100 must-listen well-being titles on Audible. Whether you’re looking to get organized, stay motivated, find creative inspiration, or relieve stress, these audiobooks and podcasts are packed with insights from self-development and wellness experts to help you take the next step—or the first—in your personal journey.

What listeners say about The Confidence Gap

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What I needed

The world is full of advice on boosting confidence, and most of it is crap. This book lays out the reasons why and replaces the crappy rules with ones to live by. I'm going to read it at least once again. Already, I have been living by what I've learned from this book and it's really helped. I recommend this book to anyone and everyone who's ever struggled with motivation, discipline, or confidence.

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Enjoyed listening but...

There were several instances where writing/list making was asked of the listener. This was difficult to do while driving,etc. I felt like I was losing out on part of the learning experience.

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8 people found this helpful

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Fear is my new best friend

The Confidence Gap's narrative, voice and style are unorthodoxically helpful. From someone who has a library full of self-help books and motivational tools, this was by far, the most helpful book I've read. Struggled about 1 year to finish it but it was well worth it. Hooked, trampled and lost in the tyrannical dictatorship of self-judgements & self-justifications, I came to start acting on ACT. 1year later, Diffusion and Expansion have paved the way to a successful, meaningful life.
Start the book, and even if you stopped for a few days, months, years, come back to it again. Unhook yourself, give yourself the chance to win

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This is the most practical book on anxiety

I've read a ton about anxiety. This book is the most practical approach I've come across. There is a subtle repeating of all the concepts over and over but it makes for a great lazy read. It could have been way shorter but In the end I think the authors approach to this subject is the most thought out and well refined.

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Good book well worth keeping in your library

Good book.

The style is a bit on the dry side, but there is great information with good tips, tools and methodologies.

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Great Book

This was really good . And I never leave reviews. Just felt a strong urge after listening.

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Exceptionally Good

The narrator was on point and the content even more so. Quite good, highly recommended!

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Interesting ideas on new ways to confront issues

Focuses on putting your feelings in perspective and the fact that they are just thoughts. Emphasizes that confident actions will come before confident thoughts.

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I don't need anymore personal self help books.

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

Yes. This book was wonderful. It really gives practical solutions and peace of mind for dealing with a nutty dysfunctional brain.

What other book might you compare The Confidence Gap to and why?

I really loved the Miracle of Self Discipline by Brian Tracy. It had a lot of good tips and motivation, but Russ' book was much easier. I read it three months ago, and along with "The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up' it has caused me to really turn my life in a different direction.

What does Graeme Malcolm bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

Love the accent

If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?

"Yes Brain, I hear you and thank you for your input."

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substance,

so worth it. it's like having a therapist for $20 basically. helpful tactics, really quality material. go buy it.

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